Guys??!!...I have found something in my husbands traveling bag today!What is this!!!I feel "sick"....(sob)

Question

I was tidying up in our walk in wardrobe.I didn't mean to really open his bag & check on it.That's not me,Coz once I trusted my husband,I will never do such kind of inspection thing.I'm not that kind.But,I don't know,all of a sudden I saw it,Like, something tells me'open it'!so I did!..And to my surprise.,I saw 3pcs of "Condoms!"..we don't use that anymore as I'm already tied up...I usually open that luggage,As when we travel together,I have to check whatever left behind..But I never see this thing before..I don't know,Perhaps It's been there..,Perhaps not!!Aaah!!&It's really hidden under that foam(sob)..I gues,This were the late'meetings'he'd tell me all about than.I've dedicated my whole life with him,Looking after the Children,Give up my Career!I've always been a good wife to him.Inspite of lots of guys out there who'd even look at me,& try for me.But I never even look at anyone.I respected him,&did my role very well.How could he!?why!?I need someone 2 talk.I'm so helples,what now..

Answer 1

You have a right to be suspicious. Confront him now, or you'll regret not trying to confront him later. Tell him that he has to come clean and that lying will just make things worse.

Meantime, there are many free websites dealing with marriages and infidelity that you may find useful. Start reading all you can now. Knowledge on how others cope with this is very helpful.

I went through the same thing with my wife two years ago -- found condoms, but I was snipped. Then, after multiple lies, I found more evidence of the affair.

Don't wait to confront him. Do it now. Don't do it in an accusatory fashion (that will put him waaaaaay on the defensive), but just ask him about the condoms as calmly as you can. You probably won't get him to come clean, but you need to start trying ASAP.

Good luck! I feel so sorry for you because I've been exactly where you are now (almost two years to the day)!

Answer 2

Step 1: Calm down, you won't get anywhere all worked up. Step 2: Talk to him about it. It's possible he's only been tempted and hasn't actually done anything yet (but doesn't want to bring a disease home if he impulsively acts on that temptation at some point). If that's the case, you could even head it off at the pass. Step 3: If he has, it's possible to work through it; you just need to understand the reasons why and address those in your relationship. If that can't happen, or you don't want it to happen, then unfortunately there's a big change coming to your life. The good news is that such changes often lead to even better situations, and a diverse life path is a rich life.

Answer 3

Speaking by the manner it was hidden under the foam of his luggage, it would only mean that he is cheating on you and is very cautious of hiding his "misdemeanors". But unfortunately for him, you found an evidence.

Most of the guys, despite their age, tend to have sex in every possible way they can. Whichever way they do it to find a willing victim is not a question. They will seek for it in every corner just to gratify their sexual desire they don't get from their partner who cannot cope up with the sexual urge of their counterpart. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how often you two have sex to each other after you are married and after the last kid was born? But whatever reason it is that explains his mismeanors, it still is bad thing to do especially now that you have committed your faith to each other 'til lifetime'.

I would strongly suggest that it's time for you to talk to him and ask about the condoms you found on his luggage. Be calm though when you confront him about his as the kids might hear it that you are fighting. Better yet, talk to him without the presence of your kids. Ask him how long has this been going on and ask him also if he's not happy with you anymore. If he tells you that he's no longer happy with you, then no matter how hard it is for you, you have accept the facts and then move on with your life.

However, if he says he's sorry and he would not do that again, then it would be up for you to decide. If you forgive, don't forget. Chances are he might do that again. Hence, the saying "shame on you if you fooled me once, shame on me if you fooled me twice". So don't compromise.

Save your self from the emotional distress. Act now and be positive. Be strong and seek some marriage counseling to try to save your marriage. Don't let your kids be the final victim of the situation.

Answer 4

Do your duty and you will get your fruits one day ! More difficult thing in the world is forgiving and accepting the truth. You need to ask him about this thing and he surely needs to understand that what you are giving him( giving up career, taking car of children etc..) is a a priceless gift for any husband. In this world to get the women like you is a great gift,people may just label you a typical housewife, but they dont know how difficult is that.. So my suggestion is even if he had done anything bad, you must have to give your children a very good future and life, so you must have to sacrifice and forgive him for that!
May be he wanted to use the oppurtunity to sleep with someone but that might not have happened. so dont come to conclusion and confuse yourself more.

Answer 5

I am sorry,I had a husband to cheat on me in the past.I didn't find out quiet the way you did but,I know the hurt.I am married again and I can't seem to help myself from checking the paycheck stubs etc.I know you feel like your world has just stopped spinning I know but relax go have a drink or two or three.Confront him but know you will not get the truth unless you are lucky.I would go stay at a hotel and get away for a while

Answer 6

Of course you feel sick. You poor Girl. I am so sorry.
If you confront him he will most likey lie, and because you want to believe him, you will, so I suggest that you ascertain whether or not he is actually cheating, although it does seem certain , but you must be sure. Could you afford to have him followed? Once you know for sure, you will be in a better position to make a decision, Don't expect the truth from him Good Luck

Answer 7

The best you can do for now is confront him about this, it could be a misunderstanding. Then when he tells you the truth you can decide what to do from there, maybe this is a sign to get your career back on track. If this is true about what you found, you might need to take some counselling for awhile to get thru it. I feel sorry for you if this is true, but maybe this is a sign for a change in your life. Take Care and Best Of Luck!!!

Answer 8

Just sit him down one day and ask him is there anything he needs to tell you. Tell him something is bothering you and you want the truth. Tell him what you found while cleaning and see if he offers you an explanation. His reaction by you casually speaking will tell you what you need to know. Don't raise your voice but just speak conversationally to him. You are letting him know that you are going to act like an adult about the situation. Let him know you don't want lies you want honesty.
I not saying that your husband did anything at all , but dishonest people can't handle when you talk to them calmly and get your point across. It sort of makes them tell on themselves.
Now your husband may have been planning on doing something but may decided not to go through with it. Got chicken. This is why I tell you to take this approach with calmness because he may have not did anything at all.
Good Luck.

Answer 9

It sounds to me that yes he is cheating or he is planning. I would not say anything and keep watching him to find out for sure. If you say something right now he will make up some lie about them then he will really be careful. Maybe he hasn't yet, but I think that he might have already. I am soooo sorry, if you need someone to talk to you can email me. Good luck!

Answer 10

The condoms may be there for other reasons. Have you asked him. It sounds like you are convinced he cheated on you. Some guys masturbate with condoms. You should talk to him and try maintain calm. Good luck.