What are some good strategies for raising a rational and tolerant child while staying true to my faith?

Question

Never really had to think about that before... :O

Heh, there will be no 'fundie' parenting... You got my promise there!

Oh - I'm a christian but as such I do not hold traditional views as many already know. I am all for teaching them about my faith in God and all but I need to teach that others deserve respect as they believe in whatever it is as strongly as I believe in mine.

I was not raised this way but I want to raise mine in this way.

Answer 1

Be the person you want your child to become.

Answer 2

That is a tough one.

I try to be honest in all things. I tell them the truth, while still trying to protect them from the harsh realities of this world.

Everytime they ask a question, I try to reason it through with them as well. This is a bit frustrating for them, but it does instill a good sense of how to think.

For instance, they came home from my dad's house worried because he told them that the world was getting worse and worse and that God would be returning one day to destroy it, and take the good people away up to heaven. Obviously he is very religious and believes in Christianity with all his heart.

My kids were very worried that the world was falling apart and that things were going to be horrific, when they got to be 'as old as you, dad'. I spend the better part of two hours reasoning through this belief system with them.

I asked them why Christians believed that the world was worse today than it was 200 years ago? The answer lies in the bible, it states that the world will continue to get worse and worse and morals and society will degrade into chaos.

I then asked them if humans were better or worse off today than 200 years ago. They thought through it, and said that although life might have been slower 200 years ago, it was much harsher and life was much tougher. They figured out that invention and science has actually made life ALLOT better for mankind over the past 200 years, and would all prefer to be alive today rather then back then.

So in reality human existence is getting better, the only places it is remaining the same, are in highly religious and supersticious countries.

My kids were able to reason that my Dad's belief that the world was going to be a terrible place to live in when they were older was, in fact, not as likely as prophesied.

This is a great thing, because now they have a reason to get a good education and learn about life around them, rather than waiting for an inevitable degradation of society. They can now be beneficial participants in the human race.

Answer 3

The best wasy to do that is to make certaint hat they have good, positive interactions with people of different faiths, and that they have the opportunity to learn and understand about faiths different from the one they are being raised in. It will give them a perspective on such things that will help to keep them from becoming intolerant and aggressive towards other belief systems and give them an overall greater understanding of the world they live in and the various people they may encounter in their lives.

Answer 4

Teach the child how to make decisions instead of laying down the law! Look for "teachable moments"...situations when the child sees or hears or even does something irrational or intolerant...or just something new...and instead of telling the child what to think, ask the child to tell you what he is thinking. Then you can gently guide the child toward a decision that's consistent with your faith.

I don't always practice this...sometimes it is just easier to lay down the law with a disobedient child LOL. But several teachers and other people have commented on how rational and tolerant my child is and I believe that's because I taught him how to make decisions instead of teaching him a set of rules to follow that aleviate his responsibility for making choices. I also let him suffer the consequences of his choices (within reason of course). ...and my son has a stronger grasp of what it means to be a Christian than some of the adults I know.

For example, my son came home from school a while back talking about a girl in his class who picked her nose...he said she was "gross" and that he and the others made fun of her. Instead of agreeing with him that nose-picking is gross (as I've heard other parents do), I asked him if he had any bad habits that others might consider gross. With very little prompting he came up with three things he does that someone might consider nasty (for one, not washing his hands after using the restroom!). I asked him how he would feel if other kids started calling him gross and making fun of him for one of his bad habits. He said he wouldn't like it and, again, largely on his own, came up with the idea that just because a person has a bad habit doesn't mean it is ok to hurt his or her feelings. He has mentioned this girl since (she appears to have several unpleasant habits) but he has stopped labeling her and instead approaches it from the perspective of trying to understand why she does those things. That's good enough for me!

Answer 5

When my children were growing up I was a Christian, but I never forced what I believed on them. I did not want them to be a by product of my faith at the time. I did however teach them to respect adults, that people of all color were human, to help those in true need if they could, to not pass judgment on others and that no matter what they chose in life they were going to have to work hard to get it, I loved them and allowed them to pursue their own path, I never forced them to church and today I am a non believer, I have a daughter who is a Christian, one who is Wiccan and son who is an atheist and I love them all and we have a very close relationship

Answer 6

If your faith teaches that everyone else of other faiths are wrong and going to spend an eternity in hell the you're not raising a rational and tolerant child while raising him/her in your faith.

Answer 7

i do no longer know with regard to the Muslim faith, yet interior the Catholic faith you should conform to advance your toddlers Catholic to get married interior the church. i assume in case you compromise to have an valid Muslim wedding ceremony there must be some expectation which you're agreeing to advance the youngsters as Muslims. it is an expectation you should debate with your buddy. I even have been in a reliable, faith-based for over 20 years and this is the glue that keeps us jointly by using good circumstances and undesirable. in case you and the female you ultimately marry are actually not on the same web site approximately faith, you would be in difficulty down-the-line. despite the fact that in case you may tolerate her religious ideals, I assure issues will upward thrust up once you have toddlers and you may not agree on what to coach them.

Answer 8

First, understand that they're children. They're not equipped to make decisions about their spiritual lives until a much later age. The question then becomes, How do you want your children to grow up? What do you want them to become? As a parent, your influence is the primary one. Are you a rational and tolerant person?

Answer 9

It's hard to say since you didn't provide much information about your own faith and beliefs. You need to be the role model nonetheless and show your child how to be rational and tolerant, you cannot just teach it and preach it. You need to do it - go with the saying, "Do as I do" rather than "Do as I say."

Good luck.

Answer 10

Patience IS a virtue!

Always level with your kids....if they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to know. Perhaps not every detail needs to be in every answer, but an honest answer about how things are and work will take you far with your child's trust in you.

Answer 11

I face that every day. Honestly, I simply stress that everyone has thier own beliefs and this is what mommy believes. She isn't old enough to BELIEVE anything yet, but she is old enough to learn. So I teach. :)