Is it appropriate to ask a pregnant woman if you can rub/touch her stomach in public?

Question

Everytime a pregnant woman strikes up a conversation with me, while I'm out doing errands, of course her pregnancy drifts in the conversation. I always ask the expected mother if she minds if I touch her stomach. Not one mother has ever decline, but I'm wondering if I am being inappropriate. Am I?

P.S. I never lift up their blouses/shirts, etc...

I'm not offended. I want honest answers and many of you are doing just that. Every pregnant woman is different and have different opinions when it comes to the rub/touch tummy...This is why I asked the question...

Tmarie99: You really have some serious mental issues. I suggest you seek help. It is ok to express your opinion but personal attacks are never acceptable.

Answer 1

The joy of rubbing an expectant mom's belly is not to get "familiar" with her, but to sense the life to come. It is always proper to ask first, since there are a lot of sensitive or paranoid moms out there. To be fair to them, you should ask.

I always touch the top of a child's head to show love to the child while talking to the parent. This shows gentleness and love and let's the child feel a positive connection between you. When gently touching the belly of a future mom, you are doing much the same...showing love and gentleness toward the child that they "will" bear.

It is not a "free feel" since it is non-sexual, it is an act of compassion and love for the child, that's all!

Answer 2

It's somewhat impolite, from my point of view. I never really considered it much until my sister-in-law was pregnant, she complained of the number of people who asked, and said she never felt as though she could turn them down, although she would have liked to. For that reason, even though I knew her fairly well, I never asked personally during her delivery to touch her stomach, because I never quite knew how she would feel about me doing it, or whether she'd allow it just to be polite. I wouldn't ask unless I knew the mother VERY well, and probably wouldn't ask in public at all, as it seems that some people will just ask absolutely ANYONE, regardless of whether they know the mother or not, and seeing someone else doing it might spur others on. My sister-in-law's reaction to her pregnancy really changed my ideas about this. Many of my friends and other women I've known very well who were completely comfortable with sharing the miracle of the baby growing inside them actually would be the first to offer, also, though, by making a comment such as how active the baby is that day, and asking if I'd like to feel.

Answer 3

Each pregnant woman is different.
When you are having the conversation and
you ask to touch their belly that is fine.
If the woman is uncomfortable she will
most likely decline when asked. If you
sense that she is hesitant then do not
touch because she may not want you to
but still says yes.
With both my pregnancies I did not like it
when a stranger would come up to me and
just start touching my belly. When a stranger
would ask me to touch my belly if I did not
mind at the moment fine but if I was not
comfortable about the person (their appearance
or approach to me) I would decline.
My opinion touch is between people that
know each other and when with strangers
permission needs to be granted.
You are doing the right thing by asking.

Answer 4

Think about it this way... would you go up to a non-pregnant stranger in public and ask her if you could touch her stomach?

Personally I think it's a little unusual to touch the belly of a stranger. But I think it's great that you ask instead of just reaching out like so many people do. If you ask and they say it's okay, go ahead.

Answer 5

I think it is innapropriate to ask someone that you are not very close to. If she were not pregnant would you ask to rub her belly? Why is it suddenly ok just because she has a baby in there? Frankly I think it is kind of weird. Most women probably don't say no because they don't want to appear rude or snobish. It puts them in a very awkward position so I would stop asking unless it is your best friend, and then only in a more private setting.

Answer 6

I agree with Rob! I wouldn't want any stranger to touch me, even after asking... and I would feel a bit awkward when a stranger did ask, thank god I'm not too shy anymore so I'd just say 'no' or even 'NO WAY!' but I'm sure there are women who're afraid to say no or appear rude and who'll say yes while really they'd much rather refuse. If you wouldn't touch her when she wasn't pregnant, don't ask to touch her at all.

Answer 7

Not to sound rude, but just to answer your question honestly, I am a pregnant woman, on my second pregnancy. And while I am happy to talk about my children with strangers, I personally wouldn't want a stranger touching my belly. I understand the interest in the innocent child inside, but still find it a bit awkward. I try to liken it to my not going up to a bald man and rubbing his head just because it looks nice and shiny. I love bald men and find them very attractive. But I'm not going to rub their heads. Sorry - hope I don't offend.

Answer 8

As long as you ask if you can touch, then I don't see anything wrong with it. It is when people touch without asking, then that would be offensive. If a woman does decline then just say, " I understand ". During both of my pregnancies, I was asked and, I didn't mind but, when a stranger would touch without asking , that did bother me. It showed a lack of respect, courtesy. I hope this answers your question.

Answer 9

Is it appropriate for that woman to ask to touch your breasts?
Is it appropriate for you to ask a man if you can touch his crotch?
Is it appropriate to just squat and pee in the middle of the mall?

NO! Keep your hands to yourself. Being pregnant does not make her a freak show or a toy. You should respect her space and not ask. I hated every single weirdo like you that thought that because I was pregnant it gave you some privilege to ask or do inappropriate things.
I actually decked a woman for walking up, while I was standing in line at a register, and rubbing my stomach. She'll think twice before she puts her hands on a stranger again.

**Honey, I am not the one asking strange women if I can touch their bodies. That is YOU. Perhaps you should learn the appropriate "good touch/bad touch" lessons taught in most kindergarten classes.
It is WRONG to ask a stranger if you can touch their body.

Answer 10

At least you asked....I have had three pregnancies and I have to be honest with you and say I hated people touching my belly....I didn't mind my husband and children doing this, but not anyone else....they don't rub/touch my stomach any other time, and I didn't want them to do it then either.