too many priorities...need advice?

Question

To make a long story short, I am a single mother, I am 34 and I have one 10-year-old son. I was raised to be independednt, resourceful, and competent. I am educated and I consider myself intelligent.

The problem is, I am spreading myself way too thin, but there is nothing in my life of which I can let go. Among my responsibilities are my son, my home, my job, finances, education (I am a college student), my son's school, our church, my own health, my family, my friends, and several other things that are mainly value based, such as my commitment to the community and the environment.

I am at a point where I just can't seem to keep it all together, but I have this stupid, stubborn streak that won't let me ask for help with anything.

I would love to hear from others who are going through this, as well as any advice you all might have.

Thanks!

Answer 1

I think you're teaching your son a lot of great lessons in life. Why not allow him to help unload some of your commitments? The environment is importantto you, so maybe put your son in charge of recycling. He's 10, so you could also ask him to do some research on things you can do at home to help the environment. Let him pick a few to work on as his own personal projects. From now on, start buying the fluorescent lightbulbs when you need replacements. That's an easy fix - and you'll find yourself replacing them less and less, believe me!

For your church involvement, let it be something that your son can help you with as well. For example, if you're going to be at church anyway, maybe volunteering to be a Sunday School teacher would be a good idea (maybe for kindergarten?). You'd just have to be there an hour or so earlier than normal - and it doesn't involve any extra trips to church. Your son can help you with lesson plans and can even help you teach if you have preschool or kindergarten.

The same thing can be done with community involvement. Maybe he can mentor younger kids.

That should take quite a burden off your shoulders, and give you some bonding time with your son....so it's not like you're really asking for help, you're just involving him in things that are important to you.

Answer 2

I too tend to throw myself everywhere. it is very frustrating because a piece of you wants to immerse yourself in new opportunities, have friends, family, a solid career, etc... That being said....
1) You can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING. You need to make a list of things that bring you joy, or are essential, etc...
For example, if you are attempting to be a good mother, hold down a job, and educate yourself.... Is it essential that you involve yourself in every single community based opportunity that comes your way? You need to pick carefully. You know that faith is important to you, and hence it needs to be there, but you need to keep the basics, but not everything else.
1) Attend church weekly, but do not involve yourself in all of the outside committees and whatnot. Politely resign from them and explain that you although you enjoy the activities, you are struggling with keeping balance. Your associates will hopefully understand.
2) Develop structure and routine for yourself.... for example, study regularly at certain times of the week/day.
3) Reach out to others for assistance with things that you must keep in your life. As they say with raising children... it takes a village.
4) Focus on your finances. If you can find ways to reduce monthly bills, and hence cut down on financial stress, go for it! Perform an energy audit of your home, drop the cable TV and get rabbit ears, etc.... these are little budget savers.
Simplify and prioritize. This will help you!
5) Take time for yourself, even if it is a half hour a day... sitting in yoru car alone, or at a park. You need this time to collect.

Answer 3

Some times we just have to learn to say NO. The community, I am sure you are interested, but you don't have to be involved, I am sure they would understand. The church, just attendance should be enough right now and I know they would understand that too, Your friends can still be friends, but don't take on their problems and responsibilities, just be friends. You are taking on too much for just you and keep you school and job and home and son, and health. Lord that is enough. those are your major priorities, besides staying with God.====

Answer 4

sounds kinda like me except im still in middle skool. my top priorities are my family, friends, skool, sport teams that i have been on, and many other things. so i no what u are going through kinda

Answer 5

you sound just like me...