ever since i met my guy friend, we have been told that we were very 'chummy' around each other. i had noticed that over the year, he did treat me different than everyone else, and we became really good friends. he would constantly flirt and compliment me, and it felt great to finally meet a guy i really liked and had fun with. but when he graduated, he moved far away, and we became more and more distant. i finally asked him if he ever had feelings for me, but he said no he hadnt because he had never thought about it. that confused me, but i ignored it and just accepted that he didnt, even though i knew something was weird. one night, after not talking to him for a long time, i finally asked him why he was so distanced from all of our friends, and he told me he's gay, and that was the reason he didnt go out with me. he said he had to tell me 'that dumb reason' because he didnt want to tell me the real reason(understandable) could he have had feelings for me?
2007-11-11 05:10:27 · 20 answers · asked by billys_talented77 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
also, a few weeks before he told me all this, we were at a dance where another one of my guy friends later came to. before my other friend came, he didnt really talk at all, but when my other friend did come, he became really weird. he would stare me down, then stare the other guy down, especially when i was talking to the other guy. slow dancing was especially bad, he was dancing with another girl and still staring at us. then after about an hour of my other friend being there, he decided to leave. it wasnt like i was all over the other guy, i treated him like i do all my guy friends. it really doesnt make sense!
2007-11-11 05:12:38 · update #1
by the way, i'm not trying to 'get with him' or whatever, i just want to know if he might have or not. so stop telling me to stop looking for attention and all that, because we're just friends, and i know thats the way its gonna be.
2007-11-11 05:28:13 · update #2
He quite possibly could have had strong feelings for you. However, tackling that he is a gay must have been hard. So now figuring out that he might like a girl, would be even harder. He might be in denial, and would think it would be too complicated emotionally and with your friendship to accept he might like the opposite sex. Avoiding it and ignoring it was probably his solution. You should try and really talk to him, maybe he was just a flirtatious yet jealous friend? I had a friend who was in the closet that I thought possibly may have liked me, then he told me he was gay. And well, that's just how he is, and he's made clear that he's not attracted to girls however feels girls attractive? Hah. Anyways, Good luck! Finding one's sexuality can be difficult (and confusing).
2007-11-19 03:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough question because you are dealing with emotions. There can be friends, attractions, sexual attractions, affectionate attractions and love. There might have been an interest in you that was not sexual. He might have been under the misimpression that you might expect sex or affection and therefore he did not act on his feelings. You might have been expecting something that was not there. You can love someone and have no interest in them in any other way. The act of having sex with someone doesn't mean that you are in love with them either. When you mix the two issues then it gets blurry as far as expectations and desires are concerned.
2007-11-11 13:17:17 · answer #2 · answered by eyecue_two 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always possible, but don't hold your breath.
Emotional feelings for those we care about can sometimes get clouded. The lines between platonic friendship and intimate relationships aren't cut and dry.
My advice is to not hold out that your friend will "go straight" for you. It rarely happens and usually ends badly.
Go find yourself a nice straight boy and stop trying to change your gay friend.
2007-11-11 13:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a great platonic relationship with someone of the other sex, being gay or straight should never be an issue..... you've got to look at the big picture... and believe and support what he says.
I'm guessing you've never watched Will & Grace on TV (great show!)... check it out~ you'll see what I mean.
:)
2007-11-11 13:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by CDA~NY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either he is gay and has no romantic interest in you or any other women, or else he told you that as a way of ending the relationship. Either way, I do not think you have a future with him, so I think you need to move on and forget about him.
2007-11-11 13:14:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might of just had a lot in common and if he really liked you he would of said it before he had left. Just get a girl ring him and say "ohhh i have a girl friend and if he is happy for yo u then he didnt really have feelings for you.
2007-11-11 13:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by Jack D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course a gay guy can have strong feelings for a girl. It's called friendship.
Not everything is feaking sexual. I can have strong feelings for a guy too, and not in a sexual manner.
2007-11-11 13:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it does happen. I had strong feelings for a girl, and she had them for me at one point too. Something may have even happened if things were a little different. : /
2007-11-11 13:12:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think there are a number of people who think themselves gay who are actually bi. We live in a world of polarities, and there is great pressure in some circles to declare oneself gay as opposed to bi.
Still, if the person says they are gay, and are involved in a relationship already, I wouldn't get my hopes up.
2007-11-11 13:14:57 · answer #9 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He could have strong feeling for you but only as a friend. If they were those kind of feeling, he's bi
2007-11-11 13:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋