Should i leave my partner?

Question

i have been with my partner for 7 years on and off we have a 4yr old daughter. He was my first love, when i was pregnant we split up and i met someone else nothing happened though as i was preg.
Anyway me and my partner got back together when my daughter was born that was for years ago, i still speak to the other guy.
My partner and i often argue about silly things, we hardly ever make love and have both admitted we wouldnt be together if we hadnt had our daughter.
Do you think we can make it or shall i leave?

Answer 1

Sounds like you are looking for an excuse to go back with the other guy.

Answer 2

I think you can make it work if both of you are willing to make it work. Knowing your problem is the first solution to the problem.
You must sit down alone and ponder over the times you both have been together and review the various "silly things" that you argue about. You may realise that in certain cases the argument should not have arsien if one of you had had a little bit of patience.
Also ask yourself frankly why you got yourself attached to him and even became pregnant and given him a daughter. Was is true love,love at first sight good looks, affluence or what ?made you attached to him. What was it that made you go in for another partner even when you were pregnant. You may be surprised to know that perharps you thought the other person was much better than your daughter's father. But that was not to be. Now fortunately, you have a beautiful daughter between the two of you. This daughter should therefore be the unifying factor for you. You have perhaps also realized that after all there was not much difference between the two men so the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.Seven good years of togetherness should be the best "school" for you. Again since you have realized that you argue over silly thngs, why don' you avoid getting into it altogether. Most marital "fights" are sometimes sweetly resolved through love making so why don't you give him some nice love making sessions while telling him to let bygones be bygones so that together you could give your pretty daughter all the parental love and care she needs to grow up to be a loving woman in future.
You can also pray about it. To God nothing is impossible. So beautiful daughter's mother don't give up and don't leave and become a single parent unless that is what you desire.

Answer 3

first of all you two went together on and off for about seven years you have a four year old daughter together, you split up when you were pregnant got back together, you had been with someone else when you were broken upright, you still speak to the other guy, you and your partner still argue you no longer have a sexual desire to be with one another right. You two agree that if it wasn't for your daughter you wouldn't be together that's what wrong you are using this child as excuse to remain a happy family and it is not healthy for you or your child's father.

best of luck

Answer 4

The way that it sounds to me you seem pretty miserable, I feel for ya... sometimes we all have to learn, it sucks for your daughter. As much as you want to be together for your daughter sake, you can make yourself so miserable to the point that you don't want your daughter to be hearing you guys argue and fight all the time. She is at that age were she is beginning to know when mommy and daddy are fighting. You don't want her to be around that, it's not good. Somethings are just not meant to be but now you have a child involved it's different. If this other guy is nice to you and you think that he is the one, and know that he will love and treat your daughter great than go make yourself happy. If not it's OK to be single, just think of your daughter though because you don't want to have that life style of every couple months you bring a new guy around. That's why am saying if you do leave make sure when you do find a guy that he is suited for you and your daughter, and he will be around for a while if not longer and make a family. Hope my advice helped and good luck sweetie!!!

Answer 5

Even if you are together only for your daughter, that's a good start. I would say get some counselling together to help you talk things through. Take some time alone together to talk about why you hardly ever make love. Your child won't keep you together but she is a damn good reason to try! And after you've both given it your best shot, if it really is as hopeless as you feel it is at the moment, then try to make your split dignified and amicable for her sake and think more of her feelings than yours when it comes to visits, holidays, Christmas, birthdays and so on. Good luck to all three of you! :-)

Answer 6

Its going to get worse if you stay. A child doesn't keep you together as that child grow the two of you will fight worse then now. I know that you want to give your daughter a 2 parent home but if those parents ar unhappy she will be too she deserve a happy home. So do what's best for the both of you think about if you are happy she will be too.Talk to him explain to him how you feel and tell him as a parent you to must do what's best for y'all daughter that why maybe the two of you still can be friends at least and raise your daughter together with no problems

Answer 7

You can have sex when you are pregnant, the general public is not stupid enough to think otherwise. If you didn't like this guy, you shouldn't have opened your legs and mated with him knowing you could end up pregnant. Now you are stuck with him, so it's not a question of can it work, it's you need to make it work, no matter what. You already made your decision to be with him when you decided to have unprotected sex. Quit talking to the other guy, you are cheating on your partner everytime you do.

Answer 8

At least he is moral enough to stay for the child's sake.
He is a good person. there are silly arguments in every marriage, you just need to admit you care about the other person more than your daughter and her father. Why don't you just try to make some changes yourself?

Answer 9

You should speak with a marriage/relationship councilor about this. It sounds like it won't last another 14 years, but none of us are in a position to judge that without better knowledge. This is important enough that a few sessions with a professional is well warented

Answer 10

In your situation I think it would be best to end the relationship now. Just, for God's sake, keep it friendly for the child. It will be easier on the child the younger they are when it happens.