I've always been the girl who has had more guy friends than girl friends and that guys always seem to confide in more about their really private personal lives. I have tons of guy friends. I'm not a tomboy type, but I do engage in activities that they enjoy-like watching sports, drinking beer, playing video games...they tell me that I'm that 'perfect girl' that every guy dreams of dating because I'm a whole package. The problem is, I've always fallen for my best friends, because I am already close with them, and because we're already so close-they just want to stay good friends. I can't seem to understand why I can not find a guy that is dateable if I'm such a wonderful catch? I mean, is there something wrong with me? I think I'm pretty awesome! I am 22, blonde, blue eyed, 5'6". I always smile, enjoy life, make people laugh, and I'm getting my masters degree. Any suggestions on how to nab a great guy without turning into his best friend before we click? Thanks for reading!
2007-11-11 04:44:55 · 5 answers · asked by Alesha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If there is a particular guy that you are interested in, don't treat him like one of the guys. You say you have feminine charms, well use them! I don't mean dress sexy or act slutty, unless your whole purpose is to have a romp in the hay.
If, on the other hand, you want a real genuine romantic interlude, then express yourself with subtlety. How? Back to the fem charm, cast your eyes on him when he enters a room and engage for a little longer than a moment. If in a group conversation, change the topic to one of yours, like " I always wondered why marriages fail or why do people fall in love? Bold you say? Of course, no time to be shy about your thoughts, you have to establish that you are more than a jock. The idea is to get him to recognize you and get to know you and for you to know him( he may turn out to be a jerk). When you have the opportunity to be alone, be effiminate, not silly and don't come off as being easy. Use your intellect, talk about your aspirations, your likes and dislikes as the opportunity arises.
Most important, don't lose sight of yourself, you must always project who you really are, else you build a house of cards.
35 years ago, I was the guy. She was almost exactly like you and I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever cast eyes on! I initially thought she was with one of my crowd, besides I was not lacking for women, although not the right woman. We subsequently met several times, took over an idealistic conversation and found ourselves drinking coffee at 3;00 in the morning. We became very serious and both thought about the altar. Well, careers sometimes become more important than other things, she went to Chicago and I stayed in NY. Long distance relations don't work, whose to blame? 2 stupid people, who had it all. We still stay in touch and wonder.
2007-11-11 06:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by liorio1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're only 22, so given you're on track for your Masters, and your wonderful personality and great qualities, I'm wondering if maybe there haven't been guys who wanted to date you but were too shy to ask or you shot them down. Give it time and don't focus so much on what you don't have - a bf.
I say try loosening your standard of a "dateable guy," go out with the next guy who asks unless he's a total jack@$$, and have fun with dates who don't have bf potential but who can show you a good time, safely of course. Focus on achieving your academic and career goals, cuz when you finally fall for a guy who totally adores you and treats you great, those goals won't matter as much.
I'd love to see who you end up with so I'm bookmarking this Q, so I can check back. My sis-in-law got her Masters in Nursing, so I have an idea how much work it involves, and I have respect for those who achieve such a milestone. Best wishes and kind regards! :)
2007-11-11 13:14:43 · answer #2 · answered by im_a_fun_nut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You actually remind me of one of those characters on 'Friends'. That's weird......but anyway, choose which friend that you like the most, and invite only him over to watch a game or hang out. Keep dressing in sexy, or 'attractive', clothes whenever you have the chance. Then, after a couple hang outs with that one guy, invite him to dinner in a fun restaurant when it is raining and when you have to leave the restaurant, get soaked in the rain. After the restaurant, watch a funny movie at your house with him, after you get in dried clothes. Make sure its late and ask him if he wants to stay over. Plan more hang outs with him and soon I'm sure he with grow to like you. Good Luck!
-xxHeartBrokenxx
2007-11-11 12:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by Autumn x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guys may be feeling a little intimidated. Tell the guy you like, that you want him to take you to a movie or out for coffee. And then grab his hand when you go walking. You may face rejection, but so do guys when they ask girls out.
2007-11-11 13:00:52 · answer #4 · answered by Calvin James Hammer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be friends; that's not a bad thing. Find someone you like. Be friends. Then try and NOT FORCEFULLY be more then friends.
2007-11-11 12:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by Nerd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋