What 2 do with behavioral problems?

Question

My son is suspended from school because he has behavioral problems on and off. He's only seven. When I ask them how did it start, they couldn't give me a definite answer. All they would say is that he missbehaved and he's suspended. The principal said he's suspended and won't be able to return until he has an appointment with a psyhiatrist. I don't have medical coverage and they're really expensive. I can't afford a psyhiatrist. How is he suppose to go back to school?

I already taken away his privileges, but I don't know if it's enough. I'm thinking about home schooling or transfering him to another school because he says he doesn't like the school.

Answer 1

Transfering him to another school seem to be the only solution at the moment but... you should understand what are the problems that the child has. Does he behave normally at home? Do you have a good relationship with him? Kids can be really difficult when they feel we don't love them!

Answer 2

I would advise you to make an appointment to speak with his teacher. Certainly she can give you specific details of times and ways he misbehaved. Ask her what seemed to cause him to act out and ask her to tell you specifically HOW he acted out, what he did. I would insist on being given lots of specifics. Surely the school has a counselor and before taking the child to a psychiatrist, the counselor should be working with the teacher and talking to the child. I don't think the principal can suspend the child with the stipulation that he must see a psychiatrist before returning. That's far too severe for a seven year old. Does the child have inappropriate behaviors at home? Does the child have a learning disability? Have you had problems with the child in the past? Does the child need to be in a special class for children with developmental issues? These are all things that need to be addressed. I'm not sure taking away the child's privileges is even appropriate. Something is causing the behavior problem. First of all find out what the cause is; then you can develop a plan to correct the behaviors appropriately. I would not, at this point, put the child in another school or begin homeschooling. Perhaps the child needs to learn social skills. If you don't get cooperation from the teacher and/or principal, take the issue to the superintendent. Be polite but firm until you get help from the school system. They work for the community; our taxes pay them to help solve such problems.

Answer 3

I know the feeling. I'm going through the same thing with my son. He is 8. Meeting after meeting and suspensions. The principal keeps telling me I need to take my son to a psychiatrist. I was encouraged by the doctor and school to give him medication. I did for a while but the side effects were horrible and my son was a zombie, so I stopped giving it to him. Those medications are in the same drug classification as Morphine. They are considered controlled substances. I don't have insurance either so he hasn't been seen at all. His school keeps telling me over and over that he needs counseling and medication. The thing is now schools have a very low tolerance for "misbehaving" children. They are immediately labeled "problematic" and want you to take them to psychiatrist and give them medications. You need to tell the school that you will not do anything until they give you a clear answer as to what your son has been doing, tell them you have no insurance and for them to help you find low cost or free services. Don't just ask, demand it. I had to to that with them too. Continue discipline at home and ask the school to help you with some behavior modification too. If they refuse to help you with this, then maybe changing schools might be beneficial. If this school won't help you, another school probably will.

Answer 4

My daycare has pulled this with my 4 year old. They constantly call me to tell me that she's being bad and threatened to expell her. When I ask WHAT she has done and HOW they have gone about rewards/punishments, they tell me that vague response "She's misbehaving". They never give me details and say that they can only use time-out which doesn't work with her.

Seems to me that both of us are in a situation where the faculty do not know how to deal well with children, maybe they have never had a behavioral management class. It might be time for homeschooling. Look around your area, I'm sure there are plenty of resources for alternative schooling options, including home-school. And as the previous poster said, please do not turn to medications unless it is absolutely positively necessary to control a life threatening behavior or condition...a lot of behavioral problems can easily be solved by very consistent and customized behavioral plans.

Check with your school to see if they can get you in touch with some behavioral specalists, since you cannot afford a psychatrist. Schools should have a wealth of resources like this available to parents, usually free of charge.

BTW, I like singlemom's answer too. That would be the best first step before going immediately to homeschooling. See if you can work with them, but this is going to take some work from BOTH sides.

Answer 5

The person who said to think twice about medications is right!!!!

Other than that, i'd talk to the counselor at his school & see if they can refer you to somewhere you can get the counseling for free.

If they can't tell you what he's doing, then I don't see why he should be suspended......

but it sounds like he needs some discipline. You have already taken away his privileges but what about good old-fashioned spanking (not beating). It works, highly effective. It is immediate negative reinforcement. It's Biblical. And there is nothing wrong with it. Some of our society is so against it but that's probably why, as a society, we have no discipline.

I definitely wouldn't recommend home-schooling. He is already having a hard time socially. Putting him in homeschool could make him so much worse.

While it is not good to run away from our problems......maybe a fresh start at antoher school is not so bad! he might be labeled at his current school.

Answer 6

It might not be autism. You should definitely get him evaluated. My son has always been difficult too. He has screaming fits that last up to 4 hours daily- sometimes multiple times. He is non-verbal though so I guess that is partly why. He's never slept well or eaten well. These days, he sleeps about 5 hours a night, finally sleeping around midnight, getting up at about 2am and screaming, and falling asleep again around 4am and sleeping until 7am. It's horrible. My son portrays a lot of other signs of autism too though, which you do not mention. Like he is obsessed with one train only, that he likes to spin the wheels on, he runs into traffic, flaps his hands, ignores all human beings, avoids eye contact, and other things. He was just diagnosed with autism a few months ago and he turned 4 last month. The waiting lists for autism services are incredibly long, so I suggest you get on this ASAP so you are on the lists ASAP. So far, he receives 4 hours of ABA (standard autism therapy) a week, which is not a lot, and he's been getting 1 hour of speech therapy a week since he was 2 (with no improvement). I am hoping his occupational therapist will help with his sleeping and eating. We're expecting to get her by February, so that'll be good. The "autism diet" is gluten-free, casein-free. My son's been on that for 7 months now and so far no improvement. It's based on the vaccines/environmental toxin theory which has been debunked by scientists, however is still kept alive by a playboy model by the name of Jenny McCarthy so it's not that surprising that it hasn't worked for us, although we're still doing it on the off chance it will work.

Answer 7

Write a letter to the school (written things cannot be ignored) and ask for a meeting with teacher and principal. Find out exactly what he's doing, and how it's harmful.

If it sounds like he it truly having problems, request they do an evaluation, at the minimum with the school's psychologist. They can implement a behavioral plan for him.

It could be that he really does hate this school, and knows that if he does AB&C, he'll get sent home, and nothing you do to him is worse than whatever it is he's going through.

Because of his age, I would still have him evaluated.

Answer 8

Sometimes schools just don't want to deal with a child. You could try having him do push ups when he does things he's not supposed to. It works very well. There is a reason he doesn't like the school and is always in trouble. Is he bored??? Do they not challenge him? Is he getting challenged too much where he doesn't quite understand what they are studying so he is acting out because of it? You need to get to the root of the problem behind your son's actions. Talk to him and tell him he's not in trouble but the 2 of you need to talk and try to figure out how to fix the problem. You know I worked at the school where my kids went and I literally dodged my son's teacher everyday because she was always telling me how my son was in trouble. He was a straight A student and always in trouble??? He was bored so I pulled him out and he got so much better.

Good luck to you

Answer 9

Maybe something is going on at school (eg, bullying) and he has responded by misbehaiving in class/school? Kids don't have the ability to change their cicumstances as their lives are controlled by us. By misbehaiving he knows that you will have to change his school or he just won't have to go anymore. Especially if he is well behaived at home.
I can only suggest that if the school thinks he needs to see a pyschiatrist then ask the school if they can do it through the education system. Surely the educational system provides facilities for parents who are going through the same problems as you.
If they don't, go and see your member of government for help. That is what they are there for. Tell him/her it is important that your child goes to school and you can't afford for him to see a psychiatrist and is there any help they can provide you with.
other then that i can only wish you goodluck, i hope you get the help you need and your son can go back to school.

Answer 10

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child.
enough said!