Well, the story goes as follows:
I've been seeing this girl now for 11 months (a year on 10 Dec) and our relationship is incredible. We don't argue, we don't fight. It's truely unique.
However, 2 months into the relationship, she told me that she had slept with a guy a long time ago (in school) but he had been a bully and she only did it in an attempt to get him to stop bullying her. Lately (this is 8 years later), she's been having problems with her periods etc, etc. She went to the doctors and found out that she didnt get any STDs from this one-night-stand.
Me & her have never had sex in the 11 months that we've been 2gether because she doesnt want to because of what happened to her in the past (the shaggin the bully thing).
Recently, i approached the guy who she says she had sex with and asked him about it. He denies the whole thing. He says that they were friends and she used to like him, but denies having sex with her... (see below for additional info - mite take a while)
2007-11-12 00:42:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
However, upon repeatedly asking him if he did it, his story has changed a little, from "we were friends, she used to like me" to "she never really liked me" and "i didnt make her life easy, but i didnt bully her"...
However, he also went into this whole speech about how he lost his virginity at age 16 etc, etc. To me, it did actually sound quite believable...
Now, it seems a little obvious from what i've written here that he did have sex with her... but it's not that simple. The 2 arguments i have going on in my head are:
1) If he didnt do it, why has his story changed?
2) Is he telling the truth and she just tells me this because she just doesn't want sex or she's seeing someone else, etc, etc...
Please help me out here... which do you think i should believe?
Thanks,
Matt
2007-11-12 00:49:04 · update #1
If you should have to question who to believe than you obviously dont trust your girlfriend enough to be with her.
2007-11-12 00:46:49 · answer #1 · answered by HJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This all happened 8 years ago?
let it go. If she developed an STD from doing the guy it would have shown up way before now. Irregular periods are very normal. If she wants to fix that she should go to the doctor and ask about birth control.
As far as this "bully" goes, i m sure he doesn't care, or just doesn't remeber. Lots of people that one night stands and don't rememebr them the next day.. it's called alcohol.
I m sure this guy that you approached probably thinks that it's kind of strange that you are now bringing this up... people sleep around, unless he raped her, let it go and move on with your life.
2007-11-12 08:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you haven't had sex with her, it's no wonder you don't argue yet. While on one hand, sex can be no big thing, if you're already not trusting her by going behind her back to check out her story, sex is only going to compound the intensity of your mistrust.
Either trust her or move on. A relationship without trust is a
DEAD END.
2007-11-12 08:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lorenzo Steed 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just believe her! It takes a lot of trust on you and courage for her to expose the truth. With the timid guy who bullied her, she might have burried the truth comfortably.
I think you got the best partner! Enjoy. Wishes.
2007-11-12 09:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
think carefully about who you trust most or maybe yu could ask some more questions to the girl and see what happens cos if she's like looking down and touching her face then they are signs of lying, but if she was lying wuld you forgive her maye you sould think asbout that and that might help with your choice, afetr reading the 2nd bit about hwat u put i tink he's lying or why would he change his story and he wouldn't have told you all that detail if he's ot lying, hope this helps
2007-11-12 08:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its very tough now to decide. But if you think the other way the girl is honest to you. she has disclosed her past which you should respect. Trust her and see the difference.
2007-11-12 08:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well Matt...i think if you have a great relationship and she has never given you reason to think she was lying....then why would you think she was lying now......sounds to me like that guy has issues.....maybe he's afraid of telling u he slept with her....for numerous reasons....take it easy,and good luck
2007-11-12 09:04:05 · answer #7 · answered by sweetbottom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you question her loyalty off a guy you dont even no. why would you even consider the fact she lied to you if you dont no this guy from eden??????come on.........if you cared about her chose your arguments. if he was someone you new and trusted it would be different, but in reality you dont no him and you are questioning a girl you care for because of a stranger..........................makes no sense
2007-11-12 09:03:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
man, what a situation...
but anyway go and find the truth before you conclude.....really you should find the truth...
2007-11-12 08:48:18 · answer #9 · answered by loveadvicer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow
2007-11-12 08:47:39 · answer #10 · answered by V.Ster 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋