Im gonna make this as short as possible.
I am having a decorator around to paint today and my fella knows him so he is picking him up to bring him to and forth.
I got a text this morning from the girl that gives me a lift in the mornings to work to say she couldnt pick me up. I didnt read the txt until it was too late so I asked my fella what time he was going to pick up his mate for my decorating as it passes my work. he asked why so I told him I would be late for work if I had to get the bus. He didnt answer me so I asked him if he could take me and asked him again what time he was picking up the decorator and his reply was 'well it looks like I have to go now doesnt it'! I didnt like his answer so I told him to sod off and it didnt matter and i would just go for the bus. We ended up arguing and he was shouting that he takes me everywhere . He then called me a selfish b*tch. I was so stunned and im so upset. I would do anything for him too! How should I deal with this?
2007-11-11 21:08:12 · 12 answers · asked by vintage-topper 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
can I just add, he wasnt changing around his day. he told me was leaving early to collect the decorator. He has to pass my work on the way to collect the decorator and he wasnt doing me the favour collecting the decorator.
2007-11-11 22:19:26 · update #1
Do not do anything.
Take the bus and explain to your boss why you were late.
Get a painter with a car.
It sounds like you hired one of his friends to paint your apartment or home.
Quit relying on him.
Save up for a car, [it sounds like you have a fairly decent job], start a Roth IRA, and become independent.
If this is how he is going to treat you now, how in the heck is he going to treat you if you were married to him with children!!!
Would a good friend actually speak to you like that?
Relationships are based on truth, consideration, communication, common interests, and trust.
2007-11-11 21:35:39 · answer #1 · answered by dd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well upon hearing your dilemma he should have offered to take you to work since it was on the way even if it wasn't on the way. A relationship is a two way street and you have to learn to give and take. To help each other and to compromise when you need to not just take and abuse. If your fella could pick up his mate so he could do a job, then he should have been able to take you to a job without the hassle of the argument. You should not have blown up but explained to him diplomatically what happened and why you needed him to take you. Sometimes misunderstandings and arguments are caused by the tone of voice that a person uses more so then what is actually said.
The two of you should sit down and you explain how much it upset you and he might be able to explain why he reacted the way he did, remember good communication helps a relationship.
2007-11-12 05:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by bubbas mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you started it. He doesn't have to be thrilled about changing around his day. Some people can't stand that. When he said well it looks like I have to go now, doesn't it? You should have said, Yes, I am sorry that you are being inconvenienced and let it go. YOu would have gotten your ride and he might have been crabby for the ride but he would have gotten over it. Just because you would do anything for him, doesn't mean he is the same kind of person you are and that he is required to do the same for you. You were not selfish, but a little bit childish when you said to sod off and it didn't matter and you would go for the bus because you don't want him to sod off and it does matter and you didn't want to go for the bus. You are not always going to get the reaction you want in a relationship. Apologize and let him apologize. And let it go.
2007-11-12 05:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by dallas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably felt under pressure and was trying to think of what he had to get done and if he could fit it in! You maybe should have told him the sitution at first and then said that if he was busy at the time it was ok! You woud just have to be late! He probably felt that you were expecting him to drop everything just to come pick you up!
When you see him tell him that you are sorry! You didnt want him to drop everything and that you should have told him the situation! It wasnt his fault after all that your friend couldnt come! But tell him that you think its out of order to call you a selfish b*tch and that from now on you wont ask anything of him!
2007-11-12 05:32:19 · answer #4 · answered by emzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both need time to cool down so i would leave it until after work when you can talk to him face to face.
start by saying your sorry if you were being selfish this morning but that to be honest you dont really understand what you've done to upset him. maybe he's been bottling things up and not talking to you and you didnt even realise there was a problem. ask him to talk to you in the future about any problems so it doesnt all build up and end with him blowing things up and shouting at you. make it clear it is not acceptable to swear at you and call you names. stay calm and try not to repond with mud slinging and keep repeating that you love him and you want to work through things.
hope this helps good luck and try not to spend all day brooding over the problem!
2007-11-12 05:16:54 · answer #5 · answered by Empress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like neither of you are morning people.
He's a bit on the harsh side though. It shouldn't have been a problem for him to give you a lift to work. I do that sort of stuff for my missus all the thime.
I don't know how you'd deal with him. I'd say let him make his own tea for a month, but if he's like me he makes the meals anyway.
Whatever it is you do for him then stop doing it until he apologises.
2007-11-12 05:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by Nexus6 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
stroppy b*****d. i would talk to him tonight and find out what his comment meant, he will probably say it was an off the cuff remark but it sounds like he's not happy about something, you need to know what it is before it decays the core of you're relationship so you can do something about it hopefully.
it sounds to me as if there is a lot of resentment towards you not having you're own transport. the more you let it ly, the more it will build up and the more you will argue about it.
you need to get it out in the open and find out whats niggling him.
2007-11-12 05:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by *mental*MooCow* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want? a quote or an estimate? As for the other problem, fotget it, You were both a bit toichy, It will all be forgotten by tonight Have a couple of kisses xxxxxxx
2007-11-12 05:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
gee,is your man having a bad day or what! there was no need for him to treat you in such a way,was very uncalled for,you'd have to ask him why he blew off at you like that and hope for a sincere answer......
2007-11-12 05:16:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Typical woman.
Don't ask him what time he is going to pick up his decorator mate. If he'd have said 11:30am would that have helped you?
If you want a lift to work, ASK FOR A LIFT TO WORK. If you want to go now ASK TO GO NOW.
It's that simple.
Thumbs down me, I don't care.
2007-11-12 05:14:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋