This is a serious question! About spanking and child development.?

Question

My room mate has just asked me to ask it. It's because of a project he has to do for psychology concerning child development. He has to survey 100 people and ask

"Were you spanked as a child? How often, how much and with what? Do you feel it has affected your personality? If so how? Do you now or would you consider spanking your own children? If differently to your experience as a child why?"

My first response was kinky but he says that's not relevant so please no more kinky answers.

Thanks for helping!

Answer 1

Yes. I was spanked a lot as a child.

How often? All the time - from since I can remember up until about the age of 15. With what? You name it...the worst ones were the metal egg-flipper (that left cuts) and one particular large, hard plastic serving spoon. I'd get up to 30 strokes in a row while being held by the arm and dancing around in a circle yelping like a dog. Ironically, the running around in a circle incurred further strokes so you had to just cop it until you stopped. Reasons for a "belting" (as it was known), varied from not finishing dinner within a specified time limit (set by the over timer), to leaving a spot on a bench when I had done the kitchen (3 times a day), to getting only B's on a report card. It was mainly my alcoholic mother dealing it out but my step-father jumped in when he felt like letting off some steam.
It should also be noted, though, that I have NEVER (to this day) heard "I love you", "I am proud of you" or been hugged by my parents. If I had, I feel this may have mitigated things somewhat. I won't go into any further detail on that. I understand some of you may be a little shocked by now. I learned long ago not to speak of this in social situations as people clear a big circle around me and I feel like a leper. Even just a simple story...like the timer for dinner, is a good way to ensure that people who used to talk to you and do for drinks etc will very quickly distance themselves, simply because they feel they cannot relate to you as a person, when nothing has actually changed...

Affected my personality? I think so, yes. I am subconsciously submissive and defensive when dealing with authority figures, I actually don't even know I am doing it - only know because a nice honest friend told me once a few years back. I feel a little anger (less so as I get older...I am 35 now) when I hear people whinge about how hard they had it as a kid...it never even comes close. I never say anything though...always best to nod and say "Gee, that's bad". I also think about fighting a lot...but I never get into fights (not once to this day) and I can always resolve conflict with words. I am not a "man on the edge" or anything. I am actually the most solid, stable person I know, and my friends say the same. Every day is actually a bonus for me (since the age of 17 when I left home) because now I am out of hell and life is grand when you are not in hell...trust me. Not a lot phases me and I don't feel that life has any challenges that I could not face. I am, in most respects, a very strong person.

I would spank my kids (if I were to have any). NOT ANYWHERE NEAR to the degree I wore it. Only once in a blue moon when they were really out of control. I would only ever use my hand. I would never send my kid to pick a "smacker" out of the drawer an line up for a 30-stroke flogging. I think that is despicable and something an angry, dominant, lost person does to vent their frustrations at their own miserable lives. I don't know anyone who didn't get at least one spanking as a kid...and they all love their parents and have great relationships with them. I understand the reasons why I had it so bad as a child...alcohol, an unhappy (2nd) marriage, weak minded parents who resented their kids and thought they were there only to do all the menial chores and should be damn grateful that they were even alive at all.

Don't get upset reading this. I am ok..happy in fact! I have not had counseling nor seen anyone about it. I have told only a couple of very very close friends most of the details. I know there are people out there somewhere who had it worse than me. It is just something you analyze, deal with and learn from. Takes years though...I can even feel a little anger as I write this. Something for me to make sure I understand, but not something to dwell on. I realise I am probably an outlier in this study, but I hope it helps.

Cheers :)

Answer 2

When one becomes a mother you start to question actions that you don't feel right about. My first three children did get spanked, but I started to feel that this wasn't right. It didn't get me anywhere, anyway.

My youngest child has never had a hand laid on her and she is an example of the consequences. Don't get me wrong my oldest children did not turn out to be monsters or anything, but my youngest daughter proved, that one can get better results by not being physical. I feel now, that by hitting a child we are creating parents who hit, and children that hit each other. My father was a brutal man and I swore I would never treat a child like that. I didn't but I did spank a few bottoms.
Never again. If I had it to do all over again I would never lay a hand on any of my children for any reason whatsoever.

Answer 3

I was spanked as a child...hell my grandmother made me get my own switch off a tree....i was spanked when i did something i was told not to do...i feel it affected my personality all right...i still respect my elders and i understand that if i break a rule i will be punished....if my son does something wrong i spank his a ss i love my son very much and he loves me and he knows why he gets spanked....."spare the rod and spoile the child" .....i think more kids need to get spanked....its not abuse if its for a reason and u dont bruse them

I dont abuse my child...my son is well behaved...while some people "talk" and "discusee" why their kids did wrong my son is punished for his wrong doing and then we move on....how many times have u went shopping and listened to some dumb a ss b itch tell her kids to "stop" while the kids ran around screaming and tearing stuff up??? My cousin doesnt spank her kids...she has time out...they have no respect for adults...but they do repect me...i dont care if its fear or respect when those kids are in my house they behave like they should.....I got my a ss chewed out by her sons teacher becasue of his behavior...my son got out of a 3 day suspension becasue he told the principal that if he called his mom he was going to get a spanking...so he got recess detention instead....no spanking just a lecture...i dont beat my kid u numbnuts...but if the situation calls for it yes he will get a spanking....

Answer 4

I was not spanked as a child. I still listened and respected my parents.
I do NOT spank (hit) my children.
I believe that hitting a child is NEVER OK. How are we supposed to teach children that it is not OK to hit but we then hit them.
I don't hit and adult when they do something wrong (I would be arrested).

I see spanking as a form of child abuse... hitting is NEVER OK.
I personally don't see how any parent can hit their child and think that its acceptable. I love and respect my children and would never hurt them that way.
I am a true parent and I know how to correctly discipline my children without abusing them.


To branbran----- just because it doesn't leave a bruise doesn't mean that its not abuse. Some of the smartest abusers know how NOT to leave a mark or bruise.

Answer 5

If a child inspires that behavior out of you what does that say about the child , maybe the spanking is a way to stop bad behavior , when you leave well enough alone a child will drink poison , you have to teach , in order to have someone lern , it goes like this " Leave the poison alone or you don't want to know what I'll do to you,, Did you hear me , Or should I scream

Answer 6

Alright, here is my answers :-):

I was spanked as a child (who wasn't?), but it wasn't often because I didn't need it that often, I actually listened more than most children do these days.

I would say, having the dicipline as a child it made me a better person, rather than uncontrollable like most children these days that aren't diciplined.

And if I decide to have children, I will spank them, but I can garuntee, it won't have to be often because they will listen.

Hope this helps :-)