I was raped and thats the only time I ever had sex and well, I wanted to be a virgin till I was married. I'm a senior in highschool and the only "virgin" out of all my friends because I wanted to be in love first. Can I still technically be a virgin?
2007-11-11 17:42:37 · 41 answers · asked by Ange 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Yes. I was raped when I was 15. I havn't had sex. Rape isn't about sex, it's about power and control.
I'm sorry that such a terrible thing has happened to you.
2007-11-11 17:49:33 · answer #1 · answered by ★☆✿❀ 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I think you are still a virgin. Some may believe that you physically aren't a virgin because the hymen is broken. The hymen can break from sports, strenuous activity, inserting a tampon or just falling and landing on your crotch. Rape can also break a hymen but it isn't sex. It's an act of violence. Many (if not most) little girls have broken their hymen before puberty just from physical activity alone. Should we say that athletic little girls are no longer virgins because they injured themselves in that area? I don't think anyone would believe that so how could a girl who was raped be any less a virgin then someone who has injured themselves from sports. There are many ways that the hymen can be broken but the only way to lose your virginity is from consensual sex. If you haven't willingly had sex then you're still a virgin. Technically you're a virgin.
BTW, I hope the pervert spends many, many years behind bars.
ETA: A similar question came up on another website and a few rape/incest victims responded. Their responses were just as mixed as they are here in Yahoo Answers. There was one that felt strongly that she was still a virgin after the crime was committed and the other 2 felt as if their virginity was robbed from them. The crimes against them happened many years ago. What I have learned was that is what is most important is how you feel on an emotional/mental level. What virginity means technically really isn't what's important. What is important is how you feel about your "virgin" status. That's what counts and that is what will help with your healing and recovery. From the way you wrote your question, I would think it would be best that you do consider yourself a virgin because that's how you see it on an emotional/mental level and that is what counts when you are recovering. I'm very sorry that this happened to you.
I also don't think it's a good idea to not have a debate like this in real life because the different opinions can make you angry just like I'm sure this debate online is a difficult topic for you also. At least you have your anonymity with us here on Yahoo Answers. You won't have that in real life.
2007-11-11 19:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Technically: No.
The definition of virginity does not allow you to pick and choose whether particular time 'counts' or not.
But if it means a lot to you, and you want to stretch the definition of virginity, go ahead.
At least you can say in all honesty that you have never given yourself to anyone else but your husband.
Still three remarks:
- in some cultures, this bending of the definition would not work. You would be considered filthy. (I seriously believe that those cultures need their heads checked out!)
- Some women have sex, then feel sorry afterwards, and call it rape - when in fact it was consensual sex with regret afterwards.
- I find the notion of 'giving yourself' to your husband, frankly, demeaning. I believe that the emphasis on virginity before marriage is carried too far. It does not help the position of women at all. Instead it feeds a culture in which virginity is valued so high that it affects peoples lives in unpleasant ways.
2007-11-12 00:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by mgerben 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You're a virgin until YOU decide you want to have sex. Sorry about you getting raped. I know how you feel. I was raped in January by a man around the age of 45-55. I want to cut all the guys' d*cks off that rape young girls.
Email me if you need someone to talk to ;)
2007-11-11 23:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are still a virgin. You were assualted, you did not willingly give up your virginity. I was raped too when I was 13, but until I willingly lost it to the man I love at 15, if people asked me I would say that I'm still a virgin.
2007-11-12 00:35:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh I'm so sorry to read this has happened to you. It's true that when it comes to just physical terms you would no longer be considered one, but being a virgin is something that's also, and MORE importantly, emotional and spiritual. You were not willing, so yes, yes you are a virgin.
2007-11-12 08:03:29 · answer #6 · answered by Southern Girl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can be. Sex is about love and it's beautiful and meaningful, wonderful. Losing your virginity happens when you give yourself to someone. Not when someone takes from you. Absolutely yes you are a Virgin!!! Don't let anyone try to tell you different. And good for you to wait until you're truly in love.
I hope you have a great support team and that you're working through the rape- you sound like you're moving forward if you're able to ask this question.
You're strong, brave and beautiful!!!
2007-11-11 17:56:12 · answer #7 · answered by BayleeMarie 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It is my belief a girl's virginity is lost upon her first sexual experience with another person, and then only if the sexual experience was the result of her free choice. This means, in my opinion, sexual assault and sexual abuse do not result in loss of virginity as a girl has no choice in the matter. To me, virginity is solely a state of innocence and not a state of physical fact.
2007-11-12 05:38:43 · answer #8 · answered by souldoctor 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely.
When you were raped, did anything magically change about your desire to wait until you were married to give yourself to someone? Of course not.
Virginity isn't some magic substance that gets rubbed off of you when some scumbag molests and assaults you. It's a concept, something special that you get to GIVE, not have TAKEN, once in your life to a special person. The people who are trying to convince you otherwise have a crude and false misunderstanding of what that is.
You are a virgin until YOU, and you alone, make the decision to give your virginity to someone.
2007-11-11 18:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
yes, you're only a virgin if you are not forced to have sex. If you had a choice and you chose to have sex with this person then you would not be one. it's not your fault, so you are still a virgin.
2007-11-12 03:04:07 · answer #10 · answered by Cassie 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You didn't want it. You didn't like it. Were you even concious when it was happening?
You can still call yourself a virgin. It's a great thing to do, saving yourself until marrage, and I'm sorry you had to go throguh what you did.
2007-11-12 02:00:23 · answer #11 · answered by -Liz 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋