How do I overcome this?

Question

In March I lost a long term temp job that lasted a year. I thought they would hire me permanently but didn't. Right now I'm undergoing a background check to a new job and hoping I like it. It can take any time to 3 to six months or maybe a year. In the meantime, everyone I know has been hired to full-time jobs, and are in happy relationships. Some of these people aren't really good people at all. I've witness so many good things happen to these people. I used to think in order to have a good and/or successful life you have to do the right thing and be a good person, but what I'm realizing is: THAT MAY NOT BE TRUE! I have very fundamental beliefs of how people should be treated and about life in general but now I feel like those beliefs have been tested in a negative way and I feel I should give up and stop trying to find goodness in people and life in general. I am so Jealous of bad people getting the great things in life, while I have to continuously struggle. How do I overcome this?

I've started temping again in the mean time but I recently found out that a particularly not-so-great-friend of mine just got a girlfriend his been dying to get for a long time but afraid to make a commitment to. The thing is, this guy sleeps around with everyone just for the sex and yet I'm still struggling. This makes me even more upset!

Answer 1

How I see envy or jealousy, it is a sign that I could be doing more for myself and quit worrying about others. It is okay to realize you are meant for better, but it can be self-defeating and miserable to constantly compare. Can you commit to focusing on just yourself and not others? Those who cheat or cheapen their relationships are NOT happy or fulfilled. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise, in fact, don't waste another thought on such people as it will only attract negative energy people and actions into your space if you carry negative thoughts. Can you forgive and let go, can you pray for people to get help and support to stop their ill behavior and feel SORRY for them, there is not need to feel "jealous."

Find goodness in YOURSELF. Love is for love's sake, not for the sake of reward. Same with truth and charity. Life gives blessings that are virtuous and valuable in and of itself. The whole point of "unconditional" higher love is to get away from social expectations or conditions "attached" to life and love.
Both the Buddhists and the Christians teach about putting spiritual values above material ones so you don't stay trapped in miserable thinking. Please don't do this to yourself.

By forgiving and giving up these negative worries and fears, that is the first and most important step in attracting the right kind of energy, love, friends and partners in your life. Everyone has shortcomings to overcome and give up; so the fact you have identified your mindset that is troubling you, believe me that is the hardest part! You have already done your inner homework and are ready to deal with it. So that is good, that you are honest and self-aware.

Can you use "reverse psychology" and really find and focus on the benefits of the hard struggling you have had to do? Let me give you a recent example at workplace somewhat like yours. Someone close to me complained for years and years of getting no raises, promotions or approvals to do advanced work while others got paid more to neglect duties and shuffle them off onto him; taking his best employees that he trained and using them on their shifts, and jacking him over and all the work he invested and did faithfully, never giving him credit.
Can you imagine the frustration. Of course he felt life was unfair, and was stressed and projecting anger and indignation that teh wrong people were being rewarded, even one person who showed up late, left early, surfed the net, drank on the job and on outings, and acted unprofessional when interviewing potential workers who got very bad impressions of the company, etc. etc. etc.
After years and years of this, my friend finally got two job offers from two different client who found a creative way to combine his supervision to do both jobs at once where they complement and promote each other and do not compete.
Instead of being underpaid, he has doubled his old salary and plans to triple his old salary within a year or two. Now he is realizing it was a BLESSING that he was never offered a job where he would not have been free to leave. He was never offered a noncompete clause or anything that would keep him there. All that was for a reason. All the work he invested helped train and prepare him, and also showed to the new clients how faithful and dependable he was, that no matter what he was up against, he always did his best. So he EARNED every bit of what he got later, which apparently took so long to pay off, I tease him that it came with interest!

So that is how justice works. The slower it takes, the more it pays off in the end. BUT the catch is, you have to being doing things not for seeking reward or else you will never get it and will always be disappointed. As long as everything you do is for the sake of doing the right thing IN ITSELF, as ITS OWN REWARD, that is when you are investing in your own future and it will pay itself back. When my friend did things to try to gain something he never got it. He got his reward from all the times he didn't get it and just let it go and kept working anyway. So his commitment to keep his responsiblities and do his work well is what impressed everyone.

So for you, can you find what you take pride in doing, that it does not matter if you are rewarded or not. Can you find what you like best about yourself and just celebrate and give yourself credit for that. If you respect yourself first, for the right reasons, other people pick up on that and respect you too. If you negate or deny yourself and keep looking at others, others will overlook you. If you can find the good in yourself you can understand better how to find the good in others. Hope this helps. Take care and best wishes. Hope you find what works. For you. Let other people worry about themselves. Find the good in you first and stick to that!

Answer 2

Your spending your energy & time thinking about what everyone else has,& what you DON'T have.Please don't change your attitude about what's right & wrong in this world.The people that your calling bad people may be that,but it's not as important as what's good for you.Keep doing what's right for you,& good things come to good people.I firmly believe in that,& have been on this earth long enough to raise my children & now see my grandchildrens growth.Try not to envy anyone,because your the only one that's important.If you keep that in mind,& make the best choices along the way,you'll do well.Remember that "life is not a destination...it's a journey".Even with it's ups & downs,it's an interesting journey....The best to you

Answer 3

keep doing what your doing , chin up, things will change soon for the better. it's frustrating ut thats life.