I'm hoping to become a mom before I get too old, and so I put out an ad for a know sperm donor. You see I want my future child to know who their father is at one point in their lives. Anyway, I recieved many responses to my ad and narrowed it down to one. He seems to be disease free and actually wants to know his offspring. I thought that he was a good choice. Sounds good huh? Well, here is the catch.. I was hoping that he wanted to ship the sperm for me to inseminate at home or in a Dr's office, but he wants to have make the baby the old fashioned way:O because he says that it will get me pregnant faster and frozen sperm will take too long to impregnate me. I don't know. I don't like having sex with men I hardly know, but since I haven't found Mr Right yet, have decided to have a kid on my own. I don't want sex with him, but he is adamant about it. And he wants to fly out to my home for it.I could look for another donor, but he seems to be great in every other way. Should I do this?
2007-11-11 05:55:59 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
He has shown me his medical papers that says he is disease free. Also, he told me to go get tested so we can have sex with no worries.
2007-11-11 06:31:44 · update #1
Thank You for all of your great answers. I do appreciate it so much!
2007-11-11 06:32:24 · update #2
This guy sounds a little creepy. Also do you really want a donor that you don't know well. It's one thing if you have a close friend that wants to donate but a stranger may cause problems down the road. What if he wants parental rights or tries to gain custody. At least a friend is someone you already trust. Also talk to your doctor about intrauterine insemination. You and the donor both go to the fertility doctor. The man goes in one room and makes his contribution. The most mobile sperm are pulled out then you are inseminated in another room. This way you have "fresh" not frozen sperm. Please rethink running an ad for a sperm donor or at least consult a lawyer. You never know what their motives are for doing this. Protect yourself and your future child.
2007-11-11 06:07:10 · answer #1 · answered by Stacy 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Girl, I would reconsider.. when choosing a sperm donor I would find someone who wants to do it the "future way" since you are not looking for companionship, friendship, or sex. Your looking for someone to donate sperm, be around for the child, etc... Sex is a complicated matter than only involves too many emotions if you are not ready. You said you didnt' want to have sex with men you don't know, but you you do want to have a baby. Find out everything you can about this man. When you go to a sperm bank you are able to get a detailed description and history of the person you choose. Do the same with this man. Good Luck and only open those legs for a doctor to inject sperm not the man to assume he is the doctor... sorry for being so blunt.
2007-11-11 06:06:06 · answer #2 · answered by MurphysGirl 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
That sounds like a red flag to me. It's great that he wants to be in the child's life, but it sounds like he might become very obsessive with you/the child considering he will only be the sperm donor if you agree to the sex in order to get you pregnant. Have you asked him about family history (heart disease, diabetes, obesity, etc)? Have you done a background check? I think you should find someone else because it sounds like he could be trouble in the future and expect too much out of you/the child.
2007-11-11 06:02:49 · answer #3 · answered by Madison 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Her and her partner want to raise the child. I seriously doubt they will want you involved, I think you have little to fear. A contract will not help you though. In fact, your name on the contract would be evidence you are the father and used in court to force you to pay child support. If the partner does a step-parent adoption, your responsibility would be severed. Or tell her to email me fatheroffour at ymail dot com and I will do it in your place then you will be completely protected :) I really hate people who say "you should ask a lawyer" or "you should ask a doctor" etc. That isn't really advice. They are cop outs, people just say it to protect themselves from law suits, but really this is just yahoo answers, is it really necessary??? We're asking here for free advice, we all know it isn't doctors and lawyers who are answering! If someone follows bad free advice they find on the internet it is their own fault...
2016-04-03 07:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by Janet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to tell whether he's really wanting to connect with you..or if he's looking for an excuse to have sex. How old are you? If I were you, look for Mr.Right but stay with Mr.Right. And not to sound mean, but just something that crossed my mind while reading your question is.. you don't like having sex with men you hardly know, but you're willing to have a baby with one you hardly know? I'd forget all about the sperm donor, go out, meet a nice man, and if he's really decent you guys could be inlove and become a family fairly soon. Good luck to you.
2007-11-11 06:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Personally I wouldn't do it. He seems so admant about it. I would be cautious about it, especially if he has access he may kidnap the baby and you never see the baby again. He wants to FLY out to see you? I would seriously find a donor in your general area. If you are having second thoughts about this guy and using your intuition then listen to it. Seriously. It is not worth it if he is like that and wants to meet you and have a child with you and you don't know him. I wouldn't do it if I were you. That is just my opinion about it, sounds fishy to me. He should respect you that you want the insemination instead of having sex with someone you don't know.
2007-11-11 06:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't do it, something about him being "adamant" does not sound right..... maybe he has other plans of his own that he is not telling you....I think its wonderful that you are trying to have a baby but I would not trust this man..sound dangerous..I would ask him how does he know about the process of insemination that well??hmmmm....well good luck and only you can make that choice....be safe....and if you do decide to do it the old fashion way YOU need to go him and get him tested for everything.... chlamydia,herpes 1 and 2.syphilis.gonorreah and so on...
2007-11-11 06:06:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
There are so many reasons why I believe artificial insemination is wrong. This is just one. If he is being too pushy, let that be a sign of how he will be in the future. Don't do what you aren't comfortable with, there's a future child at risk in all these decisions.
2007-11-11 06:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by Wickwire 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
would you really want this man in yours and your childs life??? forever!!!
I think what your doing is great (i considered it myself in my single years, luckily now found mr right) but i would have to either a: know the man, be friends, know he wants to be a father, or b: have an anonymous donor, and go it alone.
good luck whatever you decide, but please think twice before sleeping with the guy, if he really wants to be a dad im sure he wouldnt think twice about the turkey baster method!
2007-11-11 09:40:27 · answer #9 · answered by nickandmick 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hell no!!!! tell him to *** in a cup get a turkey baster wam bam hopefully this would work. How do you know he hasn't got any diseases? Have you gone through a legitimate sperm donor company? if you wanted a baby you could have 1 night stands and fall pregnant
2007-11-11 06:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by sexiebum 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋