i have a huge personality problem?

Question

for all of my life i've been a REALLY shy guy. i'm always really quiet. even if i do talk i get really nervous and say something really stupid. i'm 16 years old now and i had enough of this problem. i keep thinking that its my mole above my lips that's making me so shy but my friends and family say otherwise

Answer 1

Treatment is EXPOSURE. Your always going to have the problem until you confront it. Talk to people, get nervous, say something stupid, and then go the next person and do it all over again. Eventually, you will neutralize the anxiety and it'll all be "smooth." Whether its a mole, or a tick, a pimple, or a missing leg... it's probably not going away (which is why you think it's the problem). So you'll just have to fight through it my friend. I realize life isn't that easy, but life isn't fair either. Good luck.

Answer 2

Everyone is shy. Some people are less shy than others. While some gain confidence faster, other's take a bit more time. I beleive shyness is cured by age and maturity.

But, I will tell you how to fight your nervousness and become a confident fluent speaker.

When you are feeling shy, you should ask yourself;
What's the worst that can happen to me?
Why should I give a dam about what the other person thinks of me?
Or any question that makes you feel more empowered.
Always assume that you're better than the other person

Another way you can reduce being nervous is by breathing deep and STEADILY. This really works. If you research on nervousnes, you will find that when a person is in the state of shyness, there blood starts to flow faster(causing the redness in the face), you unintentionally start moving your body parts, and you start to breathe less. If you even FORCE your body to do the opposite of these things, you will automatically feel confident.

I was just like you when I was 16. I couldnt do a single presentation without hesitating or moving here and there. Now I'm a second year university student who loves presentations.

Key point-Face you fear.

Answer 3

Hi Arman, Im 18 and I still am too shy and too quiet .. I get really anxious being in new situations and meeting new people .. worried that I might say something stupid or that people might not like me. Being shy is part of your personality but with time your confidence will grow.. I know people say this alot but its true. Yesterday I finally realised that it doesnt matter what people think or how they percieve me what matters is if I am true to myself if I live up to my morals and values and how I treat others. Theres no quick soulution im afraid, as long as people tell you to get over it it wont make a difference untill you are ready to change.

Best of luck ;-)

Keep smiling - a smile doesnt take any words

Answer 4

you need confidance building look on the internet national assocation for low self esteem, their is loads of confidance, do some voluntary work get out more you will feel happier, maybe someone has put you down alot i had a bullying stepdad who so i did not have confidance once but in time it grew and remember no one is born confidance, self confidance never come on a plate. it comes by trying.
At the end of the day some loud always wanting the attention people are a pain in the butt so don,t try to be like them.

Answer 5

The shyness is not only negative. A shy boy is not so very ego and dominant. He does not take the benefit of every situation for the best for himself.
This is valuable to understand. So when you are shy, it is also something positive.
But you must fight for your respect too. You have the right to be listened to, to be heard and understood. Do not be afraid of other persons judging of you. They have understood no moore than you.
Do not give up talking to other people.
You have something to tell.

Answer 6

If you can touch your tongue to the mole it means you will always have good food to eat or it can mean you love beauty and sexual pleasure and have good taste in those areas.

You may just be an introvert which has lot's of good qualites. check introver online. Or just practice talking with others more.

Answer 7

sounds like you have a self-esteem issue... im 16 too and i understand what your talking about. just be yourself and dont worry about saying something stupid, cause if whoever you were talking to cared that you said something stupid they were never a friend anyways. if you do have a self-esteem issues you could always go see someone who helps with those kinds of problems too.

Answer 8

you give people the power over you when you allow people to make you feel insecure about yourself. just say hi. its okay to say hi. we are all different. if people reject you. just move on. most of the time when people reject you they aren't worth your time, and they would have hurt you in the long run! just start by saying hi. go from there. it doesn't hurt to speak! :O)

Answer 9

Shyness is a type of anxiety.
Become involved and break out of your shell.
Counseling can also help.