I need HELP!!! my controlling boyfriend!!!?

Question

I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 2 years!!! we have always been very close, we're each others best friends!!Lately I've noticed we dont really hang out without each other!!! we are always together....everyday!!! Sometimes you just need to be away from your boyfriend and hang out with just your friends...right??ok well he's been getting jealous of me hanging out alot and its really starting to bother me!!! He complains that hes always working and Im out having my fun, I live with my parents, he dosent support me, but he does pay when we go out....but I dont think that he should be throwing something likr that to my face!!! I just feel like he's being too controling =/ I should be able to do wut I want, my parents arent even controlling as much as he tries to be!! I hate it.....wut can I do to stop it!!! I think hes insecure....but he shouldnt, Im not intrested in anyone. I just wanna hang out with my friends!!!! he dosent understand...... I

Im 19.....I've been with him since 17 and well I still go out with my friends and I make my time with him when hes not working or in school!!! I've never ditched him!!! I always put him first but I just wanna feel free and I dont want to argue and fight and get complained to all the time!!!

Answer 1

RED FLAG!!! Hon, you need to steer clear of this guy and end this relationship A.S.A.P. You do NOT want to end up with a guy who's controlling, he has problems and they will only escalate. This question acually scared me because I used to date a controlling older guy too. Please, get out while you can. You're young and beautiful and you deserve a guy who treats you that way. There are billions of people out there to meet. Please, don't continue, look at the warning signs.

Answer 2

He's absolutely insecure and thinks that if you hang out with other people it means he's not good enough. There's no reason you shouldn't get to have friends and spend some time with them. He should get to do the same. You'll go nuts with no break ever from the other person. As far as him always paying- don't let him.. Start paying your half most of the time (unless it's a special date and he's treating). If this means you need a job for some extra spending money, get one. You'll have more of a breath of fresh air and some independence by having a job. There's no reason to feel that your boyfriend has more rules and restrictions than your parents. If you stay in this relationship the way it is now, you could end up married, staying home with the kids while he works, and not having any friends to talk to or a way to meet new people. Some guys even cut you off from your family after a while. I'm not saying this to be smart. Before you know it, you're older and the guy you thought would change with time just hasn't.

Answer 3

Hm. He thinks he's missing out .... one thing you could do is suggest that you have a set night every week that's JUST for the two of you, no-one else, and this 'date' cannot be broken for any reason, crisis, work issue or indeed natural disaster. You make the effort for this, spend time at his flat cleaning up the place (if he'll let you) and cook a nice meal. Then he'll feel you're making special time for him, and he might let you off the hook and bit more, and you both have something nice to look forward to.

Do make it clear that this is HIS time, and that you expect to still have YOUR time. If he can't accept this compromise, then it might be time to move on.

Answer 4

First and foremost, yes he may not understand, but do you understand him totally too??? You just have to give in sometimes. You should really pen down how you feel, by a letter(sincerity), and just speak your heart out. I usually do that to avoid further misunderstandings with my friends/clear things out etc. This is quite a good method, if you cant talk to him face to face. If he's insecure, reassure him, dont leave him alone. Love is about giving and taking. Love is selfless.

Answer 5

I'm making some assumptions about your relationship but I think he's emotionally confused that the two of you are a close couple yet you live at home with your parents. Does he like you living at home and not living together?
If not, perhaps he's trying to compensate by demanding you spend time time with him.

That's my guess. He could be jerk but if you're been together for two years that's a likely sign of commitment.

Answer 6

You are young and have the right to live. You are allowed to have your friends and spend time with them so long as you make time for him as well (which I think you are doing). I've been there. I didn't listen to the inner voice when I was dating the control freak who accused me of having affairs with everyone, male or female. I tried to get out of the marriage but he manipulated me into it and used emotional blackmail. After 11 years of marrital hell, I escaped the phychological and emotional abuse.
Listen to your inner voice. If it's not right now, it's only going to get worse. Something I did learn through all fo this is "we allow people to treat us in certain ways".
There are men out there who treat women right...... you'll find yours. All the best. L

Answer 7

You really need to tell us how old you are.... First it doesn't matter how much he spends on you. If he truely loved you and didn't want to POSSES YOU he would give in a loving manner. Seems he is throwing this into your face cause it really bothers him. If he says it then it is so..... He is a controlling person, there are people like that in this world you have to make a decision on whether you want to be with someone like this or not..

Answer 8

you might have to bite the bullet and break up with him before the relationship gets even more toxic and becomes dangerous. Just leave, that way you'll go with more good memories than bad. if there is anything worth saving, and at this point im not sure there is, there is always counseling. there are jails for those of us that want to be prisoners.

Answer 9

Well you should sit down and talk about it! I would bring a cell fone/telephone just in case you need to call for an emergency. Tell him that you are sorry for hanging to much with your friends and you should of spent that time with him is he still doesn't understand you should just leave him there for a couple of days then talk to him again if it doesn't work again then just break uo with him!

Answer 10

The world of today forces you to be insecure sometimes, i feel like i am in his position right now and if tou want him to stop being so insecure, u should try showing him that you care, so sumthing no one else would do for him, something crazy and fantastic! (but not too awkward) and not just once either