my husbands exwife has custody of their kids, they want to live with us, do we go to court if we come to agree

Answer 1

I would suggest that the ex's sit down and talk about it. Work out the details so that the children benefit the most. Children are not really sure what they want. Both parents should have joint custody. This will take away the "Grass is greener" at his or her house mentallity.

Shared custody, with equal time spent with both parents is always the best thing for the children, short of reconcilliation. The children need both their mother and their father. In the event that you and your spouse should ever dissolve your matrimonial bonds, wouldn't you want the absolute best for your children. Think about this now while you are still sane. Divorce is surely the result of insanity. You would want the best for your child.

Don't go to court. What the courts don't know, they don't care about. They love sticking their noses in other peoples business. Sit down, hash it out, then go to court and tell the judge how it is going to be. They have no say so in the matter. When both parents love a child and stand up and say this is best for our child, they fold.

I have included a few links below that I am sure will help both you and your ex find a way to put aside your petty differences and help you work together for the sake of your child. Studies show that equal time with both parents will make a child more likely to grow up emotionally well adjusted and healthy, and more likely to perform better in school and life.

God Bless

Frank Pytel

Side Note: Various Google searches including the quotes.

“Child Custody” : 1,800,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer : 1,680,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney : 1,460,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge : 1,260,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem : 1,250,000 hits
“Child Custody” -Lawyer -Attorney -Judge -Litem -Law : 587,000 hits
“Shared Child Custody” : 1,270 hits
“Joint Child Custody” : 790 hits

http://www.deltabravo.net/
http://www.fapt.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
http://www.f4j.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=shared+child+custody
http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-O8EcRbkhYrI8Y76FID5PBDX6;_ylt=Av95cKrS2heIv727lcF0FuikAOJ3

Answer 2

Depends on _why_ the ex-wife got custody of the kids. If there is evidence on abuse or neglect on your husband's part, don't bother; the judge ain't gonna bend. If it was just a matter of both parents wanting them and neither being unfit, then most courts go with the mother by default (and don't seem to realize how sexist that is). You and your husband could go to court and ask for custody, but be prepared for a long and messy court battle -- and for that battle to end in joint custody. You might be better off working out a joint custody agreement with the ex first, and then getting a court to sign off on it.

Answer 3

Well if his wife has physical custody and she has no problem with the kids being with you then there is no reason to go to court.

However if she objects then you have to file a modification of custody with the court and explain why you feel it would be in the children's best interest to be with you.

Answer 4

You and your husband are married he has children by his ex wife who has custody of the kids, they want to live with you do you go to court for this yes, you have to let the court know that these children would like to live with you and your husband.
When and if you and your husband come to agreement.
Than you can go to court and ask for permission for the children to live with you.

Answer 5

Go for real counseling to explore if this would be a good thing for the children. First you and your husband go for awhile to establish your real feelings about this.. and later have your husband include them in some of the visits until they are comfortable with the counselor.. and then allow them to speak to the counselor alone many times. In this way the counselor ( who must be VERY experienced in just this sort of thing ) will be able to come to a determination.

I would want to be very sure this is not a competition kind of thing which is often seen after a divorce.

I also would want to know if you and her former husband were the cause of the divorce.

I think making the "ex" seem the enemy is most times a stretch owed to competition and is very unkind to the children and the former spouse.

Answer 6

Yes even when both parents agree for the kids to move in with the other, you should always go back to court, or friend of the court to make it legal. If anything just to protect your husband.

Answer 7

yes you definately need to go to court. If he is paying childsupport for them it will have to be changed since they will be living with you . If you don't have a court order saying that he will have to still pay her the child support. It is always better to have a court order stating what is and what isn't to be done in those kind of situations. Plus if they will be living with you , you will have to have a visitation order established for the mother.

Answer 8

if she agrees to that, he can file a custody petition and she has to sign it.. they do not need to go to court if they both agree.

If she doesn't agree and he files for the custody they will go to court for sure, so the judge base on additional information after the last motion decide.

Answer 9

one party must petition the other party for custody and it has to be awarded through a court order. if you have an ageement, have it notarized and attach it to your petition. it will make the process quicker, but you still have to go thru thecourts.

Answer 10

You leave them kids alone,kids belong with their mother not the dad and his new wife. Shame on you and your husband,think about what it will do to the mother. The kids are being disciplined by her and when with you your probably spoiling them rotten.