I am in charge of planning our office party for this season. My boss wants to invite spouses/significant others to join us, however he's not a fan of one of our used to be part-time husbands (she no longer works for the company, but left on great terms and still comes in to help once in a while). So he's can't decide what to do.
I think it should be spouses and what not, but I know that my boss really doesn't not get along with this guy. What can I do that won't cause a fight or make everyone uncomfortable?
2007-11-12 05:17:35 · 15 answers · asked by nicoley812 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
WOW. Most of your responses are really quite rude and very unhelpful. Maybe you should have asked before you judged my boss as the jerk. He's not the jerk. The other guy treats his wife poorly and none of us really want him there. However his wife was a HUGE part of our team for a long time and we all love her which is why we want her there.
All of you are just a bit to quick to judge the boss as a bad person. I'm a so lucky to have such a great boss.
Thank you to the couple of you who said what I was thinking I appreciate your response.
2007-11-12 05:38:44 · update #1
I can see how the situation could be troublesome. To make everyone happy, I would recommend inviting all current employee spouses to the holiday party. For the past employee, proceed to invite her but when you call to follow up, ask how "so-and-so" is doing (an old roommate, a son or daughter, best friend?) and let the old employee know that you would love to have them join you for the office holiday party. ("Because you've heard so much about her/him.")
If the old employee is smart, she'll know not to bring her hubby because of tensions between your boss and significant other. She'll also know that this is a hint that her husband is not welcomed.
If that doesn't work, is there an employee at your work that used to be close with her? Perhaps that person can send an email and just casually comment on the upcoming office party.
There are ways around this. But most of all, it is up to the past employee to recognize your hints and take them. If that still doesn't work, Mr. Boss-man better act like a boss and take in the holiday spirit with professionalism.
2007-11-12 05:38:24 · answer #1 · answered by BABY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you include some spouses, you should include all of them. Yes, even the ones you don't like. So there are really only two nice ways of doing this. Invite them all and maybe your boss can just avoid the one he doesn't like. Or limit the party to only current employees, thus eliminating both of them. However if it's custom to include past employees, there might be others that would then also need to be excluded.
Of course there is also the not so nice way. When you contact the former employee, don't mention that spouses are included. Maybe she won't find out until she comes, then you could just act as if it was an over site. Not nice, but it may work.
2007-11-12 06:24:41 · answer #2 · answered by J M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this one person the exception, in regard to spouses not wanted at the party? You mention she no longer works in the office, so does she receive a formal invitation to the party, or is she invited by word of mouth. Since she's not an actual employee, perhaps the full-employees could bring guests/spouses, but if she's the only additional, you could write a note that says, "Due to budget constraints, only full-employees are allowed to bring guests." Although she may know that this is just for her, to not bring her husband, it's the only "polite" way to handle the situation. If it's not a lone situation, you can't pick and choose, so you'll just have to make the hard decision on whether or not to invite any spouses/significant others.
2007-11-12 08:57:55 · answer #3 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite the spouses. It will be up o the the invitee to attend or not. If your boss cannot rise above such immature behavior for the event, he's an ***.
Invite the spouses. Unless it's at work during working hours....I think that would be OK.
2007-11-12 05:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mustardseed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think she will not feel offended by being there as a "single" even tho others might have their spouses with them, then just call and tell her about the get together and say that you all miss her and want to include her. I bet she will be happy to have a chance to get out of the house away from her creepy husband.
2007-11-12 06:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by Scout F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boss that there's no way to exclude the one person without causing discomfort & gossip. Promise to help shield him, and confide in a couple of trusted co-workers too. This is a situation that families face, when it's helpful to have several people assigned to the task of keeping immature children apart from each other.
2007-11-12 05:27:42 · answer #6 · answered by noname 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As an interim employee, there is no requirement to invite the individual and her spouse that you speak of. It is okay to stipulate (should anyone ask) that the party is for current full-time or part-time employees and their spouses only, and that it was decided that interim employees do not qualify.
2007-11-12 05:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by Jacqueline C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell you boss that it would be fun to invite spouses and all, and that he/she will just have to relax while this woman's significant other (that he/she can't get along with). It's only for one evening, right? If they're mature then there won't be a fight.
2007-11-12 05:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
"That" guy sit him the far possible from your boss, as well decide for the best if all spouses or none, if one goes and the rest knows (as usual) that is gonna generate problems.
2007-11-12 05:26:25 · answer #9 · answered by Dragonheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HOnestly, I don't know how your boss got to be your boss if he makes choices like that one....could there be more to it than just one ex-employees mate?.....maybe he's fooling around with someone in the office or something....if not and even if, he needs to buck up and put up with it....he's way off base, thankfully for him, youi know better...
2007-11-12 05:22:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋