tell me what you think:) ...i think i love you?

Question

so cliche the whole love thing,
doll house home,diamond wedding ring,
happy photo album and a new born baby too,
let me tell you hunny, i think i love you!
sit upon my lap girl,come and talk to me,
let's begin planning our perfect family,
a cat,two dogs,and a cheeky cockatoo
let me tell you sweety, i think i love you!
we can settle down sweet,create a perfect life,
im your rich husband, your my pretty wife,
our kids have grown up, settled down too,
but let me tell you darlin', i think i love you!
look at what we did girl, isn't life fine,
lying in the grass and sipping back wine,
looking back now i know my feelings were true,
i hope you know baby...I think i love you!



i was bored soooo i wrote this, i know its not perfect:) i only spent about 15 mins on it after all, but let me know what you think:)... its supposed to have a kind of sing-song rhythm as oppose to a poetic kind of tone

Answer 1

i think it is very beautiful

Answer 2

It's more than I can usually write in fifteen minutes. Actually, I'm lucky if I can get anything more than a few lines written in a month... but we have different styles of writing.

My opinion: It's a little bit hard to read without knowing the tune you had in mind for it. I can sort of see where you were going with it, but without the tune... eh... it's not bad.

But, I do have to give you credit: I don't know if I'd post any of my writing on this Q&A board. It's not that I think it would be booed and hissed into oblivion, I just don't have-- let's call it the courage-- to let other people examine and scrutinize my writing. I write dark things. Maybe I'd be willing to share my writing with one person, but not the world. You have that over me...

Answer 3

sing-song is poetic. Most good lyrical rhyming poetry can be easily set to music. I write a lot that fits the music of 'House of the Rising Sun', and 'Yellow Rose of Texas', as well as 'Ghost Riders in the Sky'. You did pretty good, but yeah, you're right, not perfect.

Answer 4

charming, mo than sweet, mo than real,
were I her wed run off into the sunset together, almost write like one I once knew,'
if u can produce this when u are bored, I wonder what u can do when u are really in da mood,
oh u used modern day lang-eg babe, hunny,darlin-its oky
but I prefer being the mo older terms/not so modern...jus a preference but I think its awesome
Are u sure shakespear isnt ur blood relative or sumting..(.obssessed w him) so its a genuine prob

Answer 5

I really liked this poem. In my opinion, I liked the satirical take of the American dream and the stereotype of marriage. Plus, I also liked the repetition of " I think I loved you". it gave a rhythm to this piece and it made your meaning of this poem even stronger.

Answer 6

Really cute and well written I could imagine this actually being a song! Well done I love it!

Answer 7

I really like that poem, it runs really smooth, and the words sort of sing off you're tongue as you speak it.
It is most definately a poem (not all clusters of words have their right of being called poetry)

I like that, its very..... fulfilling.

X-x-X Luv Ya's! X-x-X

Answer 8

Sort of difficult reading through it without a tune.

Answer 9

Its so sweet i love it. All cutesy and rhymsey yeah its really good. Well done

Answer 10

no longer very in many circumstances. my dad used to tell me on a daily basis. (yet he's ineffective). my mom tells me. my sister tells me. on occasion different family do ........ or a freind does, yet that variety of love is distinctive than romantic love. or maybe in that cirumstance, i've got no longer heard it in many circumstances. i'm no longer advised "i such as you" very in many circumstances. i'm no longer advised "I delight in you" or "thank you" very in many circumstances the two. Hugs are not worry-loose the two. And inspite of the undeniable fact that i'm this variety of guy or woman of whom is fairly look after and that i do no longer could desire to pay attention it on a daily basis, each each now and then that's fantastic to be attentive to that i'm cared approximately and favored. yet i think of the word turns into familiar after a jointly as and loses this is meaning if used too plenty or interior the incorrect context. Like as quickly as I guy performs the "i such as you" card just to get you to do him OR a chum or relatives member performs the "i such as you" card in basic terms because of the fact they prefer something from you. no longer anyone is like that, yet some are. And the word does lose this is credibility and meaning after a jointly as of getting used improperly in such situations. i attempt to permit the folk in my life be attentive to that i care approximately them in many circumstances. I continuously say "Love You!" or "i like You!" yet that's in basic terms because of the fact is the way that i'm. i've got continuously been like that. i like human beings to be attentive to that they are enjoyed and cared approximately. And that that's actual, as i assume no longer something in return. i'm sorry you have had such terrible situations. i be attentive to the sensation, have faith me. i will furnish you a hug! ---> ?hugs!!? and that i'm hoping it gets better. in basic terms because of the fact some human beings on your life have taken care of you like crap does no longer mean which you're. You deserve as plenty love and understand because of the fact the subsequent guy or woman. do no longer settle for below the ideal. LOVE YOU!!? ?????