Everyone says that love isn't easy and you have to work on it. But at what point is it normal for seriouse problems to occur. I have live with this man for almost a year and the 4 months prior to and first 1 1/2 months together were great but since then it has been non stop fighting. I am extremely frustrated with his lack of effort to do anything(job, clean, exercise). We bought books and tried all kinds of techniques. He says that we need to keep trying.
But at what point do you throw in the towl and say forget this! I mean shouldn't the first year at least be mostly smiles?
2007-11-11 13:45:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please don't take offense to this...but from your questions grammar you seem young. Take a little advice from someone getting ready to go through a divorce after 12 years of marriage and 3 children...throw in the towel now. I thought the lack of effort (job, cleaning, education) would pass and it never did. I hung on for so long, trying therapy...trying everything and here I am 12 years later searching for advice from total strangers on whether I should give him another chance. I hope you follow your heart...but listen carefully to your heart. I wish you the very best of luck and hope you make a good decision.
2007-11-11 13:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself what HE has done...what efforts has he put forth to change the direction this relationship is headed? It is all well and good to keep trying but one person can not do a relationship alone. As long as YOU are busy on "trying" he can sit on his a#s and do nothing. Take an honest look at what he IS doing...is he cooking or giving any kind of help at home? If not, make a list of what it is you would LIKE him to do and let him know that he has 30 days to get with the program. Let him know what the consequences will be if he does not. Then, at 30 days, reassess. If he has done nothing, drop him like a hot potato or follow through on whatever consequences you stated and get on with your own life unless you want to take responsibility for this man for an indefinate period of time.
Take a look at your own part in this. Do you feel you have to do EVERYTHING? Could he do something simple in an imperfect way and that be ok with you? You get to decide.
2007-11-11 14:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a big adjustment when you move in together. You find things out about each other that you did not know. You spend more time together than you ever have. If he refuses to work I would say throw in the towel now. That could be a life long fight for you. He should do his share willingly. I am sure that you did not move in with him to be his mother and to have to make him do things. Tell him how it needs to be and if he can't hold up his end of the bargain realize that you are better off with out him.
2007-11-11 13:52:00 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my husband for 6 years and I say, if you find yourself stressed, angry, and crying over the relationship more than just anything, it's time to go. It's not giving up if you've tried everything you could. My 6 years have miserable in hoping he would change. The longer it goes on, the harder it is to get out.
2007-11-11 14:04:24 · answer #4 · answered by 3 Beautiful Boys!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first two years actually are the honeymoon period and after that it can be hard work. Obviously this relationship isn't going anywhere - leave him and see if he puts his life together or not but it doesn't sound as if this fellow is the one for you.
2007-11-11 13:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes two to fight, you are just as much of a problem as he is...if not more. At least he is willing to keep trying.
2007-11-11 13:53:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it hard times now I tell you it's only going to get worse in the future. Leave now when you have nothing to lose!
2007-11-11 13:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by mommy08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is not really trying, just going through the motions to keep you happy as long as he can.
If he was really trying, he would succeed.
2007-11-11 14:11:05 · answer #8 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you bf's brother used to or nonetheless likes you and ur bf feels threaten by potential of it so he dont choose yall speaking. yet your bf's brother is concered approximately yall relationship as friends. u could ask your bf why he doesnt choose yall speaking
2016-10-02 00:38:25 · answer #9 · answered by endo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel there is any regret if you two break up, then, you have to keep to try. Otherwise, it is time to change your heart.
2007-11-11 13:50:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋