request for help?

Question

Have got a friend coming from a traditional upper community family. When he was 19, his friend's younger sister who is 3 1/2 yrs older and 2 1/2 inches height to him belonging to a lower community . They became good friends but she declined his proposal. Her elder sister married to their family friend and a divorcee. Having come to know that my friend's girlfriend is having a relationship with that family friend turned brother-in-law even prior to her elder sister's marriage, his sincere love request to stop that relationship and pave way for m'age was rejected and seemingly perturbed, my friend migrated but keeping his maiden love in heart and sought refuge in devotion. My friend became a professional. After 14 years my friend got married but because of his preoccupied love could not adjust and took divorce. Then, he suddenly came in contact with his above said gf who was also of the same profession but still not married. She now accepted the proposal and offered for marriage.However, my friend could not take a decision for marrying her 'cause he came to know she is maintaining her silent relations with colleagues besides bro-in-law. However, nobody knowing her background is coming forward to marry though she is beautiful. Her brother-in-law is also playing a role for breakage of any matches because his relationship would be put to an end. Realizing the situation, my friend pointed out silent role of her bro-in-law in lossing matches. Because of community difference and her continued silent behavior with bro-in-law and colleagues which is turmoil, my friend could not take a decision but requested that he be given must-preference when she wants to marry anybody. Shockingly, she suddenly married another person leaving at a lurch my friend. 'cause of her, my friend lost valuable 20 yrs, broken marriage, money and got second hand education by losing a challenging career and though scored good TOEFL, lost concentration on professional higher studies abroad. Is it the reward for TL (True Love)? Getting on life. Is it the reward for a sincere waiter? What to do now? Advice please?

It seems, when she wanted to cut off her affair with would be in-law, he obtained grip over elder sister. Then, she wept in my friend’s lap hugging saying she was cheated. Thus first love born, the 19-yr old offered his hand. My friend is now 39 yrs, has no children from previous marriage. In second innings, my friend and gf lived together for 20 days under one roof, later had sporadic...ship for 3 yrs. What weighed with him most is her easy silent behavior throughout. At 19, could not accept hard reality of her having ….ship with bro-in-law, unable to bear the torture, left the town since jealousy is the foremost quality of love (you should own it and nobody should eye for it). During second innings, couldn't withstand silent maintenance of contacts and doubted whether he could bear if same thing is repeated after marriage also, whether she would take undue advantage of his love and acts as she likes. Under name of love, whether he should suffer quietly the continuous cheating

Answer 1

I am very sorry that your friend suffered this much. I don't really believe that love exists where suffering exists. Love is active and there was no action, just a lot of overthinking and no resolution. It's always sad when we lose something we are really clinging to. His life is NOT over. He could still connect with a woman he loves and spend his life with her. He could go back to school and better his education thus bettering his professional position. I don't think it is right for anyone to have to wait around for someone else's love. It's a subtle form of self abuse as you are denying yourself happiness by longing for something that really doesn't exist.
Encourage this friend to see this as an opportunity to start over again. It's never too late. Today is a new day with new opportunities. Maybe seeing a counselor would help him understand why he waited and then didn't make a decision. Maybe he knew, somehow, that this wasn't going to work.
Love and suffering do not exist together. Many blessings to you.

Answer 2

It seems it all was a complete lie; If true love is real it will prevail. You cannot know what is in all peoples hearts. Your friend can still get education. Well they have senior citizens 80-95 returning to school to get a college degree and I am sure he is not that age. The sky is still the limit. He must tell himself this is over and move on - with speed and excellence. He will attract the good is he goes the right way.

Answer 3

This material world is full of misery. IT is not our real home. It is the world of the cheaters and the cheated. I recommend taking up the process of Bhakti Yoga (Self realisation) and give up this search for so called love. There is hardly a soul who understands what real love is it is just a perverted reflection of the actual love. Give up the hard struggle for material existence and so called society, friendship and love. I found peace in reality the beautiful in my eternal relationship with my Maker also known as Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, etc. I also have a husband but he is an extremely rare soul. Our relationship is based with God in the center. That is why it works because we cooperate together in that respect. If one is tired of the material drama. Bhakti is the path to real peace. For info Read Bhagavad Gita as it is and The science of Self Realisation by Bhaktivedanta PRabhupada. Then all these concerns and miseries will dissipate. God I am so glad I am out of those kinds of dramas. PEACE!

Answer 4

You probably need to think long and hard about where you are going and what you are trying to achieve. But you are not in a mood for formulating strategy. Too much seems to be pressing and urgent. you have to decide whether to run around fighting fires or allow a few to smoulder, while you track down and extinguish the spark that keeps setting them alight. That won't be easy, for many forces are now goading and antagonising you. Just rise above them and think about the long-term.

VAVA VAVA VAVA

Answer 5

Naturally, the recommendation for penis can come from a girl like u. If the pemis is mine and vagina is yours what I 'd say.. I 'd reciprocate your sentiments and ask for promotion of ur vagina on more solid grounds than mentioned by u for the penis.. - there lies heaven in its depth - It's not only valley of joy but a volcano that erupts with every stroke - It's so alcoholic that more u take it more u want it - If u r on sleeping pills, u need not take any more. Just place your mouth on it and suck heartful and drink whatever juice comes out, I assure u, u 'd get very sound sleep. If that's not enough, u can f-uck too, provided, ur gun is fired and capable of taking dive in the lake. - It's that valley that goes deep down and no one so far has reached its end, how much u may try. The penis has no choice but to pull back for bigger thrust and the vagina pounces back on the penis like a cat on the rat.. This game of cat and rat continues till the cat wins the race and the rat surrenders and slumps down.

Answer 6

TRUE LOVE builds and not destroys. He should let bygones be bygones and start anew. There is always hope to those who believe. If he is a "good" man ( his core being good) then he will surely meet his match somewhere down the road. As Linda Ronstadt's song says:

" Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer,That he'll find another, in that big somewhere out there"

Answer 7

i feel that his love was true and that is very hard on the heart when is unable to release and move on, but that is how you learn. these were his choices and i feel bad that he let it take so much control over his professional and personal life. now he has to accept what is as what is and move on and stop dwelling on what never was. it is all up to him for his future

Answer 8

such a long way of saying that this man threw away 20 years of his life for a cheap woman. let this be a lesson to all. tell him to help his ex-wife bring up his children. do some charity work so that his remaining years are not a waste.

Answer 9

It is obviously a case of one sided love. Since she has married someone else , it is not proper for any one to spread canards with a view to discrediting her now.When she showed her readiness to marry your friend, he hesitated. Why did he do so if she was his true love ? He should have set aside every other thing and married her. Since he failed to do so, he should repent his decision now.

Answer 10

Wow, that was hard to understand. But I think what I got form it was you have loved one person your whole life and never ended up with her. Is that correct? Let me know and I will try and give you my thoughts.