I've been in therapy on this issue and have come to the sad conclusion that I would rather be alone and miserable than act out on my attractions, because the guilt and shame I would feel would be too immense and unbearable.
Also, I think I would rather die a virgin than risk going to hell for giving in to my attractions and being with another man sexually.
I mean no offense in asking this; I am just seeking guidance from anyone who can offer it. Thanks!
2007-11-11 09:06:02 · 33 answers · asked by Frenchboi 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The religions that believe as you do also believe you will go to hell just for thinking about these desires.
Try getting some help from those on this site:
http://www.gaychristian.net/
They will set you straight (pun intended) about any real sins involved.
2007-11-11 09:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by cosmo 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Society says being gay is a sin and we go to hell. Dont buy that bull from the buybull it is a fairytale to control and manipulate people. If god made you then he loves you god created the feeling of love and love is blind. So who you love does not matter. Love is a beautiful thing that god created and its never wrong to feel love or intimacy for a person. I think God would be very lonely in heaven if the Buybull was true. Do you know how many people have premarital sex and then go get married in a church damn we all gonna fry if that was the case. You probably get all that flack from your family. Life is short so be happy and enjoy . If people you know cant handle it then pick up and create your own life where you can be happy and the ruler of your own thoughts actions and feelings
2007-11-11 09:23:42 · answer #2 · answered by karayzeebutieful 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only advice I can offer is to live your life however you choose.
It would truly be sad if you sacrificed love in this world for a chance in a plane that we don't even know exists or not, or whether or not God's word has been twisted into something else.
Find love, in no matter what form because right now you're still gay. You can be and never have sex with a man as long as you're still attracted to them.
2007-11-11 09:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by The Smile Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you know it is the guilt and the shame that is holding you back from what your true feelings are, I believe you have half the answer there itself. The reason you are scared is because you accept the codes of morality or virtue laid down ages ago. You must try to understand that you can be perfectly happy being yourself, and if you try to act against your natural grain, it is bound to create a conflict in your mind. Try to accept your emotions, and understand that it is natural to feel the way you do.
2007-11-11 09:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by Gaymes Last Orchestra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a gay virgin. I think that your reaction to the shame is normal and it will pass as you age. Work with your therapist to accept and be who you are because to try and resist to please society will drive you crazy. And as for the issue of right and wrong with god - consider that if god really felt homosexuality is so wrong why does he make 10 percent of all people gay. And consider that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their judgment upon homosexuals not because they were cities of all homosexuals. God says Judge Not. Lest Ye Be Judged and this was his lesson on trying to get humanity to understand that. He decided to smite the cities for being judgmental when he holds that power only for himself. The twisting around to make it a concern that 100 percent of the population was gay and depraved is an impossibility in humans. Go out and meet gays at clubs and bars and just sit and talk and that imposes no obligation upon you but Will teach you that gays and lesbians are just people too and that you are really OK.
2007-11-11 09:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being way too hard on yourself. And you really need to know that if there is a God out there, that he accepts us as we are as long as we are good people. He or She doesn't care about our sexual preferences. You won't go to Hell for being gay. If you believed that, than you would go to Hell for even thinking about men, so what difference would it make if you acted on it, right? You need to stop being so influenced by people who base what is right and what is wrong on a book. Common sense tells us. You really need to find a support group for gay people where you can learn that your feelings are not wrong! If you've been seing a therapist, they are obviously not doing their job. They just made you feel worse. You need to interact with other gay men and really see if you are gay. Just because you may think about a man in a sexual way, does not make you gay believe it or not. However, if you have absolutely no sexual attraction to women, you probably are. I seriously suggest a support group. And don't go to a Christian one. Swear to us that you will stop this negative thinking of yours! You are not going to Hell if there is one unless you are like a murderer or a child molester or something else of that nature where you are hurting someone or others. You being gay doesn't hurt anyone. It does offend some (not me) and might even make some people hate you but it doesn't make you evil in the eyes of a Higher Power and of good people. Best of luck to you. Remember, YOU WILL NOT GO TO HELL AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT!
2007-11-11 09:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by jessica 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetheart, that would make you gay.
Your inability to act on your sexual desire may come from the fact you are not currently romantically attracted to anyone, along with a mixture of feeling that sex is a 'impure' action.
My advice would be to take your time, and fall in love before having sex. I think if you were to become emotionally attached to someone you also desired sexually, and have them be equally as attached to you, you would realize that sex is not a sin, or disgusting, its an act of affection and love between two people, a way to phisically show emotional desire.
To risk sounding completely stupid and girly I would like to say, I hope you fall in love, and feel comfortable with exactly who you are because you are a unique and genuine person.
Also, Gaybashers, Suck it.
2007-11-11 09:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by Karmically Screwed 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? Nervous is the first thing that comes to mind.
I'm afraid there is no guidance that can help you out of this dilemma. I can only wish you good luck.
And personally, I can't quite believe that a God who could make all of this is going to send anyone to hell for trying something.
2007-11-11 09:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so ashamed? What caused you to feel that way? Living a life where you lie or deny your sexuality is harmful, according to the APA. There's no guilt or shame in being gay (or bi); it's just a sexuality.
2007-11-11 09:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
And you're a guy?? You are a rare breed, man! That's awesome! I think more guys should be like this. I mean, sex is natural but I'd rather do it with the right person, which most people don't wanna wait for.
If you're not gonna act on your impulses, use this time to find the perfect girl you would wanna be with.
If you don't find her, they say people like you have a nice surprise once you die, so perhaps you're gonna have quite a lot of horny fools looking at you wishing they hadn't been such fools lmao
Use yourself wisely. This is one thing many people don't know how to do. But at the same time, don;t be afraid to experience something great (sex is one thing but love is sth different and that's what you should look for).
2007-11-11 09:14:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋