How Do I Get Over This PLEASE ANSWER!!!?

Question

When I was 13 yrs old(Currently 14) my mother died from the Sickle Cell Disease and I really never knew who my father was so now my adopted mother is doing everything to try and make me feel comfortable but I still feel sad,I fell alone like there is no place in the world for me is there any way to get over this felling

Its only been 4 months since I was adopted

Answer 1

my father died when i was 23, i am now 34. i still miss my dad and always will. it's not something you will get over, and it's only been a year for you, give yourself more time.

what's important is that you talk to someone you can trust like your adopted mother. don't be afraid to open up to her. cry on her shoulder. she will appreciate you being open with her. sometimes our closet family is not blood related. you could always see a grief councillor too.

you will never be alone in the world your mother will always be with you living in your heart whispering her good advice to you for the rest of you life.

Answer 2

I too lost a parent as a child, eight years younger than you though. Maybe that young made it easier for me to do what I feel you will need to do. You need to understand that time will help with the loss of the one person that meant the most to you. It will always be there, but as time goes by it will be with less frequency. This does not mean you are not caring as much, you will still cry sometimes. Believe me that is a good thing to do sometimes, have a good cry. Just not too often, then your attitude reflects those feelings. You stay down too long, and it hurts to many other parts of your life. Second you need to let those that are around you now help to make today and tomorrow better that yesterday. As you see, it is not an easy task. Rest assured that you are not alone out there, you do have people that love you, and are there for you when they can be. Don't be afraid to talk to them. Even step-parents truly love their new family.

good luck, do keep trying

Answer 3

I am so very sorry about this! Keep grieving for your mother and know that your adopted mother loves you very much and cling to her! Let her love fill you and comfort you. I am 49-years-old and my 84-year-old mother died 2 years ago and I still cry for her every day. Cry for your mother. Cherish the memories. One day you will feel better sweetie!

Perhaps you could go to see a grief counselor. I don't know if that would help or not because you might not feel comfortable with the counselor!

You can always pray to Jesus to help ease your pain!

There is also a toll free number you can call where someone will talk with you. Here is the link. It is to the Boys and Girls Town Toll Free Crisis Line:
http://www.girlsandboystown.org/hotline/

Answer 4

One loving parent is better than two totally dysfunctional ones. One living and caring mother is going to have to be better now than holding on to your grief and anger. You don't really have a choice now, if you want to lead a happy and healthy life. You must choose to heal yourself and recover. What happened was very sad, and you probably feel abandonned, so there could be a bit of anger under your surface. Your grief must be huge. Allow yourself to feel the sadness then let it go. You'll never feel entirely like it was before. Since it's been around a year since your mother passed on, the hurt is still fresh. You are not responsible for her death in any way. You did not deserve for that to have happened to you. Try to stay "in the moment" especially when the small treasures of life reveal themselves to you.

Answer 5

I am very sorry you are hurting. You are going through the bereavement process, which is never easy.

Since you have now been adopted, maybe you can ask your adoptive mom about some counseling. It is okay to miss your mom, but if you are sad every day and feel that alone, maybe you need some help.

Good luck...you aren't alone, but grief takes time.

Answer 6

Hi Hecto. First of all I want to say sorry for your mothers death. Its obviouse you are still greaving. When I greave I put my sadness in Gods hands and believe it or not my load seems to be lighter. God said ask and you shall be given...Believe with out expecting anything in return is key. This is called faith. Count your blessings. YOur mother is gone and is in heaven and its hard to let go... now God throws you a rope and its up to you to reach out and hold on to it. There is so much ahead of you...some day you will have a family of your own...yess you will have the experience of feeling the love one has for his her children and having a loving partner to share the rest of your life with. I don't know how old you are if you are under age18 its hard to look at this because life at this point is not preparing you for this step yet. May be your still in school. Strart here,a and educate yourself so you can be what you were meant to be. Take what God has gove to you Good luck.

Answer 7

relax. I know this sounds weird, but relax. what you are doing is a defense response. your heart is trying to put itself back together again but the edges are raw and they are rubbing against each other. Do something to honor your mother that left you. get with a spiritual adivsor, go on the internet, talk to friends. I'm not telling you to let her go, but let your mother rest. tell your adopted mother how you are feeling, even if it is the need for space. Then talk to your adopted parent and get to know her, she could be kinda cool. We all know that she isn't the one you lost, but she, as an adult, as access to what it is you may need. She isn't going to try to replace the one you lost, and she shouldn't try to. But let her be the new adult in your life. support is support. maybe not in the way you are used to, but in a way that works all the same. this way your heart can shift and grow into a new design. one that doesn't hurt as much.

Answer 8

its only natural to feel this way at such a young age. i would suggest that you talk to your adoptive mother about the way you feel. there is a place for you on this planet just cheer up.

Answer 9

my best friend christina was adopted when she was born. both her parents died after she was born in china and she had never really met either of them. me and my friends try our best to comfort her and it seems to work.
just remember your not alone, that there are lots more people who are adopted.

Answer 10

My mom died when I was a baby. I'm now 21 and still can't "get over it".
It's something you will never get over. So, don't expect to.