have you ever...?

Question

im researching adoption. so i was wondering if anybody that has experienced adoption could answerthe following questions, give as much detail as possible! thanks :]

1) what did you feel like when you entered your new home?
2)how would you compare adoption parents to biological parents?
3) how did you make your relationship to your adoption parents stronger?
4) what was the hardest thing about adoption?
5)how has adoption changed your life
6)what is the best thing about adoption?
7)have you experienced abusive adoption parents?
8) do you havea miracle story to tell about adoption?

Answer 1

1) no memory, I was 9 weeks old.
2) My adoptive parents were wonderful, my natural mom is amazing. They both have good and bad points as do any parent.
3) Being that I was a child it could hardly have been MY job to make the relationship work. My adoptive parents did quite well though.
4) Attachment issues, loss of sense of self, inability to see myself as a mother after giving birth, anger at not knowing who I really was.
5) Adoption didn't change my life it BECAME my life. Every single aspect of who I am has been shaped by being adopted.
6) When I figure this out I may finally heal.
7) My adoptive father was emotionally and physically abusive during my pre-teen and teen years, most likely due to an inability to cope with the emotional scars I had from my adoption.
8) Miracle story? That after being separated for 21 years my Mother (natural mom) and I are as close as we would have been if she had raised me. Love knows no boundaries and it doesn't wane over the years. At least not for us.

Answer 2

1) what did you feel like when you entered your new home? Don,t remember I was only a week old
2)how would you compare adoption parents to biological parents? Parents are not the people who gave you life,but the people who raise you with love and teach you about life and self respect.
3) how did you make your relationship to your adoption parents stronger? It has always been strong, the relationship that a parent has with their child is as strong as the family makes it. adopted or not.
4) what was the hardest thing about adoption?nothing for me, but the waiting for a phone call from the agency saying that I had been born and given up for them to consider and the wait to bring me home, was the hardest on them.
5)how has adoption changed your life? It has made it possible for me to hopefully help others who have been adopted or to help reassure people wating to adopt or wanting to give up their children to adoption that they are not the only people in the world that have gone through this even though at time it may feel that way and that either way they have made a good decision.
6)what is the best thing about adoption?Parents and families that love you for who and what you are no matter what you do.
7)have you experienced abusive adoption parents?No
8) do you havea miracle story to tell about adoption? The fact that my birth mother had decided to give me up knowing that she could not provide me with a life and childhood that I deserved to have and the fact that I was adopted to such loving people who will always be my parents and family who were also blessed enough to adopt a second child who is four years younger than myself and raise us both to be loving, hardworking, educated, parents ourselfs is miracle enough for me.

Answer 3

1. I am not sure.. I was only a few weeks old.. but my entire life, I have felt loved and very welcome in my home.
2. Wow... they couldnt be more different. My adoptive parents are older, and seem to have better jobs now and are more stable. My biological parents are younger, have harsher stories growing up and although both are doing well, they seem to have a lesser education or intelligence than my adoptive parents.
3. It was never a problem... I was theirs at birth.. and even though now know my biological parents, my adoptive parents will always be my mother and father...
4. Always wondering why growing up...and a fear of being rejected if they didnt want to see me when I was older and searching..
5. I wouldnt have had the opportunities or things that I have now. I have a masters degree and I have been able to participate in any type of lesson or program that I wanted to growing up. I had parties/sleepovers etc... I didnt miss out at all.
6. Having two families that love me now...
7. No
8. I think being healthy and happy is a miracle in todays world.

Answer 4

I was adopted when I was 10 years old, however the family that adopted me had me as a foster child from 3 months old. When I was 10, and they thought I was old enough to understand, I was asked if I wanted to be adopted or stay a foster child. They told me the only difference between the two was my last name would be the same as theirs. I can remember how grown up I felt because I got to help make such an important decision. I chose to be adopted. I know they would have supported whatever decision I made, as there was another foster child that chose NOT to be adopted. We all grew up under the same roof as one happy family. I have never wanted or needed to know my birth family. I grew up in a very happy well-adjusted home. If you do consider adoption, I am a true believer in always being honest about it. It has always been well out in the open with me and my family, I don't feel it is quite the stigmatism it used to be.

Answer 5

Well I am not an adoptee, yet I am adopter. But my youngest sister was adopted when she was 2 years old but came to us when she was 6 months old. Her father was a drug addict and her mom was too sick to care for her. Her only foster home was with us. She wrote a big story and shared it with my family here is how she answered the questions.

1. I was only 6 months old, but after awhile I was happy there.
2. I think that my adoption parents are my real parents and my bio parents are just my birth parents. My adoption parents care for me everyday
3.I was small but I think I always knew about my BM, so I just made sure they knew that I loved them more than anything.
4. The hardest thing about adoption was looks. My family has blonde and brown hair and blue and brown eyes. I have red hair and green hair.
5. Adoption saved me from being with a drugee father. I wish I had gotten to know my BM. (My sister's BM died a few months ago in a car crash)
6. The best thing was getting a nice family
7. I was told my BirthFather abused me as a baby.
8. I almost died but thanks to my adoptive family that nursed me back to health I survived a very bad fever. I also was about to go to an orphanage, but I was taken in just in time!

My sister is now 19 and is pregnat with twins and is married to a wonderful man. I wish the best to her and the best to all of the adopted children out there. God bless!

Answer 6

i was a baby when adopted one day old. the adoption didn't go through till i was about 4.
2. well the adoption parents are great the real parents i was lucky to not have known them
3. you bond with them and that is what happens and the others are actually strangers other then giving life that is all they did.
4. nothing was wrong with it for me.
5. if i had been brought up by my real parents i would have been abused and been around drunks and druggies and i would have probably been into it. one sister was into drugs and had stroke at 30.
6. great life.
7. nope my parents were my great aunt and uncle.
8. i was lucky and brought up in religion and had a good life which is much a miracle as can be.

Answer 7

1. too young to remember.
2. don't know my biological parents
3. you can't really make your relationship stronger. they raised me. it's as strong as it can be.
4. not knowing. not knowing who i really am or where i came from. until i had my own children, i had no one that i was blood related to.
5. i wouldn't really say that adoption has changed my life because i don't know any other life.
6. i have an adoptive family that loves me very much
7. my adoptive father has some anger/depression issues and was very emotional and verbally abusive when i was younger.
8. not right now, but i'm searching for my own "miracle story" right now.

Answer 8

Mimi is a friend of mine who has adopted a son, now 10, and who herself was adopted by a childless aunt. Her replies:

1. She was adopted before she was a year old.
2. She now has a family of her own and sends money regularly to both her adoptive mom and biological mom. Of course she loves them both, but her adoptive parents mean more to her.
3. Growing up, her foster mom treated her like her own child and she thus responded likewise. Although she knew at a very early age that she was adopted, she never felt any bitterness as she could see that she was better off than her 7 siblings who stayed with her biological mom.
4. It was having to deal with all the questions from the adults, and the teasing from classmates. Although she was happy with her lot, often she tired of having to explain her situation to people.
5. It has made her a stronger person and given her the desire to succeed. She feels that it was destiny that forced her mom to give her away, and she doesn't hate her mom for it; in fact, she is even thankful because she was able to finish her education, get a good job, and raise her children well.
6. No, her foster parents were never abusive.
7. Ten years ago, a pregnant neighbor approached her and out of the blue asked her if she was willing to adopt the child she was carrying. This of course sounded silly at first, as she was a widow and had two teenage daughters of her own. Why would she need to take care of a new baby at her age? The neighbor said she would be giving birth in three weeks' time but she curtly replied she was moving to another city at the end of the week, and promised the neighbor that she will look for someone willing to adopt the baby. Two days before she was scheduled to leave, she learned that the neighbor was rushed to the hospital due to premature labor. At the hospital, she gave the woman some money as aid, but when she visited the baby at the nursery, she felt a stirring within her and couldn't bear to leave the mother and the baby in their condition. Right then and there, she called her two daughters to a meeting and asked them if they would be able to accept the baby as their own brother, and the two girls were thrilled. It was as if the baby had to be born two weeks earlier for her to adopt him! Today, he happily lives with his "mom" and Mimi's new husband, two "sisters," their husbands, and his two lovely nieces.

Answer 9

I can't answer none of your 8 questions but I am considering adopting an infant. I asked a question earlier and i got a couple of good responses but I got a couple of really mean responses and I am so happy to read about so many happy adpoted people. I was really getting scared. Thanks!