My spouse has many internet relationships with people of the opposite sex. They talk sexy, talk sex, talk about everything. He states that I shouldn't be jealous because I'm the one he's married to. He says when he talks to them, it's only words. When I ask that he stop, he states that I am treating him like a child and controlling him. He says that I've run off every girlfriend he's ever had. These relationships make me feel sick inside. He doesn't talk this sexy to me when we talk.
We are currently seperated over it, the cell phone is in my name and he doesn't have the money to cut it on in his name. I have put down the stipulation that he not call other women, while its in my name. He believes this is wrong. He also believes that I should keep the phone on, so that he can talk to his daughter...I don't think that is my responsibility. He should take that on his own.
2007-11-11 16:20:46 · 20 answers · asked by ntensifyd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's cheating. kick his asss to the curb permanently. take his cell phone away. he is disrespectful to you and his daughter. ask him how he would feel if his daughter's SO (in the future) did that to her?. he can get a phone card, or a pre-paid cell phone. he's just using it to call his hoes anyway...
2007-11-11 16:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it cheating. If your partner has a intimate relationship with someone other you, it is cheating. If your partner cannot respect the fact the it upsets you, it's wrong and cheating. If you partner cannot except the fact that it bothers you to the extent that it has, you need to re-evaluate everything about this one-sided relationship. If he can't afford to get a cell in his name, especially to talk to 'his' daughter, that what is it that he's doing for you anyway? Finally, if you have to make it a stipulation that your partner not call other women, and he feels like you are doing something wrong, then you seriously need to do some re-evaluating. I am not an advocate for divorce, but I'm also not an advocate for being unhappy, either. Remember self-preservation, a happy wife is a happy life. I don't know why more men don't get that.......
2007-11-11 16:34:05 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think internet sex is just as bad as actual physical sex. He wants to cheat, but "not really" so he can have his cake and eat it too. Being married means forgoing sexual relationships with others, even the verbal kind. If he wants to talk to other women, he should be paying the cell phone bill. If he can't afford it, too bad for him. You shouldn't have to pay the bill so he can get off with someone else. Stand your ground. If may not save the relationship, but it certainly will save your dignity. What he's doing is hurting you, so yes, in a way, you are controlling the situation. So what? He's being a jerk. Don't let him treat you like that. You deserve better.
2007-11-11 16:32:49 · answer #3 · answered by lisagreen1119@sbcglobal.net 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would consider it an affair. You are right to be upset. They are not only words. He is sharing a part of himself that he should only share with you. Some people call them emotional affairs. I would not let him have the phone at all. He can call his daughter from anywhere. I hope things work out for you. Do not give into him. You deserve a man that is respectful to you and cares about your feelings.
2007-11-11 16:37:10 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes! This is considered an affair. It is called an affair of the heart. It doesn't matter if it is cyber, phone or in person. doing the same thing to him just adds misery to trouble. If he can't see what he is doing to you and his daughter then he needs to have the slobber slapped out of him. i am quite sure that when your daughter gets older he would not want someone like him talking to her. He just needs to get a reality grip on life
2007-11-11 17:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by Cedric D 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are the one with the backbone here, good for you!
Have him read this question too, he will see what others think if he doesn't believe you!
If he reads this:
WAKE UP DUDE this is the mother of your child! You have it good, quit doing that stupid stuff .. and focus on your wife and child .. they need you ..
If you pull your head out, your wife could make you feel 10000000000 times more than those internet fake relationships, try it! Before it's too late!
2007-11-11 17:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Queenie` 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! It is emotional cheating which can be worse than physical (like random one night) in some people's opinion. You are totally in the right!
Have you considered counseling? Do you want to try to save the marriage? Do you still love him at all?
Good luck... and don't let anyone tell you that since there was not touching it isn't cheating.
2007-11-11 16:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there are many other issues in this relationship other than Internet. I see issues of finance, issues of time spent together, issues of having common goals, issues of having compatible sexual desire, and etc.
In my opinion an affair only occurs with direct physical sex act between two or more people. Because I know women that consider it cheating if her husband masturbates.
I don't understand the cell phone issue, if you are separated why are you letting him use your cell phone period?
Sounds like this relationship is over to me and will only end in divorce.
2007-11-11 16:44:41 · answer #8 · answered by Bambi C 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, an internet relationship is still considered an affair. You have every right to feel the way you do, he's acting childish and trying to put his bad behavior off on you. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
2007-11-11 16:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. some people may differ. If a guy is with you, then he is with you. You were smart to separate, because it will only get worse. Why should you deal with that.
as far as his daughter that IS his responsibility, not your, key word. HIS.
I proud of you, Move on and find better, there are many out there. Good Luck
2007-11-11 16:26:54 · answer #10 · answered by seacoral28 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋