can anything be done to help a father that has become so materialistic he cant even tell who is suffering?

Question

he has visitation every weekend, usually he makes it but drops them off at his house and then goes on service calls all weekend. the kids see there dad if they go to work with him. my son wears contacts and his father hides them and only gives him one pair every 5th week. thats the norm for perfect conditions. well my son is an active 16 year old that, now, doesnt even want to go to dads, and several times has had to go several days without his contacts, if their riped or dirty, because mr. power trip is in control of his sons eyes. this is just one of many incidents.

Answer 1

This is a form of abuse and you should talk to his father about it.

If it isn't corrected I would take him back to court.

Answer 2

Won't be the way he see's it thou, which is what you up against. This all comes down to one thing, "How should the childern be raised" You have one take, he has another. I'm not here to say which is right, its about "purpose". THAT you can actually use against him, not your right, your wrong, bs, just hey that doesn't line up with the "purpose" that were raising the kiddos for. So lets say all you guys care about is the kids are happy. This would conflict with that! You could say, buddy, this isn't making the kiddos happy, back off. But thats not the purpose is it? Your both in conflict about what it means to have "responsible" kiddos, this is his technique for that (yes very controlling, not the point) BUT he is actually "babying" his boy. Tell the old fella that your sons 16 years old, he has two years to show you guys how responsible he is, THIS ISN'T HOW YOU DO IT!!!! Tell him responsiblity is about him being able to fellow his OWN RULES!!!!!!! Not someone else, YES making someone esle's rules his rules is part of that (comfomity!), BUT him being able to be comfrontable with his own abilities to be responsible is the rule of the game. SO the father should allow his son to have the contancts, BUT only give him enought that would be "responsiblity" handle in that amount of time, alloting the fact he is 16. Then watch the boy do a good job. Tell him that he isn't always going to be their to make rules up for his son, doesn't he want to see if his son can cope with that? ESPACIALLY before he kicks him out of the house at 18? So let him know, he IS conflicting with the purpose. ITs just like the difference between socialize and captialism. Socialist are acutally very, very lazy people, compared to captialist, becuase RULES happer choice, happering choice, happers personal individual development, WHICH conflicts with the ability of the individual to be indepent. SO let him know, he is't teach his son to be independent, he is teaching his son how to be DEPENDENT on his dads teachings. Which WOULD actually demenistrate how right you are on the control thing, but would FORCE him to see the dots for himself. So let him know, you set ground rules thats it, if he becuase anal in his sons life, he is only going to happer his personal development, not help it. But this is also a reflection of this guys ability to emotionally connect with his kiddos, if he had, this wouldn't of been an issue becuase he would of UNDERSTOOD this as a necassary step in raising kiddos. Alot of the time, you need to take away rules, so that it is RESPONSIBILTY and NOT just going thru the motions of following rules just because, responsibility needs a purpose.....