You'd think I'd be mad when I found out my ex...whom i really loved, was cheating on me. But actually im still in love with him. is this terrible? i think it is. but, i mean, i can't control my feelings for him. i tried to not like him so hard. i finally believed i didnt like him. but then i saw him and i immediately knew i was just lying to myself. isnt this bad? and i really wanna win him back, but idk how to cause idk what it was that made him cheat on me. was it the fact i wasn't pretty enough for him? am i too fat? did my personality change? what happened? I cant ask him though, cause he doesn't know that i know. he told his best friend and he made his best friend promise not to tell anyone- but he told me cause he felt i should know. but i just don't know whats wrong with me.
2007-11-10 13:20:49 · 18 answers · asked by lemonhead (: 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You asked several questions that boil down to, "Why am I not good enough?" What you are really asking is,"Why am I not good enough for a guy who cheats on me?" Do you see how messed up that is?
I wish I could send you some self worth. You need to know how much more you are worth than the way you are getting treated. You did nothing wrong. You can't change who you are to keep a cheat from cheating.
Love is blind. It's easy to hang onto someone we love even when we know how bad it is for us. The more respect we have for ourselves the more we will expect others to treat us with respect.
You know you need to leave. Now it's just a matter of you making that decision. He is not worth your affection. He is not the only guy that will love you in your life. He is however the guy that will cheat on you for the rest of your life.
2007-11-10 13:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by amy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, if the boyfriend doesn't have it in him to be honest enough to tell you that he cheated on you and to tell you why, rather tell his friend, well, you don't deserve that no matter what his reason is. It would be shallow anyway. Some people cheat for their own internal issues not because there is something wrong with you. It's so wonderful to be loved and wanted but don't sell yourself short by staying with someone who wants you and other girls too. And what kind of friend would betray his friends trust by telling you anyway. Sounds like you are the only one who has any sense of loyalty. So, you deserve someone who shares that same trait. But, in the meantime, ask him if he cheated on you and remember if you are having to ask then you should probably end the relationship.
2007-11-10 21:31:43 · answer #2 · answered by Christy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be mad, but the relationship is already over, so why would you insist on going back to him when he cheated on you and didn't even have the balls to come to you and tell you. If you get back with him, how would you ever trust him? Because obviously he wont come to you and confess. And who cares what made him cheat, he was a jerk. The only thing you can blame yourself for is if you let it happen again.
2007-11-10 21:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by C T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love whom you love, and that can't be helped. However, that does not mean that he cheated because there is something wrong with you. You need to be willing to stand up for yourself and let this guy know that what he did was wrong. Stop beating yourself up and think about what you can do better in the next relationship.
2007-11-10 21:27:18 · answer #4 · answered by god_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you need to get over him. DO NOT talk to him. You might care about him but obviously he doesnt feel the same way about you. Find a man who knows how special, beautiful, funny, smart, etc. you are and treats you how a girl should be treated. Respect and honor yourself and raise your standards because you could go miles higher than this loser who doesnt give a **** about how you.
2007-11-10 21:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have low self esteem. You don`t think you can find another boyfriend. You think it is your fault that he cheated on you.
Maybe he is just a coward and will not tell you because he wants his cake and eat it too.
You probably should go to counsling and find out why you think you deserve to be treated this way.
If you do not demand respect, no one will give it to you.
2007-11-10 21:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by Blessed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to find out why it is he cheated from him that will be the best way to figure out exactly why it happened and possibly make you not feel so attatched to him still
2007-11-10 21:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since he confided in the best friend, why don't you have the friend ask him why he cheated. Maybe you'll get te answer you're searching for, unfortunately i can't give it to you. Good Luck
2007-11-10 21:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by devine_secrets34 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't start blaming yourself, he is the cheater and he has the problem. Some guys will cheat no matter how beautiful their wife or girlfriend is. It is up to us to not put up with it. Once you allow it you basically set yourself up for it. I say once a cheater , always a cheater.....
2007-11-10 21:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by perrisgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong is that your man's friend is a lot more considerate of your feelings than your man. Yes, get mad, stay mad, and call him out for his deceitful ways! You deserve better than this!
2007-11-10 21:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋