in 2004, my boyfriend gave me his moms engagement ring as a 'promise/engagement' ring. We had just graduated highschool so he didnt have the money for his own. I knew beforehand he was going to give it to me, cause his mom couldnt keep a secret, so i was not at all surprised when/where he did it... in fact, his mom told him where & when she thought it was best to do it, so it wasnt even HIS original idea. I pretended i had no idea.
About 2 weeks ago i felt bad about making him feel bad (i have some anger issues from being abused as a child i am working through with a counselor, i dont yell or get abusive but i pull back from people around me) I was tired of hurting him, so i took off the ring and put it on the night stand. We made up a couple of hours later.. i didnt want to just tak the ring back do i told him if/when he wanted to.. he could
I texted a friend today saying how i still dont have the ring back, and how i was getting worried because its still just
2007-11-12 04:24:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
sitting on the night stand. i accidently sent the text TO my boyfriend, and he texted me back saying " I wasnt supposed to get that, was i"
I feel like a complete moron. Not only did i make myself vulnerable & pathetic looking... but he JUSt told me the reason why he didnt give it back was because he is looking into getting me my own ring.
I knew the FIRST time when he was going to ask me to be his forever, now i just blew it again. i dont want to know beforehand that hes going to propose, its supposed to be a surprise and itd be nice if I COULD TELL PEOPLE i am engaged without them already knowing! Is this asking too much? What do i say to him now?
2007-11-12 04:26:22 · update #1
I'm really upset i blew the surprise factor..again.. and i told him i dont even want the ring now, that i made the decision to take it off in the first place and now i have to live with that and maybe in a year from now he can decide if he wants to give it back.
We dont plan on getting married either FYI...we feel like it will ruin things. Yes, its a little unordinary, but thats how we want it. So its not like we have a wedding to plan in the near future or anything
2007-11-12 04:29:39 · update #2
congratulations
2007-11-12 04:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by geordie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it important to the two of you to be committed to each other? I expect it's because you love each other, respect each other and admire each other, right?
So why are you getting tied into knots over surprises and etiquette?
If I were you, I'd just call him and say you've realised that you are getting very uptight over something that's really not so important. Rings are a symbol of your love, not a substitute for it or a precondition for it! Say you're sorry if you've hurt him and you forgive him for hurting you.
Maybe you should also tell him you'd like the two of you to talk over how you want to handle sharing your news and surprises with family and friends in future? You need to communicate lovingly and honestly so you can buld a good, strong relationship based on your love and respect.
Best of luck.
2007-11-12 05:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by Helen M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must decide what you are wanting in a relationship. while rings are nice and such the material values do not out weigh the values of the heart. Would suggest you two get away and discuss these issues just between yourselfs. If you admit that yo ucannot commit now what good is a promise ring; it is a half hearted promise.
2007-11-12 05:01:42 · answer #3 · answered by davidsirknight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no intention of getting married, you're not engaged to be married; you're simply in a relationship. You don't need a ring for that.
If your concern is ruining the surprise, don't be upset about that. There is no surprise engagement because you're not engaged. If you want to wear a ring to fend off potential suitors, go ahead, but you're not truly engaged so there is no "surprise" to ruin.
2007-11-12 05:11:32 · answer #4 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what the big deal is if you not even planning on getting married... Whats the point of a promise/engagement ring?
Oh any by the way, if your in this relationship for the long run then you have to learn how to let go. In a good relationship you have to be able to let yourself be venerable. That's what intimacy is.
2007-11-12 04:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kamunyak 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might say that's a incredibly lots f**ked situation yet you're actually not thoroughly f**ked. You sound like somebody who's amazingly serious of your self and in all probability a perfectionist. try respiratory i'm particular different pupils do not even care approximately their instructions as lots. have you ever heard of the expression, making mountains out of mole hills? you have have been given a pair of hills right here. In Chem: feels like your grade is achievable - so do not rigidity that one over as lots. Calculus ought to be your concentration in case you have a D. It feels like a physically powerful theory you withdrew from French - who desires the greater rigidity? %. it up yet over back and perhaps with yet another instructor. For the calculus i might attempt to attitude the instructor in my view, perhaps the two one among them (the chemistry instructor) additionally. See in the event that they could understand what you're dealing with and perhaps they could have greater credit or grant greater help. by no capacity hurts to ask, attempt to not freak your self and draw close in there :) in case you finally end up having to drop back, that's the way it rather is. do not beat your self up the two.
2016-09-29 02:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just need to chill out. To start with, I think it's a good thing he's asking advice before giving you the ring... it shows that he cares about you,doesn't want to mess up, and wants to make sure you'll be happy. You should be flattered that he's taken all that time to think about the right way to do things. Secondly I wouldn't worry about the text. If anything it just shows him that you care about him because you were worried.
2007-11-12 04:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not planning on getting married, then it's not an engagement ring. You're playing house. No commitment. Don't have kids. Neither of you is mature enough for that.
Especially if your biggest gripe is a freaking ring.
2007-11-12 04:39:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oops. Too late. I think it's time to move on and search for other fish and someone who better complements you. There is a lid for every pot believe it or not.
2007-11-12 04:37:13 · answer #9 · answered by Brewspy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you f*cked up a little try to make it up to him.
2007-11-12 04:30:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋