when a child is molested........?

Question

is it usualy against the childs will? or is he/she tricked into beleiving it is a game or something and is "okay" to do?

i know that most molestation cases happen between a child and a close friend of the family or something.

but how is it usualy carried out? is it forced?

Answer 1

Children are coerced, and often forced.

Answer 2

Yes - It is against the childs will, and it is a CRIME - Plain and simple.
Kids want to be kids - they have that right and it should never be taken from them

The child is not aware of the force that is taking place at that time, because the child becomes totally confused by the actions being committed by the adult.

Someone they trust is doing something horrible to them that they feel ashamed of later, and the child gets blamed for the incident later - by the molester and often by the parents, or parent. I've witnessed such a sad occasion.

A nine year old girl was outside her apartment riding her bike on a nice summer day, when she noticed someone was following her. A 35 year old male grabbed her before she could get the key to unlock the apartment door to let herself inside to safety.

He grabbed her, threw her behind the bushes of a neighbor's yard (between 2 buildings - no windows), he pulled down her pants, put them over her face and threatened her with a knife I think - and committed his heinous crime upon that child.

The mother had been away from home during that time, and when the mother returned home, I went to see her to help her understand the trauma her daughter was dealing with.

The mother asked her 9 year old daughter "Why did you let him do that to you?" (the blame I spoke of earlier)

I reminded the mother "Your daughter is a CHILD and is no match for an aggressive adult - It is not HER fault this was done to her. Your daughter is the victim here, not a willing participant - and she has every right to ride her bike and play."

I asked the mother what SHE would have done, had SHE been the one that had been attacked instead of her 9 year old daughter. I received no answer.

Yes this was RAPE - but so is molestation - Molestation IS RAPE, regardless of what anyone says. Rape and Molestation, Beatings, Starvings, Abuse of any kind, all ruin a child's life.

If a child thinks it's a game, that child has been manipulated into thinking of it that way, feeling very uncomfortable about it.

Even though the child doesn't realize it at the time, the child has been put in a state of shock and confusion, and isn't clear on why this was done, and why the child feels so uncomfortable and ashamed.

The child has been deceived and BETRAYED.

Those children NEVER grow up to be their full potential in life. They struggle though-out life over everything and can never put this crime behind them, no matter how hard they try - the damn thing keeps coming back to haunt, after they've grown up.

Not only does the crime haunt the child after it has grown up, but also haunts and troubles the people in that child's life after it's grown up.

It may seem they have overcome the actions of that crime, and maybe for a while they can "get on with life" as it were - but that monstrous act will surface again and again through-out life, always taking away FROM her.

Her relationships with males will dwindle into meaningless relationships, UNLESS she is fortunate enough to find a TRUE, CARING, SENSITIVE male - even then it's iffy.

It should come as no surprise to anyone, if that girl becomes a Lesbian later in life. She will always need love and companionship, and it should come as no surprise if she chooses another female for that.

Males who commit crimes of Rape and Child Molestation should receive extreme punishment, and be locked up forever - with no release - EVER.

WHY? Because those males are NOT SICK - They are DANGEROUS CRIMINALS, knowingly feeding off the innocent, vulnerable, and gullible. Shame, is not anywhere a correct word to say to them, because they have no shame.
They have RUINED a young life, FOREVER.

When these males kill the child they have molested or raped, they hide it's body because they KNOW DARN WELL they did wrong, and they don't want to be caught because then they'll be punished. They're smart - but not THAT smart.

Abuse takes on many forms - Done manipulatively or aggressively Abuse is still Abuse. Do Not be Deceived - Abuse IS a CRIME.

Answer 3

They are usually tricked into thinking that its either ok or that they'll get in trouble if they don't do it. with family members this works well for them. the child knows them well and doesnt have cause to think the adult would harm them in any way. some times the perp will make into a game. but when all else fails they just turn to force. i know it sounds like im really into this im not i just learned my self on it cuz my best friends father was molesting her when she was 14 and even then she trusted her dad so much it never hit her till it was over. another of my friends was molested when she was a child by her uncle. she says her uncle was her favorite uncle and woulda never thought he would do that to her and because it was her uncle and she thought im just a kid noones gonna believe me she never told anyone anything. 1 out of every 3 woman has been sexually molested. Because of my freinds this has become a cause i work for to get people in the know.

Answer 4

not necessarily 'forced' but coerased.
in some cases it's made into a game, in others it starts off as a back rub or some other kind of normal demonstration of affection or something and is turned into something else.
It is ALWAYS against the child's will, as, even though most children do not have concepts of what sex, /fondling/heavy petting etc is> he or she will know that the behaviour demonstrated by the adult etc is making them uncomfortable.
Normally there's a fear factor involved as well, like, the pervert says that the child is being disobedient or bad if they don't go along with it, or that, if they don't they will be hurt or have something taken away from them etc, and sometimes it even stretches to the child being told not to say anything to their parents, or other adults in their lives. Like, oh no one will believe you, or you cant tell about this, it has to stay just between us, or something else sick along those lines. So in that sense, the child is coerased into going along with something against his/her will, so you could say that it is forced in a sense, because the child only goes along with it out of fear. [but it depends on the situation, and the abuser's personality as well as the personality of the child]. There's a difference between a child molestation and a child rape, but both are horrible, traumatic things. Some children will kick or hit or bite in defense etc. But it's mostly forced by authority, not necessarily physically so much.

It is not a funny thing though most people i know seem to find it hilarious. The children usually end up psychologically scared for life, but as i said, i hear that's very funny. But i don't think so. Only mentally sick people find that kind of thing funny. Those who laugh over that kind of thing ought to be hated, kicked in the head and viewed as scum.
In any case, perverts that do that kind of stuff to kids ought to be kicked in the head until they go cross-eyed, then taken to the city square, castrated, then stoned to near death, then have their hands cut off and be tied to the back of an SUV and drug through town until they bleed to death.

Why are you asking this Q?
♥

*edit* guy below has made a good point. Tricked is a good word to use. and i like his punishment for the perps as well.

Answer 5

Nine times out of ten a child is tricked (or groomed) into this situation. Then later are told to keep it secret (which causes a lot of psychological damage), sometimes threateningly.

Either way its a very serious problem and regardless of the perpetrator's life experiences or mental state, they don't deserve the air they breath.

Paedophiles ruin peoples lives and have a severely negative impact on the community at large. Best thing for them is the pole axe cause a bullet's too good for them!

Answer 6

YES IT AGAINST THE CHILDS WILL. IT IS A REAL SHAME THAT THERE IS PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT ARE THAT SICK. BUT IF SOMETHING HAS HAPPEN TO YOU LIKE THAT GO TO THE POLICE AND LET THEM KNOW. GET YOU SOME HELP OR IT CAN REALLY MESS YOU UP AS YOU GET OLDER. PLEASE TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN DONE THAT WAY BY A FAMILY (SO CALLED) member...

Answer 7

MOST CHILD MOLESTATION CASES ARE A GAME. CANNOT TELL. CHILDREN ARE NAIVE AND ALLOW THIS TO OCCUR THINKING IT IS OK.
MANY CARRY THIS CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE FROM AS EARLY AS 5-6 YEARS OLD UNTIL THEY ARE 14-16.
YEARS OF ABUSE AND JUST GREW UP THINKING IT WAS A GAME OR A WAY TO SHOW AFFECTION.

Answer 8

it's usually coerced, and often the child is convinced they will somehow be blamed, or thought of as a bad person if it comes out.

Answer 9

usually forced and against their will

Answer 10

Who cares?...Hang him and not worry about the how or why....

Why should one care why the rabid dog bit?
Dispense with the animal...