If your primary school age child is deliberately naughty all the time?

Question

should you continue to show love, or would that allow the behaviour to continue? In the same way that a person who keeps loving a partner who is an alcoholic and violent could be perpetuating the situation by allowing them to continue.

This is for when disciplline doesn't work, and the child refuses to do what is right.

I mean do you still tell them that you love them and hug them, when you know as soon as you do, they think everything's ok again, despite what they've done.

Answer 1

Yes, you love them, and show them that you love them no matter what.

That way they know that when they no longer have the ability to play on the computer because you just donated it to charity, cut off the cable to the TV, threw away the cell phones, burned the toys, that the discipline is because of the behaviour..... not because you don't love them anymore!

Answer 2

Well Acai I certainly would not allow this behavior to continue.Showing affection for malappropriate behavior is doing that.I have dealt with children who actually sought discipline.They will go as far as they are encouraged to go.Recall Clint Eastwood said a man has to know his limits?Only in this case is a girl has to know her limits.Unless these limits are taught to them they will never learn them at home.Society will take care of the problem.Believe me this is something you don't want to experience.I was seeing this woman who had a 6 year old boy who was completely obnoxious and out of hand.I thought it was because I was taking away time from his Mother.But this was not the case.I lived next door and she would come visit me when he was in bed.Still at home and in school the obnoxious behavior persisted.Finally one day I was lyiny on her couch watching a Hockey game and the boy dumped a pitcher of water on my head.Janice was going to take care of the problem,but I knew the behavior would still persist.I told Janice no let me handle this.She was a bit apprehensive as she was not really sure how angry I was.I was not unusually perturbed and I took young Lathan into the back bedroom.I held him sitting on the bed and read him the riot act.I didn't use vulgar language but I didn't mince words.I scared the BeJesus out of him.This didn't immediately solve the problem and I had to repeat it to him several times.He screamed and hollared so loud for his Mother that she peeped in.I told her to shut the door and beat it.Little by little the oroblem disappearde and Lathan became my inseparable partner.I had to rough him around a little but I never hit him.When his father finally came back home he thanked me for what I did for his son.Now I'm not advocating this is the way to teach a young lady her limits but she must be scared into realizing she can't run crazy in society.Merely a polite talking to will not do it nor do I advocate hitting children.You decide best how to scare her into realizing her limits.But I bet a little rough treatment (not spanking)will work wonders and surprise you. Sorry for the mistypings Acai... Your Pal larry m

Answer 3

To Jibs! Try this, our 5 year old constantly misbehaves, one of the usual is she drinks water from the fountain at school all the time, (the teacher says she visits the loo a lot, told her why but she hasn't stopped her), she still wears a nappy for bed, and has been known to remove it, wet the bed and put the nappy back on, she will also blatently look you in the eye and wet herself, for no reason! She does not care one jot, stop treats, naughty chair, step, corner, even a slap on the hand, no tv, bed with no supper, we tried everything! If you have a reasonable day, and show any kind of thanks for good behaviour, she takes that as a sign to be worse than ever.

Answer 4

The best form of punishment for any child is naughty step or chair or if alot older ground them or stop pocket money. You should always love your child but by that I don't mean when they are naughtly cuddle them and say it is okay you have to show them that you won't stand for that behaviour and smacking is not the way, you have to find discipline that does work there is always something, from banning tv, to banning sweets etc... and when they are good or say sorry etc.. the best way of showing your love your child is doing something with them eg, take them out, sit and read etc...

Answer 5

Oh yes. Get them where it hurts. My 6 and 10 year old get £5 a week pocket money. Every single time a foot is put out of place they lose 50p - £1.00 depending on what has happened. 3 weeks on and my children are becoming angelic. The great thing is I don't even have to raise my voice, I just say £4.50, £4.00, £3.50 & they're like no mummy, no! Then, they have the cheek to ask if they can earn it back - so if you don't like hoovering, this one works great. Good luck.

Answer 6

Yes of course you should continue to show love. Love for your children is unconditional, this means that you love them no matter what. Your child will try you out to see if you do still love him/her no matter what (s)he does and this is when it is most important that you DO show them love. You tell them that the BEHAVIOUR is unacceptable but you still love them. Denying love is nothing to do with discipline. You need to find out why the child is being deliberately naughty and deal with that. Being deliberately naughty is called attention seeking. The child wants you to notice them. They want you to see that something is wrong. Find out what it is.

Answer 7

Always show your child love. Its like saying I only love you when you good and not when your bad. I always tell my son I love him. Love is not a reward or punishment. Make a reward chart. My little boy picks something. If hes good, he gets a star and if hes bad, I remove one. The bigger the prize, the more stars he needs. He even tries to do something extra special, so he can get his stars quicker!!! Also is there any chance that he is being deliberately bad to get your attention. He could also be upset at something and he is lashing out at you. good luck xx

Answer 8

You should always show love to a child Always, you can still be strict and excert dicipline without being cruel or unloving, let them know they are being punished because you love them and want them to behave accordingly and have a happy sucessful life.

Answer 9

assuming by disciplin you mean beating, if that still doesn't work, try cutting back on their priveledges. That's real punishment.

Or watch alot of Supernanny.. she gives useful advice

Answer 10

heres what i do. he is punished and talked to thoroughly about what he did and why its wrong.

alter the punishment is over i do tell him i love him and hug him. once the punishment is over the child needs to be loved on so they know you arent gonna stay upset forever.