My friend made a confession to me a while ago. To make a long story short, I have a friend who cheated on her husband with another man and got pregnant. Her boyfriend said he wouldn't take care of the baby unless she got rid of her husband. He pushed her to press spousal rape charges on the husband so they could move on with their lives. He was convicted and she ended up with all marital assets, all because she wanted a new life with her boyfriend and their baby and didn't want to lose him.
When she admitted it was a lie, I felt bad that he was convicted, but he was a pretty bad husband. He was even abusive at times. That's why she cheated. But he's innocent of the rape charge, which is what he was convicted of. What can I do? Should I tell someone? I don't have actual proof and it might just make it worse. It would definitely end our friendship. Should I mind my own business?
2007-11-11 04:10:08 · 27 answers · asked by ♥~Shauna~♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You shouldn't tell anyone, you could lose your friend, but what she did is sooo wrong. Even though he was a bad husband, that is no excuse, she ruined his life!
2007-11-11 04:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by BB 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honestly, I think you are the victim here, not your friend or her ex-husband. Your friend put an emotional burden on you, which (I guess) is bothering right now. It doesn't matter what you do, you'll lose. If you tell, you lose a best friend. If you don't tell, you betray your good conscience. So, in my opinion, you have to find a reason (such as logical reasoning) to save yourself. There are questions you need to answer:
1) Do you value this friendship? Does it mean the whole world to you? (Because personally, I think she's a bad influence, she is the potential that will cause you more troubles in the future). However, it's up to you. If you value the friendship too much and it means the whole world to you, then take her side, be by her side. If not, please keep a distance. In that case, you won't lose the friendship as quick as it would be hard to handle.
If her husband was an abusive husband, I'm very sure that she will take the consequence of her action, because the abusive type of person is not easy to handle.
2) In the case of telling on her, first of all, you have no proof. In front of the court (or police), your words are not valued unless there are some proofs, evidences or witnesses. If you wanted to save the abusive husband, you couldn't. The only bad thing is concerning your conscience. So, my advice is to find some reasoning ... such as he was an abusive husband, then there would be sometimes in the past, he actually raped her ... etc... again, you don't have any proof for this neither, but it is some reasoning that you can ease your conscience and move on with your life.
Good luck !
2007-11-11 12:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by KarenaT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This person seems like a very good friend of yours and i'm sure you only want whats best for her, the problem is did SHE ask you for advice? Her husband does not seem like a good person, and maybe this will wake him up to the bad things hes done however, if someone ever finds out this is lie your friend will be in trouble, and it seems she was only trying to make a better life for herself and the baby. No one can really tell you what to do in this situation, but i suggest letting things sit for a while give your friend time to work things out for herself, it is her life after all. If this is becomes unbearable for you talk to your friend about, you shouldn't do things like confess for her but it should be alright to help her find her own way and be supportive if she chooses something hard for her but that shes belives is right. Hope this helped and good luck.
2007-11-11 12:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by ChibiBunni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do your own business besides it's done and finished. You'll just be making it worse and much more complicated. One thing that I could suggest to you which is a peaceful one and would not make things complicated is praying. Just pray for your friend and her former husband, besides the truth is always known it might be kept for a while but it would be revealed sooner or later. Just pray for the results of their actions, because if you tell this thing to anyone without actual proofs you could be the one in trouble and be accused of something that you don't deserve. Actually you should have recorded what your friend have said and medical tests can be proofs about the statement, but you don't want to be your friend's exhusband's lawyer right? And spend money for a thing which has already happened...So I suggest for you to just pray and pray and pray...
2007-11-11 12:23:25 · answer #4 · answered by bentenwebe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, It depends, do you think your friend done this for a good reason? Maybe she will be happy with a new family and feel better. Maybe if she does the same to this man, you could tell, because who's knows what other guys shell do it to. But maybe she has really good reasons. I know it might bug you, but for now i think it's best to not say anything, and see what the future will be like.
2007-11-11 12:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by Muffin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it would do any good at this point. You could tell his lawyer, but it's hearsay, so I don't know if it counts. But I don't know if I would want to be friends who would tell and prosecute such a terrible lie. There are better, more honorable ways to deal with an abusive spouse. She didn't take them, which reveals a substantial lack of character on her part. Personally, I'd encourage her to confess, for her her own peace of mind.
2007-11-11 12:17:21 · answer #6 · answered by Rebeckah 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Now that you know you should tell. Otherwise you are party to the lie and any consequences that result from the lie. I guess you should be able to go to the police in confidence with something like this.
2007-11-11 12:16:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, that is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!
I don't know what you could do. I mean, I guess you could come forward as a witness and say that she told you she lied about it.
I really admire the fact that you don't want to see an injustice done even though he wasn't a great husband. Honestly, if it were me, I think I would say something. If she wanted out of the marriage, she could have done it in an honest way.
Do you really want to be friends with someone like that? If she could do that to him, what could she do to you someday if it suits her?
2007-11-11 12:14:51 · answer #8 · answered by KC 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Shame on you, do whats right in the eyes of the law. Turn the situation around, you in jail for commiting a crime you didn't do, wouldn't you wish someone would help. Jail is no fun.
2007-11-11 12:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by Ace of Spades 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a male i'd say yes report it! What shes done is not right and if she was abused she could have left him(but greed got in the way)
2007-11-11 12:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by James B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dylan D - You are a prick, nothing good to say then STFU.
Well since you have no proof, I would say just leave it even know it's an awkward position...
This just goes to show how crap the legal system is when people get threw in jail for something they do not do.
2007-11-11 12:15:31 · answer #11 · answered by Luke 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋