How do I appologize to a very dear friend after everything that has happened?

Question

I have been friends with an entire family since birth. Two of the daughters now won't communicate with me. My mom, whom I was the caregiver for died in June of this year. She was my best friend & I am having a very difficult time with her death. My husband & I vacationed with my friend & her spouse after my mom's death. The trip ended up disasterous.
I was very upset and missing my mom, it was my birthday. My friend & her husband only wanted to talk politics which we do not agree on. I couldn't take it anymore and said things that I regret. Since I have tried to call her she won't answer so I e-mailed her an appology. She still refuses to speak with me. Then this last week her sister also got angry with me &called me on the phone stating she never wants to talk with me again. I am so sorry & miss their friendship yet I'm devastated by the loss of my mom & am falling apart. I just wish I could take it all back. Im grieving my mom & havent been myself. Now I am lost.

Answer 1

First thing u need to do is give them some time and space, and then attempt to make your apology to them, however at the same time you need to learn not to beat yourself up so bad over this, think about this its not entirely your fault, it takes two or more to tangle, in my opinion when someone is grieving the lost of a loved one politics and other subjects that may cause conflict should be the last thing on their mind, so don't blame everything on yourself, everyone should know that anyone who has had a good relationship with a loved one who passed away needs good moral support and not conflict over some stupid unimportant issues that we as a society of no control of, so if they cant find it in their hearts to make a mends with you after sometime to cool off a bit, then i can honestly say you should just move on and be around more supportive people you do have your husband and I'm sure there are other people out their who can be a better friend, in my opinion she has some apologizing to do herself, so don't beat yourself up over this so much and look at the good that can come out of this, everyday is a new day and you got to be the better person to let go and move your life on for your own good, besides i guarantee if you give it awhile will call you.

Answer 2

why can't you write them a card with what you just wrote to us...

I am sorry for your loss, grief is a process and doesn't just go away, it takes time before you will be able to accept her loss, but she would want you to try and make it right, apologize and tell them that you can't believe you would let a silly thing like politics destroy your relationship. tell them that you value their friendship and that you do not think clearly when grieving and maybe the visit was too soon. hopefully they will forgive you for friendships work two ways they should miss you as much as you miss them if they don't try and make new ones, or concentrate on the ones you have, you can't make them do anything they don't really want to, so don't just blame yourself.

Peace, try and think what your Mom would do, and then listen the answer will come.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry - seriously, you have been going through a very hard time. Your friend has not been supportive, but people often don't understand a grief process that they haven't experienced.

Why not write her a letter saying pretty much what you said here? Tell her how sorry you are, that you have been hurting and you really need and treasure her friendship. Do not say anything that would reflect blame in any way.

Good luck. I really hope this is successful.

Answer 4

It is a matter of accepting realities in life, you should look forward to giving yourself a chance in dealing with people especially your friends. Have a good perspective because it will affect all your relation and friendship with other people. It is very hard to understand your situation but you are trying to get them bored.

In a conversation with friends, you should have reactions and not to be one sided. Be a good listener for their stories so that they will listen to you also. Self- pity will never give you also a chance to grow up! Collecting friends back again is a hard task because they lost their enjoyment because of your behavior. You want them to understand you but you never realized their feelings also. Wake up!. Show them that you are capable of their company and you can share happiness and loneliness with them. Offer your shoulder for them to cry on until they do the same thing to you. Don't make your life miserable because your mom is already gone to live with the Lord.Try to move on and with the help of your friends, they will understand you later and you can have their arms back again.
Search for something that will make you happy.
Have patience in asking apology, maybe you hurt them also. They will never be like that depending on the degree of what you have said. You will not lose anything if you exert more effort to win them back. There is a proper time, i know !!!!!

Answer 5

I'm so sorry about your Mom. I lost mine last year and within that year I found out my husband was having an affair with my best friend. So I lost both of them too.
Enjoy your husband. He took a back seat too often I'm sure when your Mom was sick. Get your marriage back to a loving level and friends will come.
Move on about those friends. If they are willing to write you off over an arguement, they are not worth getting sick over.
Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

Moms leaving this earth is the hardest thing for a child to cope with. Your friend not understanding this is inexcusable. Don't try so hard, if she was a true friend she will return to the friendship. If she wasn't a true friend you've lost little.

Answer 7

first, im sorry for everything that is going on in your life. i will pray for you.
second, the people you vacationed with should understand that you are grieving. They should take this into consideration.
third, you did everything you could. You appologized. Just leave it up to God. Things will work out for the better.

Answer 8

If you haven't, explain to your friend that you just lost your mom and you were upset. And if she doesn't understand then obviously she is not a really friend. And I wish you all the luck with grieving over your mom. God Bless.

Answer 9

Well you should tell her you didn't mean those things you were just upset over your mother death. If she is a true friend she is listening whether she shows it or not. Don't tire youself out htough, a true frienship would hold strong and come back together once you have both cooled down.

Answer 10

Hi I did not get to read the whole Question .. first off. I am so Sorry for your loss..
Still though the direct attempt to talk to Her will fail, isf She is not mature enough to realize your loss your birthday, the cruise, the friendship prior.. then cut your loss, you are better a friend to,