How can we rekindle our fire?

Question

I've been married for 2 years and I feel like my husband and I are growing apart. I ask him to hug me when we're in bed and he just rolls over and faces the wall and tells me he's too tired. Sometimes when I ask him a question he'll tell me I'm stupid for asking such a dumb question. Sometimes he'll just blow up over any little thing. I kind of feel like his child instead of his wife? We never used to be this way, we used to have a very sweet and loving relationship. Help me, what can I do?

Answer 1

These are some of the toughest years where you two are just starting to get used to each other...unless you lived together before. It doesn't matter if you dated forever and thought you knew each other very well. Once you start living together, everything changes. Reality hits and it hits hard.

If he doesn't want to hug you, it might just be that he's tired after a long day and doesn't want to have to worry about your physical needs beause his aren't being met. What if you guys worked out a system where you did something for him for 10 minutes that he wanted and then he would hug you for 10 minutes? I know it sounds like a business contract, but sometimes that's all it takes for you to get what you need and him to get what he needs. It would be nice if he would just roll over and hug you, but something is stopping him.

Do your best to be understanding if he's going through something. I know you have emotional needs as well, but see if you can get him to open up as to why it's so hard for him to show you affection the way you want it to be shown.

Answer 2

It may be that your husband is trying to suppress health issues such as erectile dysfunction, dealing poorly with emotional distress on the job or upset about something he is afraid to discuss with anyone at this time. If you have been keeping your body fit and you have not had any recent heated arguments with your husband over money, family or something over which you can exercise control, check for signs that he might be involved in an extramarital affair. Sometimes, men look for a way to pick arguments with their wives when they need excuses to walk away from their committments in a marriage. Also, talk to your husband during the daylight hours to get some understanding from him about his perspective on the lack of positive communication and physical intimacy problems in your marriage. Best wishes.

Answer 3

Tell him you think you both should go to marriage counseling. And if he laughs it off, sit him down and say you're not happy with the way he treats you, talk to him and tell him everything that's bothering you because you CAN tell him this. Don't let him laugh at you and think you're "overreacting and dumb", you have the right to tell him how you feel. What he's missing here is communication, and that's a very important aspect of a relationship. Ask him if there's something bothering him, tell him to open up to you again. If he still ignores you, then please realize you shouldn't waste your time, you can be treated like a queen by someone else. Someone who would truly appreciate everything about you. Life's too short.
Who knows, maybe he just needs a good waking up.

Answer 4

I have the exact same thing except it's her. I wonder why things get this way. I was a stud with many women at my feet ready to do my bidding or what ever my fancy turned toward now that I have found the one true love of my life, young, educated, beautiful, confident and yet I feel like her kid sometimes. I just try to be understanding and love her no matter what. I even feel that she may have cheated on me but life without her would not be worth living so I stay. Ten years from now I may be without her but it won't be for lack of trying. Give up and you may live to regret it stay and it may be even worse. Only you will know when the road forks and you split or follow.

Answer 5

Have you sat down and had a very serious and important conversation with him. Letting him know just how you feel and attempting to come up with a solution to the problem with him. Most women (yes I am a woman) think that men can read our minds. Men are built totally different than us, the things that we think are problems they don't view the same way. Sit him down maybe to a nice dinner and tell him what things you think need to be addressed and be completely serious with him despite how he may act. Also treat it just as important and serious as it is to you, if this is not a laughing matter do not crack a smile if he tells a joke to try to lighten the mood. Be very matter of fact and to the point and ask him what his thoughts and input is into what you have to say.

Answer 6

Just a thought have your looks changed since you married like weight gain or anything like that. Maybe if this is the issue you not as attractive to him as you once were.

If this is the case hit the gym and take him with you because I bet he has put on a few.

Have you considered that he may be cheating on you?.

Get some therapy

Answer 7

He could be worried about something. Have you tried asking him why he's treating you this way? There's really nothing else to it, you have to talk, that's what keeps a marriage going.

Men have a lot of pressure and responsibility. It can get the better of them, and make them feel tied down. Try to be a bit more understanding, and ask HIM not US what is going on.

Answer 8

You need to have a heart to heart talk with him. Ask him what is going on. Why is he treating you this way and explain to him how it is making you feel. Suggest some marriage counseling if necessary. Try and do this in a loving manner. Tell him how much you love him and explain to him that you are really concerned about his behavior with you as it is very hurtful.

Answer 9

1. Start complimenting him --thrice a day-- for what he DOES right, NOT criticise what he did wrong/ what he ought to have done right. Try being mysterious instead of asking him "Stupid questions". Use a throaty voice talking to him over the phone, and don't reveal your name! Let him run after you, crave for you,. and make him beg for sex! Make him kiss you from the toes up, to the feet, thighs, etc. Sigh hard, deep, and hot as he gets closer and closer!!
2. Give him aphrodisiacs for dinner: Almonds with milk, Oysters, dates, raisins, ox's testicles...........you know!
3. Make yourself attractive ! Go to a beauty parlour and get a make over! Wear sexy black bras and lingerie! OOO la la! Sophia Loren style!
4. Go to the Gym and start toning yourself to become like a sexy model!
5. Take the initiative in love-making. But ensure he is well-rested to make love!
6. Breathe hot down his spine, without actually massaging his back. He will be aching to get on top of you!

Try these, and then let your imagination wild!! You'll soon drive him wild ,lusting every day for you!
Come back to this forum for more ideas.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need to tell him how you feel. Marriage counseling may even help if talking doesn't do the trick. Also you could do things in the bedroom to spice things up a little.