My wife had an affair and she ended soon before I knew about it. What should I do?

Question

What to stay together with her but not sure if I can handell it.
Any opionios?

Answer 1

Unless you have some compelling reason not to, dump her cheatin' no-good butt at the nearest curb. So let us know if you have any compelling reasons.

Answer 2

Why does everyone automatically say divorce? Hmmm, maybe I will ask that question. Anyways, you are married, period. I know you love her or you wouldn't still be with her. I am a firm believer in commitment, but I also realize that s*** happens that we dont plan on. People are too quick to jump into divorces these days. If you ask any older couple that has been together for almost forever, like 50 years, 9 times out of 10 at some point in their relationship, at least one of them had an affair. The other knew about it, forgave them, and they worked out their problems. I'm not saying stay with her just b/c you made the commitment of marriage. What you do will be completely up to you, but if you stay with her do it b/c you love her and you know that is the good outways the bad. Sometimes after someone has cheated, you may not be able to handle staying with that person, divorce may be what is best for your sanity. If you divorce her it will hurt, if you stay it will hurt. I'm sorry but there is no easy answer for this. If you stay it will take time and patients to get over this, but you will get over it. It takes hard work and a lot of time. I know, I have been in your situation before. I chose to stay, but that is what was best for us. We had extreme circumstances, but we worked through them and we are happier now than we were before. We are stronger now. Only you know the details of your relationship. So, only you can decide whether to stay or not. I wish you luck because no matter what you decide you have a long hard road ahead of you. I'm sorry this happend to you, but your answer is in your heart.

Answer 3

It's very hard, especially if you have been together for a long
time. I could never forgive cheating. Knowing that another
man has kissed, and made love, or just had wild sex with her
would be something I could not get out of my mind. Also,
how did they meet, why did she cheat. My honest opinion is
this; When you really love someone, you don't lie and you
trust them. You never give eachother a reason to doubt.
The other thing to consider, is that it could happen again.
Don't stay together for financial reasons or for the kids, cause
that does not help anyone. I would leave and if she really
loves you she will pursue you. If not, you made the right
choice.

Answer 4

If you stay, understand there will be a lot of feelings and emotions. How you react to THEM is what will make or break your marriage.

There's no magical answer here.

Once you get to being open, take a look at yourself and change some communication patterns to tighten up you and your spouses communication again .. remember good things are never easy and working on your marriage is always a win-win situation

Good Luck!

Answer 5

well this might not be the answer you are looking for and I'm sorry if it upsets you but you asked...

Its what she was made to do, human being were not designed to be monogamous. Couples will get tired of each other and they might stray, that's why the divorce rate is so high. Now their are marriages that are "Open" were couples can have sexual relationships with other couples.

The Important thing is that she came back to you, she does feall a stronger connection to you then the other man.

Answer 6

Wow this is a tough one. I cannot offer any advice to you because everyone is different. But I faced this problem before myself. I was married to a woman and she cheated. I loved her and wanted to save the marriage but after spending a year trying i found that I could not trust her to be away from me anymore. I just simply could not bring myself back to that level of trust. I found that i could not spend my life wondering what she did for that 8 hours i was at work, or watching for every discrepancy in her "story" Eventually we divorced, and I really believe that if we had divorced much sooner that it would have been way less painful to both of us that the year we spent trying to work through it. I know that it is a painful thing though. The whole situation is painful and I can honestly say to you that it will not be any better for a long time to come. but above all, don't blame yourself for any of it. there is no excuse to make any of it your fault. I have heard women blame their husbands for the affairs before with things like "you never spend any time with me" or telling them that they were not good enough in bed, but the truth is instead of cheating for ANY reason that she may feel you are to blame she should have TALKED to you about it and tried to work it out BEFORE cheating. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

I'm glad you are considering working things out instead of giving up on your marriage. Yes, she cheated but she ended it quickly hopefully because she realized what she could lose over it. You should look in to marriage counseling to find out what she feels the marriage was lacking and how that can be fixed. Also, you'll need counseling to help you trust in her again. I hope all works out for you and remember that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. The counseling may work wonders for your marriage, making it stronger and better than it was before. All the best to you!

Answer 8

what drove her to that point?
most women just don't wake up one day and have an affair.
search your heart to see if your love for her is still there.
you must talk this out in any case.
you don't have to think of yourself being any less of a man because of what she did.
you must have the straight to get pass this.
in most cases couples are drawn closer. not to say i agree with it.
one thing is for sure.. there must be a change in your relationship or it will get bad.
did she have sex with anyone before you married her?
if so, did she not give you her heart?
you must understand that women have needs as well as men.
make sure you fulfill her needs.
i think your marriage can be worked out and become stronger......
hoping the best for you both..

Answer 9

find out what made her cheat and keep the lines of communication open your ego is hurt but imagine all the women that may have cheated on you and not told you ,how did you handle that ??don't waste too much energy on that at this point but see if the relationship worth saving , her cheating isn't the issue i have but if you cheat and end it what do you gain by telling it changes nothing and now you both are hurt rather then live with her mistake

Answer 10

If you think you can take the emotional pain, then yes, stay with her. You might need to find out first what made her do what she did. If she was displeased with you, then you'll want to know what you did/didn't do so that you don't make that same mistake again. Good luck!