Is it possible to divide marital property without divorce?

Question

My husband is in a codependent relationship with his brother, who has issues with gambling and substance, and who has been in and out of prison for the past 6 years. H "detached" from brother and was doing well, but now BIL is out of jail, and I learned from a credit card bill that H had rented a car for BIL for a month and a half on our insurance, using his own license. BIL has a suspended license for DUIs. If there had been an accident where there were injuries or death, we would have been liable, and insurance wouldn't have covered it. We could have lost everything -- house, assets, the works, and with three teens headed for college, it would have been disastrous. I can't believe my husband did this without consulting me, and that he did something that put the family's financial welfare at stake. I can't trust my husband anymore and would like to protect our assets. I would like to avoid divorce for the kids' sake, but is that possible in this case?

Thanks for responses so far. To respond to Frank, my H and I separated for 6 months 4 years ago over these issues. At that time, H was pulling money out of bank accounts to bail B out, and another time, pressuring me to take out a Home Equity on our home to save B's house in foreclosure. H did some therapy and recovery for his codependency because he was not "helping" but destroying himself and his own family to enable his brother, and we reconciled with H committing to stop enabling. Now, it is the same cycle over and over again. If H did not learn after a separation, how will he learn if I just sit down and have a "chat" with h im? This has all been tried before, but the pattern is continuing, and now it includes lying to me as well. There will be no college for these 3 kids if an incident like this happens again.

Answer 1

You have three teens headed for college. You are ready to get divorced. There is something definitely wrong here. You don't have three teens that are emotionally stable enough to attend college without having a relatively stable relationship.

Stop. Inhale, deeper, deeper. Now blow it out slowly.

Ok, now that we have slowed down a bit...

First, your husband is not being to bright. Sit down with him, as I am sure have done many times before, and say "My love, I love you. I love all that you have helped me to accomplish. We have wonderful children and a great home life. I do have a concern. If your brother had had an accident while driving under our insurance, we could have suffered financially and physically. Please, I don't think that it is a good idea to be providing unlicensed help to your brother. If he needs a ride, please feel free to give him one. (If you feel safe) Heck let me know, If I have time I will go."

"I know your brother has been through a lot. I am not here to pass judgement on him. As a matter of fact, it is in all of our interest to see to it that he does better and establishes a relationship with the children, when he is doing better. I want to encourage this as much as you do. What can we do to help him do better in life? What can we do to honor God and do the best we can for our fellow man? Pray with me about this sweetheart, Please?"

Studies show that equal time with both parents will make a child more likely to grow up emotionally well adjusted and healthy, and more likely to perform better in school and life.

God Bless

Frank Pytel

Side Note: Various Google searches including the quotes.

“Child Custody” : 1,800,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer : 1,680,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney : 1,460,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge : 1,260,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem : 1,250,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem -Law : 587,000 hits
“Shared Child Custody” : 1,270 hits
“Joint Child Custody” : 790 hits

http://www.true-equality.org/
http://www.deltabravo.net/
http://www.fapt.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
http://www.f4j.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=shared+child+custody
http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-O8EcRbkhYrI8Y76FID5PBDX6;_ylt=Av95cKrS2heIv727lcF0FuikAOJ3

Answer 2

No it is not possible. Avoid it for the kids sake? Why? Will it be better to let him do something like this again and for all of you to end up homeless and penniless? This man does not care about the welfare of his family. His actions affect all of you and if they do have disastrous results all of you will pay the price. Can you live with that?

Answer 3

Your in a pickle. Have you and hubby quit claim everything over to the kids. Or plant something on brother and send him off to the club.