How much time should a divorced father spend with his children, if he does not have physical custody of them?

Question

Would 24 hours every two weeks be too much?

Oh, Separated Father - I am not keeping them away, I am trying everything in my power to get him to see that they need to spend time with him too. He chooses to only spend the very minimum amount of time with them. They are 6 and 10 years old. He lives only 3 minutes away. He has the time to give them - I don't understand it.

A whole lot of you seem to think that I am keeping the kids away from their dad - NOT AT ALL. I must have worded that Q wrong.

((((((SEA-BAT))))))

(((Doug)))

Answer 1

The children need to spend equal time with both of you. The children need both of the parents. I would strongly urge you to share custody with your ex. You have given no reason for the children to be with either of you exclusively.

Studies show that children are much better emotionally adjusted, healthier and do better in school when they have equal, or substantially equal time with both parents than those children from sole custody parents. Site: John Hopkins and HHS.

I would urge you to contact your ex and explain that it is in the best interest of the child that you both spend equal time with the child. Give him my email address. My profile is public. I will gladly speak with him on your behalf. I will do anything I can to try to help the two of you do what is best for the children.

I have included a few links below that I am sure will help both you and your ex find a way to put aside your petty differences and help you work together for the sake of your child. Studies show that equal time with both parents will make a child more likely to grow up emotionally well adjusted and healthy, and more likely to perform better in school and life.

God Bless

Frank Pytel

Side Note: Various Google searches including the quotes.

“Child Custody” : 1,800,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer : 1,680,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney : 1,460,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge : 1,260,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem : 1,250,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem -Law : 587,000 hits
“Shared Child Custody” : 1,270 hits
“Joint Child Custody” : 790 hits

http://www.deltabravo.net/
http://www.fapt.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
http://www.f4j.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=shared+child+custody
http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-O8EcRbkhYrI8Y76FID5PBDX6;_ylt=Av95cKrS2heIv727lcF0FuikAOJ3

Answer 2

No, 24 hrs. every two weeks would not be too much. Any and every precious moment or hour you could spend with them would mean the world to them and be good for you. Divorce is not really about the two adults who decide to leave each other and discontinue their union for whatever reason ... it is really about the children that are left 'out-in-the-cold' and in 'the dark' emotionally, confused, and torn between the "why's-and-how-come's" and "what-could-they-have-done-
differently" to make it all work out for everyone. The children are the ones who's lives are really 'messed-up' and 'turned upside down'. You see, the adults can just start over with someone new (eventually) but the kids are left wondering why this has happened to them and feeling like they are the cause or that they are to blame.

Answer 3

I don't know if you are the father asking because that is what is being "given" to you or the mother asking because this is what you are considering. I think that is a rediculously low amount of time unless for some reason the kids aren't safe with the father. Just imagine the kids. They are used to having thier dad whenever they want and now it's going to be 24 hours every 2 weeks? Crazy. Whoever you are, give more time to your kids!

Answer 4

Why doesn't he have at least partial custody of his children? As long as he doesn't do drugs, drink while caring for his children or could potentially be sexually/emotionally/physically abusing these children, he should be allowed to spend as much time as he can with them. 24 hours every two weeks is not enough time.

Children need both parents. If your reason for keeping his children from him is because of your own personal differences, you need to step back and evaluate the situation. What is in your children's best interest?

Answer 5

As much time as possible. 24 hours every two weeks isn't enough. Kids need a relationship with both parents. Divorce fathers can never, and I repeat NEVER, spend too much time with their children. See them every other weekend and, if possible, a couple of nights a weeks. Talk to them on the phone every day. They need it. And you need it too.

Answer 6

that schedule is horrible!

i think a dinner once a week shold be added on to that. depending upon the age of the children, i'd say 4-7pm or 5-8 at least once a week. and if the children are doing well in school and their homework schedule isn't harmed by it, make it twice a week as long as the father's schedule works with them. children need their dad too.

for especially younger children such as not even in school, possibly one overnight visit every other weekend, and 3 dinner weeknights.

my two older boys have every other weekend from Friday 5pm until Sunday 7pm. alternate holidays, and one dinner weeknight.

for the children, waking up at dad's house twice for visitation is always a bonus.

Answer 7

There is never too much time to spend with your children unless for some reasons the courts believe a parent unfit. I think that if you have the time to spend with your children then take advantage of every moment. My daughters father has visitation on everyother weekend and thursday nights. If he misses her and wishes to see her more and it does not take too much of my quality time from her, then thats wonderful!

Answer 8

Coming from a father who has yet to see his kids due to a mother and her parents making his life a living hell, one day every two weeks is not unreasonable. Unless he is a drug addict or a violent criminal, it's going to be in everyone's best interest to make sure he has time with them and get's to be a part of their lives. Also consider the fact that when they get older, keeping them away from him can become something they will hold against you.

Answer 9

I had custody and raised mine, I got them back after a year and a half. But I must admit when I first left I didn't see them like I should have. It just HURT too bad, and I didn't want to make it any harder than it already was.................I still had them more than 24 hours every 2 weeks, more like 36. it just hurt too bad to leave them & I knew they could tell something was wrong.(with me!!) But that was only like the 1st 4 months or maybe even 5 mos. ...lol

Answer 10

not enough.....that is way too little time to have father child bonding. He should at minimum have the child every other weekend, but that still leaves much to be desired. I would asy that he should spend as much time as both the mother and he can schedule in.....it is for the sake of the child after all!!