What Do You Do If Your Sons Girlfriends Dad Threatens Him?

Question

My son is 12 years old and he is a wonderful little boy but is at a curious age where he is starting to have girlfriends with kids at school. He came home upset tonight saying his girlfriends dad threatened him because he was 'holding her hand' her dad said that if he saw my son touch his daughter again there will be trouble. I understand parents cant let go but she is only 13 and he is only 12 it was just innoncent holding hands. I did not loose my temper and go round I have just told my son he can do whatever he pleases and if he does start trouble he is to tell me or ask him to come round and see me. But its still making me feel like i should do something else but what?

Thanks for your answers I will talk to his dad tommorow as for me being Naive and telling home to do what he wants? I also explained to him his limits and it was just hand olding which is ok there is no harm in that what so ever and as for he should be in highschool, it works diffrent here in the uk he is in high school here but we call it senior school. thanks everyone for their answers I will speak to him tommorow and find out what his problem is.

Answer 1

Have a talk with the girlfriends father. He is obviously not trusting of boys (he was one remember?). If you as parents can sit down and talk things out, it might be better for both children in future relationships and decisions with relationships.

Answer 2

Seriously, you need to talk to that man! Tell him that if he threatens your son again, there will be consequences, Like charges pressed!!!!
There is no way I would just stand by and let some guy threaten my kid!
But.....are you sure it was only hand holding??? That seems way too extreme of an action over holding hands. Call him and ask him what he saw and what was said. You should get both sides of the story. I am not saying your son is a liar, but you should get the whole story.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well... DAD... it's okay! Daddy's (of lil girls) usually get really scared around this time b/c lil girl turn into lil ladies at this time and some dad's can't handle that. And when they see a their baby holding another male's hand, they tend to freak. I guess it's because they realize that they wont be the only man in their lil girls life forever and it hurts them. IIf her dad is anything like my dad was, trust me, she got it worse than just a threat. My daddy used to cry and that hurt me more than anything. Made me think i really done something bad, rather than just holding his hand. Now i am 23 and I just went home with my Fiance and my daddy still seemed weirded out. I'm his only blood child and that's how he see's it. He don't see me as the 23 year old, in the military, pregnant with my own life to live... he still sees me as the lil 5 year old in his lap... now as far as how you handled it, you did good... just keep in mind that you have a boy... this wont be the last time you hear this from your son. But girls like that are the ones you want him to hold hands with... THEY ARE THE GOOD GIRL and her parents actually care what she is doing! Tell Jr it's okay, and if her dad don't clean the guns like my dad did when boys came over, he's okay! ha ha ha

Answer 4

A 12 yo boy has no business having a girlfriend. The girlfriend stuff needs to wait at least until high school.

12 yos these days are not at all innocent. They're passing STDs MOUTH-TO-MOUTH like crazy because the girls are "servicing" the boys with their mouths because oral sex isn't really sex (you and I know better).

I cannot tell you how many 13 yo girls I've seen pregnant by a boyfriend near her age (I worked at a prenatal clinic). Tell me they are innocent. They are not innocent: You are naive.

This behavior is unsafe to your son. You can let him be "the man" and continue this behavior so that you can be a grandpa much before you'd thought. Or, you can tell your child that girl business is off limits until he's older.

And, in the near future, give him some condoms to carry with him for an emergency. Explain they are not meant for him to use, but if he finds himself in a situation he can't handle, be safe and use the condom, even with a girl giving him oral sex.

TX Mom
What has this world come to?

Answer 5

Chill out, you obviously don't have a daughter. Telling your son he can do what ever he wants to do is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. If you think your son is not thinking about sex yet you are out of touch with reality. Instead of telling him he can do what ever he wants you should be telling him how to respect girls and how to respect a young lady's parents. If her father doesn't want him to hold his daughter's hand then he shouldn't be doing it, especially in front of the father, no matter how innocent YOU think it might be.

Answer 6

don't leave it to your son confront the father yourself. In no way should your son be threatened by a grown man for holding his daughters hand! If you let this go I would suggest to you that you will end up having to let alot of stuff go and children don't deserve attitude such as that.

Answer 7

I'm not going to tell you what you should do because i dont want to sound like im telling you how to raise your son. BUt here's some advice, just talk to her father one n as adults if need be maybe her mother should be aware of what's going on also. and you all should sit and dicuss it. because if your son is only 13 years of age then he shouldn't be threatning him he sould have informed you of his concerns.

Answer 8

Oh god...thats happened to me...well, my dad just about killed my boyfriend when we told him I was pregnant (a 16 year old boy+angry dad=...well not so good!)...just have you son apologize or something...when we told my dad....Ben quickly begged forgiveness(lol),then said that he would help and support me and that he would help me get through it and now, a month later...him and my dad are pretty good pals...just basically have him do that....without the whole support and stuff about the pregnancy...it that makes any sense...

Answer 9

2 seperate issues.

Handle your son and insure he knows the next proper steps and respects the girl and her fathers wishes.

Handle the father and insure that if he harms your son for any reason he will be dealt with VERY harshly.

Answer 10

You should teach your son to respect other parent's wishes & requests of him.

Just because you think it's OK for that girl to hold hands doesn't make it OK. You are not her parent.