Please Help... BOYFRIEND MOVING AWAY??? (Adults Only Please)?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months. He's 22 and I'm 21. We spend so much time together, we trust each other, we are loyal to each other, and above all, we communicate with one another. We are not intimate with one another, because im waiting for marriage, which he's okay with.

The problem is, he plans to move 2 hours away to another city to get a better job. We haven't been away from each other ever since we started dating. (I live at home w/my mom, and he lives w/his parents.) I don't know how to take this.. It's just hard for me.. He wants my blessing, but I don't want him to live.. He made up his mind.. he is leaving. Please help, any idea how I can handle him leaving to another city? Do long distance relationship workout?

Any advice given will be appreciated.. Thank you & God Bless!

sorry.. i meant to say: he wants my blessing, but i don't want him to leave..

Answer 1

Two-hours away isn't really that far. If you care a lot about your boyfriend and your future together, you need to be supportive of his decision. He is doing this to further his career. He needs to be satisfied in his career if he is going to be happy in his future. If you're being naggy and crying about him leaving, you're going to leave him with a bad impression of how supportive you are - he will look at your behavior as being selfish. He is growing up. You should too.

Answer 2

I have just started college and moved to a city 4 hours from where my boyfriend lives. He and I have not been together for as long as you and your boyfriend, but decided that we would give a long-distance relationship a go, as we were getting on too well to end it.

What I noticed about your question was that you said you communicate with each other, which has proved one of the most important factors in maintaining our relationship. If one or the other is not happy, then we realise that we have to be grown-ups and talk about it, rather than burying our heads in the sand and ending up bitter.

As long as you trust him - which sounds to me like you do - then you have nothing to lose by trying, and potentially everything to gain. Use telephone, Skype, text messaging, e-mail, good old-fashioned letters and maybe little presents in the mail to keep things sweet and remind him he's special. Also, when you do arrange to spend time together, do something special (recreate your first/favourite date etc) so he always has happy times to remember when he's missing you!

If it's meant to be, it'll happen. I'm going through it too...
(Sorry this is such an epic!)

Answer 3

Last year my boyfriend told me he was moving to a different country. He is over 4,000 miles away from me. Through a lot of talking and discussing about how I didn't agree with him leaving, I had to let him live his dream. Now we are engaged and closer than ever. If he does not do this, he might not forgive you. We went 107 days without seeing each other and when we did, it was the most amazing week of my life. Yes, it is very hard. I am leaving in one month to go and spend over 3 weeks with him in Europe. I really think that this has brought us closer together and I can't wait to get married to him next year. So to answer your question, yes!! Plus, you are only a drive away, that's not bad at all. You will become so more independent and appreciate the time that you have with him. Good luck!

Answer 4

If you have respect and trust in this relationship then what is the problem? If this b/f is one you care for, then give him your blessing and trust in him to do what is the right thing when and if a situation comes up. The two of you are so very young yet and have a long time to learn and do new things in this life time. Don't cut him lose by your insecurities this would drive him from you if you do not trust him and put faith in this relationship. I met my wife on line 3 years ago and we lived two hours from eachother. Now been married two yrs next week. So yes it can work.

Answer 5

I did a long distance relationship for 9 months before I moved across the country ro marry and be with my husband. And, now... He goes on aircraft carriers in the Navy for 6 months at a time (not including the 2 month or so debts). If ya'll love each other, you can do it. But, you will also do everything in your power to be with each other. If you don't, you may not love each other as much as you think. Anyway, it's do-able... but, you can only put up with it for so long. Try not to let jealousy or trust issues get in the way. That's the hardest part. You don't know what the hell they're up to.

Answer 6

First of all, I can understand him being homesick...fine. But if he truly wanted to be with you, he would have made it work by either staying with you or taking you with him. Did he even suggest either? You may see him every other week but who's to say he isn't seeing someone else while you're not there? It's easy to hide those secrets when you don't see each other all the time. I'd avoid phone calls for a few days and see how he reacts. If he constantly calls you and leaves messages, then maybe he'll realize the mistake he made, but if he gradually stops calling or calls less....then it means he has something else going on and he was just waiting for you to get the hint.

Answer 7

There is no better feeling in this world than being a part of a warm and loving relationship with someone that returns your offer of unconditional love, regardless of whether it is as a part of a conventional or long distance relationship. Love is, after all, what makes the world go round.



It is a universal fact that no relationship can achieve a measure of longevity without a lot of hard work and dedication from both parties involved, and that is often put to the test when partners live miles away from each other.
5 Tips To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work


1. Make plans for your future together. A long distance relationship can work, but only for a limited time. Plan a solution and take action so you can be together again.


2. Visit eachother regularly. This is very important, do it whenever you have the chance.


3. Contact eachoter daily. Use video chatting, email, skype, cell phones, letters, ...


4. Send gifts to eachother.


5. Keep a positive attitude. This is important to every aspect of life, don't give negativity a chance.

Love Can Be Hard Work
Long distance relationships require an inordinate amount of work to ensure that they survive beyond their fledgling years. One of the most common reasons cited when a relationship that pushes the boundaries of travel breaks up is that it was too hard.

It can be extremely frustrating living away from eachother, but if feelings are strong enough then it should endure until a viable solution can be agreed upon.
The Statistics
The general consensus of modern society is that long distance relationships simply do not work. However, various studies that have scrutinized relationships with physical distance and found that the statistics generally do not match this view.

There are between 2.5 and 3 million long distance marriages worldwide and another 4 to 4.5 million non-marital relationships. Don't forget that partners can be located only 100 miles away to constitute long distance.

Around 50% of military personnel conduct long distance marriages and engagements and yet society does not seem to class these as long distance relationships because they do generally work. This just goes to show that a successful, loving partnership is possible when conducted in different time zones!
The Reasons
The main reasons for having a long distance relationship are usually based around the circumstances in which a couple met or work commitments resulting in relocation.

* Couples that met on vacation in an Internet chat room or through a dating service very rarely live in the same town.
* Similarly, couples that have lived together in the past may be separated by a change in employment, military service or one individual going to college.

Breaking Down The Barriers
Any couple that has a successful long distance relationship will tell you that the key is frequent communication.

In this era of technology, there is no reason not to keep in touch:


* The Internet: chat rooms with or without video, email, online games

* Cell phones and text messages

* Snail mail letters: these can be a refreshing change. Snail mail letters are a surprise, we're not used to receiving them anymore.

* Gifts: everybody loves gifts and it gets even better when you know that they passed through the hands of your lover


Some couples have regular talk times to catch up on each other's news. They set aside an hour a day or call at a certain time and thus are still spending time together.

Regardless of how you communicate, you must always communicate effectively. Remember never to hold anything back. If you are feeling insecure then say so because it will be more detrimental to your relationship if you don't.
Qualities Required For Endurance
There are several qualities that a couple must have in order to make a long distance relationship work.

1) Trust is the first and most important quality is . If you do not fully trust each other then no relationship, no matter how much you love each other, will work. Trust is an integral part of the foundation of all lasting relationships, regardless of distance and separation. You must learn not to take that trust for granted because that may lead to betrayal.

2) Honesty is another essential quality. It is extremely easy to ignore the signs that a long distance relationship is beginning to break down but, if you are honest with each other, you can avoid the otherwise inevitable break up. Telling the whole truth, no matter how negative, will enable you both to strengthen your love and thus form a much more enduring relationship than ever before.
Conclusion
It is an acknowledged fact that a significant physical separation can make or break a relationship. However, there is no miracle solution that can make it work.

Every couple is different and needs to find their own way. Most long distance relationships are only temporarily in that state so there is always something to look forward to and they can actually generate a lot of positives. If you succeed in conducting it over a period of time then you will both learn to appreciate each other more and gain more emotional security than you ever thought possible. Just keep it all in perspective and your long distance relationship may just stand the test of time!

Answer 8

Its only 2 hours away!

Give it a try, long distance relationships are not easy but when it does work the relationships tend to be stronger.
If he is going for a better job that's good. He is setting up his life and with the distance you guys may find that you are ready to settle down together. Who knows this move could be a very good thing.

Good luck to you and yours.

Answer 9

Since you are good at communicating with each other are you planning a marriage? Wouldn't it be a good idea to start by supporting him in his attempt to start flying on his own. That way you will know if he will be a good provider. It sounds like you are in a panic, take a step back count to 30 try to see the bigger picture. You will know if this is a move so both of you grow or is he just trying to get away.

Answer 10

oh my God i am in the absolute SAME position as you are! except my boyfriend is just switching colleges in the spring..and going 4 hours away. but we are best friends and togther all the time..and by then we will be togther for over 2 years. lol and we dont have sex either

anyway yeah it really sucks. i know exactly how you feel.
these are some things we are doing:
well i think that he is probably going to give me a promise ring or something because i heard him and hios sister talking about it. and i think that that is going to make me feel better. so you could get him one maybe.
another thing is that we both have alaptop..so we are getting webcams..so that when we talk to eachother..we can see eachother too.

its gonna suck and be hard..but your relationship sounds pretty much like mine and i know it will work..plus its only two hours so it isnt HORRIBLE.

i think just talk to him alot..visit him at least every other weekend if you can. i mean it will give you something to look forward too..thats what i am going to try. it sucks but they do say distance makes the heart grow fonder. so hopefully it gets a little easier after a while.

but really your relationship sounds a lot like mine and i really have faith in ours so i think yours will be okay too : )