covered by gray clouds,
the sky begins to darken,
animals look for shelter,
for they know what's coming next.
drip-drop, drip-drop,
it starts to fall,
tiny crystals of water,
to wash away the pain.
it cleanses the soul,
it rejuvenates,
satisfying the thirst,
of those we see around us,
it represents the start,
of a new beginning,
a new life,
and a new hope.
uhm would like to know your opinions on this one. please and thank you.:D
2007-11-10 23:24:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
danabanana,
thanks! glad you liked it. :D
2007-11-11 00:33:04 · update #1
j,
i'm 15 actually, hoe did you know i'm between 12-16? haha
2007-11-11 00:34:24 · update #2
j,
i'm 15 actually, how did you know i'm between 12-16? haha
2007-11-11 00:34:31 · update #3
kilroy's sister,
wow. thanks. so happy to know that you were able to feel and see the picture. :D
2007-11-11 00:36:23 · update #4
dondi,
weee star! haha thanks. glad you liked it. am truly honored :D
2007-11-11 00:40:04 · update #5
really nice I liked it....it looks like you have sensational brainstorming ideas and you're really into details and describing what's around you..I think that's a special kind of poem,really....
I loved it, and if I were to rate you....Id honestly give you 11/10! Good Luck You Could Be A Great Poet!!
2007-11-10 23:29:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opinions I have abundance.
It is possibly one of the best pieces I've read in days. I don't think I can add much to what kilroy's sister said, for it makes me feel a lot like that too. The words flows, and have rhythm without being encumbered with having to rhyme. Beautifully done by a beautiful heart. From me a huggle and a star.
edit:
One other thing, I expect great things from you in the future. I see a talent in you that I haven't seen in many, and I feel you can go far in the poetry world. Just keep writing and getting better, and maybe someday I can come to your book signing and get my copy autographed.
2007-11-11 08:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how but i too felt you were adolescent. This is in no way an insult. Just something about the vocabulary or style I guess.
It is a beautiful poem . Very well written except for some reason the first verse seems like the middle or end of another poem. Like it doesn't exactly fit with the rest .
2007-11-11 08:55:22 · answer #3 · answered by Bean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well written, beautiful sentiment. I can feel the cleansing rejuvenating affect of the rain as it strikes my body and flows to the ground, nourishing both me and the world around me.
I can see the life forces at work in the grasses, insect, bird, and other animals. The benefits as the runoff fills streams, rivers, and lakes to nourish the fishes and other creatures of the water. Your poem sparked a though in my mind that is running and jumping for joy, I thank you for this piece of verse. You have a hit on your hands.
KS
2007-11-11 08:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is cold here today and I got a shiver reading your poem .
I could feel the rain on my face, a sweet new start
Your words painted a very real picture in my mind ---Love it Sweetheart !
2007-11-11 18:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by Bemo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice work. I am impressed, you have talent. Keep writing. You are writing much better than most 15 year olds. Keep up the good work.
2007-11-11 12:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by The Dark Prince 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice! I'm guessing you're 12-16 eh?
Free verse poems are my favorite!
2007-11-11 08:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by ihaveaurinalathome! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Splendidly wonderful written by you
It sounds like a song lyric
Try make the melody and sing it and make a new album
Nice words, the words are wonderful and it makes me feel alive
Nice one and keep it on
2007-11-11 07:31:09 · answer #8 · answered by TM™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awesome one!!! Kewl buddy!
2007-11-11 07:35:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sathish NandhaKumar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its good (really Good)
2007-11-11 07:30:51 · answer #10 · answered by winslow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋