How come fathers are not looked down upon for working?

Question

I always here that working mothers are selfish and I have always wondered why fathers are never mentiened.

Answer 1

I know what you mean. Fathers are often celebrated for working long hours and making lots of money even when it means they end up spending practically no time at home and their children grow up barely knowing them. The mothers end up raising their children as single parents. I don't know why this sort of arrangement is encouraged and celebrated. I grew up during a time when this was common and I saw boys engaging in risky behavior and getting into trouble because they had no real guidance from their fathers. The girls often entered into disastrous relationships with much older men because they were looking for father figures.

Answer 2

Good question! First of all, ALL mothers work whether they stay home or work outside the home. Yes, staying home IS work; if caring for children weren't work, daycare centers wouldn't charge up to $300 per week. That said, I guess it's because fathers don't get pregnant, give birth, and they're unable to breastfeed. Also, I think part of it is because nobody can nurture and raise a child the way his mother can. Rather than thinking of the woman staying home to raise the children (at least while they're young) as repressive, I think it's rather empowering. After all, I know that not a single other person in the world could care for my child the way I can - needless to say, that makes what I do (and other SAHM's) pretty important. Maybe those who look down upon working moms do so because they feel they are giving up the most noble, important job a person could do.

Answer 3

It is our societies double standard. I see nothing wrong if the Husband/Father.. wants to stay home and raise the children and the Wife/Mother has a career. I think every family is different and if it works for you, the kids are happy, everyone benefits from the situation, why not ? It is really a shame that some fathers are looked down upon for being a Stay at home Dad. I think children need attention from both parents. Who says Dad cannot do just as good a job as Mom?

Answer 4

great great question. If i could star it 50x, i will. You have a great point. I grew up in a family where both parents worked, yet only my mother had the extra burden of making sure my dad had a hot meal on the table at dinner time (mind you my dad always had a complaint, like too salty, not hot enough etc). My mom raised us and my dad was never home, again both worked a fulltime job. I remember once i said to my dad, why didn't you guys ever teach us about relationships and he said, "your mom should have done that". Looking back i wonder why i would have wanted to knw anything about relationships from a guy like that. I admit to looking down on my mom for allowing my dad to treat her that way. When it came to choosing careers my dad told me i would not be able to raise a family if i chose the career i was going into because i am a woman. Obviously i didn't listen to him. Amazingly enough, now that we are all grown and out of the house, my dad is trying to develop a relatinship with us. Yes, us. the children, he didn't care about when we needed him. Yep, the same ones who he'd yell at for obstructing his view of the TV when a game was on, never spend time with and endlessly criticize. Yep, that's a man for you. On the other hand, a woman who works and has a family is selfish. How dare she want a life of her own? how dare she not give up any claim to personal satisfaction when she has kids? how dare she think of a career? how dare she contribute anymore to the world than a fresh breed of chauvunist pigs and submissive females?
All i have to say is hell will freeze over before I be the kind of wife that my mother was or have anything to do with the guy my dad was. The guilty conscience women have unfortunately was instilled from birth and so comes from within. this too will change as we get more stabilized in our equality. Nevertheless i am very grateful to live in a society where despite its incomplete gender equality, there is enough for me to pursue my dreams and the freedom for me to make my own choices and not be subservant to anyone

Btw lisa, speaking of the caveman days. Look at ancient egypt. Women did the working and men did the domestic duties. Not the caveman days, look into what you are talking about before spewing cliches

Answer 5

Personally, I always hear that SAHMs are "wasting" their intelligence. I guess that whatever choice you make, someone has something rude to say.

To answer your question: People still value a guy who provides for his family in that way. Personally, I think we should value any parent who provides for his or her kids, in whatever way is most pressing at the time. For many moms or dads, the family benefits from income, for some, they find that being at home benefits the kids more than they would benefit from extra income. I think any mom or dad who considers, "How can I put my skills to good use for my kids?" is doing right by them.

Answer 6

How come women are not looked down upon for NOT working?

Answer 7

Just historically ingrained sexism.That is the way it has always been.

Seemingly we change our thinking step by step and so small gains are made but the fundamentals can remain the same.

I am hopeful given that there has been so much change and the feminist movement seems to only really rise as a peak force every other generation

Answer 8

Because, historically, that's what men have always done. It's hard to let go of such long-held stereotypes. It used to be that the mother was solely responsible for caring for her children hands-on, and the father was solely responsible for bringing in the money. That only occurs in a few families nowadays.

Answer 9

If we produced our own milk for the babies I think you'd have an argument. We don't have breasts so we can't be accused of denying our children milk by going out to work and leaving them in daycare.

Answer 10

Because women can't win no matter what they do. If they work they are "selfish." If they stay at home the are "lazy." Men, on the other hand, aren't held up to the same standards as women.