so me and this guy stopped dating now for like 2 weeks. he sayed he needed some time, so i backed of gave him some time, but we still kinda texted and talked on the phone every now and than, and kinda meet up sometimes. but everytime we meet up we have sex. lately hes been really nice like we are dating again. but i dont wanna jump to concusions since he said he needed time. but than i keep thinking well maybe we will start dating again and be how we we're. i do ask him all the time after and when we are doing it, he says he swears he aint using me but how do i know that. please help on what i should do i really wanna be w/ him and i dont wanna loose him?
2007-11-12 02:20:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The bottom line is, he likes you but he wants to keep things casual (right now) between you...nothing heavy (like before) and he likes having sex with you. And as long as you're willing to put out...he's going to keep taking it.
When you see him next, force him to take you out to dinner and a movie without any strings attached. See how that works out.
Remember, you're not for sale...if he wants to see you, it's because he accepts all the strange and wonderful parts of you. Not just the fact that the sex is great.
Good Luck!
2007-11-12 02:32:38 · answer #1 · answered by slash.hunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen first of all, a person is not going to tell you that they are using you for sex!!! if he needed space and that is what you gave him, cool no problem. it is good that you still communicate with each other. what you need to do is stop giving in everytime that you're together, it just give him the opportuntiy to get it everytime. you're right don't jump to conclusions because of just 2 weeks and he is being nice.what you need to ask him is where is this relationship going with the 2 of you, if he needed space then that is what he have, sometimes people do need space from each other for a while to make things better. just be sure that you feel what he is saying, pay attention that it is not just the freedom to do and see other people at the same time and still have you sitting there waiting on him to get it together.
2007-11-12 02:32:24 · answer #2 · answered by really loved 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation with this guy for a few months. It started off great where we were actually "dating" but then it seemed like it turned into more of a friends with benefits type of arrangement. I finally cut him off. I told him I couldn't do it anymore until I felt there was "more" to our relationship. We didn't talk for a while after that so I decided that I was right about him using me. After a little time passed, we started hanging out as "friends" which turned into him asking me out on "dates". Of course we eventually started having sex again, but now we are actually dating. If a guy knows he can have sex with you without bothering to make the effort to take you out and get to know you, then he probably won't bother dating you. Make him work for you!
2007-11-12 02:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by elaine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're allowing him to have it both ways. He can be with you, have sex with you, and not be "tied down" by officially dating you. Since he is not being deceptive about a dating relationship with you , and since you clearly cooperate in this arrangement, I don't think "using you" is the right language. Instead, I would say you are allowing yourself to be walked on. You obviously don't feel comfortable with what's been happening, so why not take a stand and say "if we are just friends, there will be no more sex." Show some self respect.
You say you don't want to lose him, but you can't force him to want to date you. Offering him sex without commitment is NOT going to bring him around. After all, from his point of view, what incentive is there to change things?
2007-11-12 02:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by Michael M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks to me hes using you for long term sex. Guys do that, they keep one gal for a few years and keep them as a long term sex insurance, whilst they play the fields in the mean time.
Only guaranteed way to know that a guy is not using you for sex and really loves you is to have a sexless relationship till marriage. This centuries old tested method is the best and safest way, otherwise you're probably just a object to kill the time and satisfy his desires.
2007-11-12 02:28:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you've just described is a "friends with benefits" relationship.
Immediate stop having sex with him every time you all get together.
He said he needed time to sort things out, so let him do this without him doing you.
And for the record, you are being used. So don't believe him when he says that you're not.
2007-11-12 02:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jess, in easy terms you are able to pick that, by ability of ways he treats you at different cases, ( possibly once you're on a era as an occasion) and from that, pick no count if this dating is well worth persevering with or no longer. yet another pointer could be if he demands intercourse, even once you needless to say at the instant are not in the temper, or makes you do issues you fairly do no longer prefer to. Take care, mike t.
2016-12-08 19:33:10 · answer #7 · answered by stines 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit putting out. Most guys will be nice enough to keep you around if they know they can get laid. That is why you don't have sex until you know you are really serious and really in love. Or if you are both just wanting a "no strings" relationship. Do you really think he'll stick around if you get pregnant?
2007-11-12 02:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by bob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy has total control. If a guy can get you to have sex with him on his terms with no strings attached, it is a guys dream relationship. Because they have you when you want, but if they so happen to actually pull off a one night stand, then it isn't off limits. It is the best of both worlds. And you will never no if he is using you us less you hold out until he commits. Stay strong I know the sex is convenient, but that is what you have to do.
2007-11-12 02:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by meshell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is what you do, or what is talked about MORE THAN anything else, then you are allowing yourself to be his plaything.
He cant USE you for anything - you LET this be what the relationship is by agreeing to it. Once you set the stage for the relationship, it is VERY hard to change it. Giving a guy "dessert", before they finish or even start "dinner", is not a good idea - dinner will not be interesting enough to them.
2007-11-12 02:30:57 · answer #10 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋