My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. Marriage is not a subject that dominates our conversations. We've spoken about it before, but right now money is tight. I know we can't go get married next weekend, but I think in 2 years, we will be able to.
My boyfriend is very intorverted. It's very difficult for him to discuss his feelings openly. He just can't seem to verbalize how we feels. He communicates more with actions. Honestly, if we ever do get engaged; it will probably come way out of left field (not in agreement. We have already agreed on getting married a while ago, but just don't speak about it alot)
However, his family talks about our future more then we do. Yesterday, a family member refered to me as a SIL and another person meanted something about....."when you guys get married..."
Is it a good thing that his family talks more about future marriage plans then we do. Based on our relationship, is good or bad this family says more.
2007-11-11 11:05:04 · 4 answers · asked by J'adore 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do feel pressure to get married. Not so much from his family, but more from my personal feelings.
2007-11-11 11:15:04 · update #1
We don't live together. I stay with my parents b/c I just got my master's degree. I have LOTS of loans. I live with my parents and don't pay rent. I just help around the house, do laundry and cook dinner.
2007-11-11 11:22:16 · update #2
I think it's a good thing. It means they accept you. They are prob just trying to let you know you are welcome to become a member of their family.
2007-11-11 11:09:58 · answer #1 · answered by Medicgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it's nice that they accept you, that acceptance can turn into pressure. It sounds like you are happy in your relationship at this point; don't let his family's expectations determine how your relationship progresses.
I had a friend who was in a long term relationship. She was "part of the family," was included in their formal family portraits, etc. When the time came to talk about marriage,she realized she didn't want to marry him- and she felt very guilty about not only letting him down, but the rest of his family, too. Not saying this is your situation- but I can see how that kind of stuff puts pressure on a relationship.
2007-11-11 19:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it is good or bad but it shows that they except you as his partner. Many people today live together as if they are married without the piece of paper. You said you're dating but I didn't hear you say you lived together. Is it what you want? Don't use the money excuse. It is cheaper for two people to live together than apart. You have to decide what you want then speak up. Today it isn't only the man that can pop the question.
2007-11-11 19:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anorwen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the fact that his family accepts you is a good sign but it may be because they worried whether he would find anyone being so introverted. don't let them push you into anything before you are ready and in the mean time you may be able to do things to give him more confidence in himself and be more outgoing. I will give you a site for that. There are disagreements in every marriage at one time or another and it would be better if he had the confidence to tell you as well as show you how he feels.
Good luck to you!!
2007-11-11 19:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋