telling my dad (im afraid to hurt him)?

Question

ok last year i lived with my mom and we were going through a hard time so i moved in with my dad and he got phisical custody and now that i got a taste of how my step mom feels about me i wanna move back with my mom and i miss my mom so much and she and my step dad love me and my mom is the worlds greatist person (to me)i love her with all my heart but the hard thing is im am the kinda girl who is always afraid to do what i want because i dont want to hurt anyones feelings and i am so afraid to ask my dad and he knows how i feel about my step mom he just doesnt know i love my mom he thinks that i hate her and i dont
what should i do plz help me!!!!!!

Answer 1

Tell your dad you miss your mom and would like to spend time with her. I'm sure he will understand.

Answer 2

it's a problem that you feel uncomfortable telling your dad that you love your mom. Even though he doesn't love your mom (thus the divorce) he NEEDS to encourage YOUR love for your mom. It sounds like he isn't doing this because you haven't felt comfortable admitting that you do still love your mom. You should never be made to feel bad for still loving both parents, no matter how they feel towards each other.

But maybe at this point it isn't the time to get into all these issues. I would start by telling your dad how much you love him, but say that it's been bothering you a lot that you aren't as close to your mom as you want to be. Tell your dad that you've felt that you've gotten a chance to be really close to him as you've lived with him this last little while, but that you are worried that if you don't have some time to live with your real mom too, while you are growing up, that you'll never be able to mend that bond with her in the same way once you are out on your own as an adult. Tell him that it hurts you deeply every time you realize that you are not as close to your real mom as you want to be. Tell him that for now you want some time to work on your relationship with your mom, and you think the best way to do that is to live with her for a while. Tell him that you don't know how long this will be, and if it doesn't work out with her, it is very comforting to you to know that you are always welcome with him, and that you would consider moving back with him again.

Answer 3

Now is the time to grow up. You can not play one parent against the other, because you didn't get your own way. If you feel that strongly, then sit down and explain that you feel that your step mom doesn't really want you there and it would be better to live with your Mom. I think a meeting would be best with both parents, and their spouses present. If need be a lawyer should be there for your benifit and best interests, but that doesn't mean that things will go the way you want. There must have been a reason for the court to rule the way they did. Sometimes we chose the fate of our well being, and not always for the best.

Answer 4

There is nothing worse for a parent than thinking that their child hates them. Explain to your dad that you love them BOTH. If either parent talks bad about the other, stop them dead in their tracks and tell them that you don't want to be brought into an argument that is between them. The relationship between the parents has NOTHING to do with each parent's relationship with their child.

You need to be honest with your dad. Don't just nod in agreement when he says something bad about your mother. Tell him that even though she might be a pain in the butt to him, she is still your mother and you love her. He can't hold that against you. The same goes for your mother talking bad about your father.

Be aware that you can't go changing homes every time you get into a fight with your 'steps' because those fights are going to happen no matter which family you are with.

Answer 5

Hunni I know just how you feel! I lived at my dads for 14 years before I left. I put up with more than one "evil" stepmother. Because I didn't want to hurt my dad by leaving him. But you know what? When I finally left, it was hard and emotional, but my dad knew what was going on, and it was his choice to stay with these women.
And by the time I did leave, I went from good little girl to a "bad a**" because of all I dealt with. Don't let this happen to you. It will hurt to leave, but in the end much more painful to stay, and your Dad is an adult, he will understand and not think anything bad of you, ok?

Answer 6

Your kind heart needs to be fair to yourself . Since you have the share to be with who. As parent,they do want you to be happy. What ever your feeling towards your step mom,you should be firm with your decision,not run here and there. They will confused to understand why. You should try to respect your step mom as you respect your step dad. 1st try to gain relationship with your step mom,so your dad will feel that you are leaving with right reason for missing your mom.
2nd if your 1st reason failed,be honest to your dad.The truth is always painful. But if you put it nice and simple words for your dad to understand the situation better.
3rd if 1st & 2nd ,failed you. YOu must be strong to face the fact that life not always straight,You keep calm and respectful repeat gently and be firm to your decision.
Enclosed,tell your dad that you always love him and will devide your time with him too.
Your dad just don't want to loose you or let you sad.
Afraid is self prison that cause you to hold back your happiness.

Answer 7

In my opinion, the best solution is talking with your dad,tell him that i love both you and mom ,but i think and feel , living with mom is much more comfortable for me and also for you and your wife. I can come and visit you some times and we can go out.
this way you don't hurt him and you tell the truth.
good luck

Answer 8

Apparently you are also the kind of girl who likes to jerk people's emotions around. As you found out, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Sit down with your dad, tell him how you feel and ask him to help you find a solution. Are you sure your stepmom just doesn't have your number and that's why you don't like her?

Answer 9

The easiest way is just to plead that you miss your friends. My stepdaughter just went thru this -- she and I can't stand each other but she didn't want to hurt her dad's feelings about wanting to move back to her mom's.

Answer 10

Be clear that you can't get along with your step mother, and it isn't his fault or anything of that sort.After all, he is your dad no matter what.