Should i go to the funerals of my parents whom i was not raised by nor did they find me til i was grown but they still dont like me or have anything to do with me because my children are mixed and my husbands white.They are not married and they live in different areas of the state but i am confused i dont know these people other than their names they dont know me other than my name.I was given up for adoption and when they each found me at different times they turned their backs again due to the race of my husband .What would you do? To go to funeral or not they arent dead yet but for future reference.
2007-11-10 11:09:15 · 13 answers · asked by Sharon G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have to say that, if it were me, when the time came I'd go. You may regret it later in life if not. Due to their bigotry they have missed out on you and your family and the love they could have shared with you. When someone dies it's time to put all that behind you.
Just think, if they hadn't have given you up, you may never have met your husband and had your children :-) It's worth paying your respects for that maybe.
I hope you manage to make your decision before the time comes. I hope even more than they will see what they are missing and try to reconcile with you and your family.
2007-11-10 11:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by Raz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the way things sit right now I would say no. Things may change in the future though so you need to keep an open mind about that. The sky may split and they may come to their senses that the color of you skin doesn't matter at all. It is what is in your heart that matters. You seem to have a great heart and a very open mind about life matters. You only share DNA with these people and that is all at this point. Don't worry about going to a funeral of a person that you do not even know. You have no obligation to do so at all.
2007-11-10 11:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are not dead. Maybe they will grow up by that time and you will feel different. Besides funerals are for the ones left behind - maybe you will know some of them by then. See how you feel. I can understand why you want to kill them off but don't waste your time and effort.
Maybe when the time comes you can be some comfort to the other people in their lives they probably neglected.
2007-11-10 11:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by Carolyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you may understand is that all of us is diverse. perhaps some step mothers and fathers are surely large. some is often terrible. I actually have a step mom who's somewhat condescending. She talks undesirable approximately my mom and my little brothers (she hasn't even ever met them). She is a large difficulty maker and that i individually dislike the drama she motives and the failings she says approximately my mum. My step dad is staggering, he treats me very kindly and says that if i elect to pass to them i will. he's definitely very supportive of me having a dating with my bio dad. i do no longer elect to have something to do with them although, and that i'm excited to tutor 18 so as that i could have my step dad undertake me. all of it basically relies upon on the guy :)
2016-10-16 01:34:34 · answer #4 · answered by sooter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funerals are done for the living, if you feel the experience would be good for you, if you'll regret it if you don't, if it's cathartic in some way or you could see people you wish to, then go.
2007-11-10 11:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by refdxf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put them out of you mind now and forever. Just because you are blood related does not mean they are "family," especially with the way they have reacted to your husband and kids. I'm sorry to hear you had to endure their racism. There's nothing wrong with your interracial marriage, and certainly nothing wrong with your children.
2007-11-10 11:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by Ravenclaw Alumni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't. Why go to pay your last respects when you don't have any? (do to their issues). You have no obligation to go. If they treat you that way...AND your children (their grandchildren) then they don't deserve your presence. You were raised differently than they would have raised you...BUT...they gave you up. They gave up the right to pass judgement on your morals, which are in my opinion...of a higher standard than theirs.
2007-11-10 11:12:54 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's up to you. You can skip them if they are *****, but you might find some need to go, if only to prove to you they are taking the dirt nap.
2007-11-10 11:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is your decision to make it doesn't sound like they were family to you but do want to meet the rest of your family well it sounds like they had a guilty conscience but you have your own family so its their loss my child married a mexican and i like him very much
2007-11-10 11:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by dreamweaver 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell No, don`t even send a card.
2007-11-10 11:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by Claude D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋