he always threatens to live me and take my son away from me bacuase i can't afford to live on my own. he always pushes me, and call me a c*nt, and a bit*h. is this normal? what should i do
2007-11-11 04:11:42 · 13 answers · asked by heather 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do have a job i only make 8 dollars an hour, i'm in beauty school igo at night i'll be done in two years. i'm only 20 years old my mom won't take me back. she made me get married because i got pregant
2007-11-11 04:19:07 · update #1
I hope you listen to people on here about this. This is SERIOUS!!!! Your husband is a bully, and he is teaching your son terrible lessons he may never recover from. You have to act on this, and not be beaten down. You must find help. Your mental health, your life and especially your child's well being are at stake.
It is never never never ok to call someone viscious names. It is never ok to be physically harmed or pushed around. Thank goodness today women have choices. You may not be able to afford to live on your own, but there are agencies that will help you with this. Please call a battered women's shelter, even if you just want information to start. You could even call a suicide hotline...I used to work on one. We had lots of general information to give people.
Don't believe that your husband could just take your son away. He can't. It is worse to live with an abuser!!! The system knows that. And mothers most often get awarded custody in any case.
Please keep your son in the front of your mind as you take steps to freedom. You can feel pretty powerless in the face of such a bully as your husband. You are not powerless!! You are an adult, and a mother. If you don't feel strong enough to protect yourself, then find the strength to protect your son. Just witnessing your husband's behavior will hurt your son, don't let yourself think any differently. He's NOT too young to be affected.
My best advice would be to leave as soon as possible. You may not think you have to, but have you seen the news about that woman Stacey Peterson in Chicago? She was killed by her husband. She was in the same predicament as you, bully for a husband, controlling, mean. She was taking her time to try to find away to live financially independently with two children etc..as she planned to leave her husband. He killed her before she left.
Don't even tell your husband your plans. He could escallate and get worse, and really hurt you. So just call the battered women's shelter and leave. Leave fast like there is a murderer on your back doorstep. I wish this was an eggageration but it is not.
Your life doesn't have to be so painful. You don't have to live that way. Your legs move, your mind thinks. You can do this. You and your son deserve it. Good luck and God speed
2007-11-11 04:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by Susan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not normal, no it's not going to stop, yes it will get worse as time goes on, yes it will adversely affect your son, yes you can afford to live on your own.
My own mother went through this, it never improved, it only got worse, my dad was abusive, controlling, and degrading to my mom. You're lucky that you're 20, she waited until she was 47 to leave, wasted the best part of her life on a worthless son of a *****.
The sooner you leave him the better, it won't be easy to live on your own, but millions of people all over the country do it, you can too. Get in touch with a local domestic abuse shelter. Use a phone that he can't get the records to. Tell them what's going on and ask them what your options are.
2007-11-11 12:27:56 · answer #2 · answered by Ting Tang, Tator, & Raven 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, you know that the way this animal treats you is NOT normal. There has to be other places besides your moms to go to. A friend or a shelter for women or somewhere else. You really need to get out before this garbage mouth hurts you. Take your kid and get out.. You could call the police and ask them what to do. Abuse is wrong. Find God and ask for His help too. I would suggest that you slip out of the house while he is away so he cannot try to physically stop you or hurt you. (smile)
2007-11-11 12:46:39 · answer #3 · answered by Fergy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't normal....he is bullying you. Take your son, go stay with a friend or relative or find a woman's shelter and get a job so you can support you and your son and not have to put up with your husbands crap.
2007-11-11 12:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is that old phrase
you made your bed now lie in it
but in your case hopefully you have made a really good friend
as divorce is in order for you
as for custody of the son
there is a 100% chance he lose custody
so leave him Monday
and file for divorce
there is not excuse for living like this
2007-11-11 12:22:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quietly look for somewhere else to go so that you can get out of this relationship. Make a plan and get out.
2007-11-11 12:36:14 · answer #6 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't believe that you even have to ask if this is normal...of course it isn't normal to threaten someone, push them and call them degrading names.....You should leave this man that verbally abuses you....
2007-11-11 12:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
while he's at work contact your local domestic outreach agency for safety plan counseling
2007-11-11 12:17:23 · answer #8 · answered by pitmanette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal if this how you want to be treated!
2007-11-15 12:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not, if you can move out go to a women shelter.
2007-11-11 12:15:48 · answer #10 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋