I was engage for 2 years now. And I still haven’t met my fiancés parents been with this guy for about 3 years.
From the first moment we met I knew he was the one and I was just so happy cause he is a great guy but we have a big issue it feels that I am living my life by his steps.
I am so ready to start a family and he just doesn’t want to. Yesterday he told me that one of the reasons he doesn’t want a bb is cause he is not sure about us then why does he want to marry me?
I been crying forever about the baby situation and I can’t do this no more.... I am moving out today. He says that he will be ready to have a child but to be honest I don’t think so ... I am 25 will be 26 in April and want to be a young mom. I offered my life to this man but that’s how it is.
2007-11-12 02:24:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am so sorry, that is terrible. But honestly, it is better to find out now before you marry him and years go by, only to find this out. I know it hurts now, I have truly been through something similar, but you will get through it and you will find someone that meets your needs and wants the same things as you. Something similar happened to me a few years back and after a year of healing and two years together, we are getting engaged this Christmas. Good luck to you. Be strong.
2007-11-12 02:28:57 · answer #1 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope that you are feeling better soon. He obviously is not ready for any commitments with you. I know you are engaged, but maybe he felt like he was "supposed to" do that? A friend of mine just got married in June. She forced an engagement out of him (i.e. Get me a ring by month's end, or, I'm leaving.) Well, two months after the wedding, they are divorced (annulled) and she is moving out. I guess the moral of this little story is good thing you are finding out now, instead of after you get married and want kids. What if you married him and he would not give you the children you want? I know it is hard when that biological clock is ticking away, but you want to have kids with the right guy who will make you feel solid about the relationship. I am 30 years old, still no kids (engaged), but probably won't be a mother for like 3-4 more years because of school. You want to bring kids into a stable and supportive home. Good luck to you. You never know.... he may realize all of this after he's had some time to think. Hugs to you.
2007-11-12 02:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by jessiekarma 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, not meeting your fiance's family is a serious thing.
Even more so is this selfish need to satisfy YOUR presumed need to reproduce. And it's NOT a good way to start a marriage. You're being childish yourself and selfish. What a terrible thing to do to a man - or a baby!
But I suppose if you absolutely MUST reproduce - then I guess that this man isn't for you. Good thing you found out now - rather than later.
And crying about it won't make him come around. He'll just feel like you forced him into a marriage and fatherhood before HE was ready - which is quite true. Again, selfish.
You're doing the right thing breaking up with him. But remember, make it stick. You're leaving him- stay gone.
2007-11-12 02:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he says he is not sure about the two of you???? you are doing the right thing by moving out.. how can he put a ring on your finger and then tell you that he is not sure? even besides the baby thing.. do not marry him if he is not sure.. people take marriage so lightly these days.. a vow is a vow.. do not even think of divorce as an option.. especially if you are planning on having kids.. please honey do not have a child with him.. you should feel blessed that you havent already.. good thing you didnt get married sooner.. even if her does want to have a baby now, are you positive that you want to bring a baby into this world where his/her father isnt positive that he wants to with his/her mother??? i mean i had a baby and am not with the father anymore.. and it is really rough honey.. not being a single mom.. but i mean rough for the baby.. he is now 6 years old and he is going through so much not having his father living with him.
please email me if you need to talk more personally.. i am sorry you are going through this!
2007-11-12 02:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by Tiff Tiff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saying sorry will no more help you than the situation that you fell into, i wll however say that you are a strong, bold, brave and even witha broken heart have my prayers that you will meet someone, for you see love never fails and yo are neither too yuong or old to ever fal in love again or get married, somtimes life is not planned you could meet your knight inshining armor tomorrow and get married in a months times, but in life such things happen liek the one you are delaing with... stay strong and get out now rather than stick around for him to make the excses of how he wants to change this and that now snce you are leaving....besides if he wanted to marry you he;'s do it not waitthis long!
2007-11-12 02:37:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gees, see the light before it's too late, and move on.
Do you realize you could have hundreds of guys to interview if you just ran a few, mostly free, personal ads? Put 3 or 4 or 20 ads on Craigslist today and you'll soon forget about this guy.
2007-11-12 02:34:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you guys want the same things.
A baby is major and if he does not want a child, it may be best that you not get married. That is a huge dealbreaker.
Sounds like you're on the right path considering he says he's not even sure about you guys as a couple.
2007-11-12 02:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious that he's put a lot of conditions on this relationship and you've accommodated them so far. If he's questioning the relationship enduring then you shouldn't be engaged. The absence of you having contact with his family is also concerning because it makes me wonder what he is hiding or what the concern is he has with you meeting them.
It may really be time to go ahead and move out to give yourself some time and room to breath, think and make some decisions regarding what is best for you and not focusing on your relationship.
2007-11-12 02:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by That NC Girl 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Its sounds like you are very hurt by his actions. It sounds like he is giving you mixed messages about how he feels about you. By moving out, maybe you will show him that you are serious in wanting a family and he doesnt agree to this then you wont have him back. At least you find out now rather then when you do marry him that he doesnt want kids.
2007-11-12 03:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't met his parents and he doesn't want kids because he is not sure bout you ? I'd say bounce out on him if he is serious about you he will jump through a few hoops to get you back and if he doesn't then your better off without him
2007-11-12 02:31:54 · answer #10 · answered by jrzyprnces 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋