Dumb blonde jokes?

Question

Funniest one gets best answer!!! But I won't choose it, I'll let voters choose it!!! Hopefully this will be fun!!!

c c, PLEASE don't be rude!!!! I don't think that all blondes are dumb, I just like the jokes. If anyone really feels hurt by my question, you can change it to dumb brunette or dumb redhead or something. Whatever, I don't care!

Answer 1

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to the coach section since she did not have a first class ticket.

The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."

Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."

He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so."

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.

The pilot replied, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."


ANOTHER ONE!

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the six o'clock news on television. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.

The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, the man jumped The blonde gave the redhead $50.

The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend."

The blonde said, "No, a bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on TV on the five o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde says, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

ANOTHER ONE!

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."

The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

ANOTHER ONE!

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and, frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

ANOTHER ONE!

A Russian, an American, and a blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

The blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

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I have many more, just go to my profile and then click on my questions. Good luck! and please vote for me! thnx! =)

Answer 2

mercedesBlondes


There were these 2 blondes standing outside in a parking lot next to there mercedes vehicle.They were locked out so they were trying to get the door open with a close hanger. The 1st blonde said," You need to try harder. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"

The top 10 jokes

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


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A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".


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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!


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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.


The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!


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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,


"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."


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A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"


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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"


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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"


not being rude alot of blondes are very smart

Answer 3

The Blonde Officer
A blonde in a convertible is speeding down the highway when she gets pulled over by a female police officer, who also turns out to be a blonde. She walks up to the convertible and asks to see the blonde's drivers license.

Confused, the blonde asks, "What does a license look like?"

Eager to help, the officer happily responds, "It's that thing in your purse with your face on it."

The blonde begins searching through her purse and finally pulls out a mirror. She flips it open, sees her own reflection and figures that must be it. After handing it over to the officer, the officer carefully looks at it says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"



here is another one

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?

A: In case she locks the keys in her car.



another one


A blonde goes by an eletronic store...
A blonde goes by an eletronic store when she notices a TV in the front window. She needed a new TV, it had lots of buttons, looked nice and was selling for $259. So she goes in and asked for the TV in the front window but the salesman said "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." So she just stormed out.

She really wanted this TV so overnight, she dyed her hair red. She came in and asked for the TV in the front window. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." came the reply.

By this time she was desperate so she goes home and shaves off her hair. She goes in and asks for the TV in the front window but the salesman just goes, 'We don't sell to blondes.'

'How do you know I'm a blonde. I dyed my hair red, and then I even shaved it off, and you still know I'm a blonde. HOW?"

"There are only microwaves in the front window."



another one


One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Answer 4

a blonde was walking around the whole school bragging to everyone that she knows the state capitols. then a red head comes up and says ok so you think you know the capitols and the blonde replied with a big duh. and so the red head asked the blonde what the capitol of whyoming was. the blonde replies ohh that is so easy its W

Answer 5

there is a blond walking a long a lake and sees another blond on the other side and yells out hay how do i get to the other side and the other blond yells back you are on the other side

Answer 6

Hey now, redheads might be offended too if you just don't want to blame blondes....we don't even have our own shirts.

Answer 7

Jet black hair. I have really dark brown hair and I consider dark hair looks better. I don't really like blonde hair.

Answer 8

these jokes are insulting...you are an uptight STEROTYPE who oviously can't come to the conclusion that not ALL the blondes in the world are unintellegent. I am a blonde and proud of it. These jokes are a mere lack of appreciation torwards blondes. I am not calling you a dumb brunette but just stop with it..most of these jokes aren't funny and you shouldn't waste 5 points to a question that is pointless and discriminating.

Answer 9

so do u know the saying blondes have more fun well they have so much more fun the they cant study
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one day a girl with blonde hair named Macy was getting undressed in front of her mear and she screemed and her parents came into the room and said Macy wuts wrong she said you never told me i had a twin

Answer 10

what do you call a intelligent blonde,,,,, a golden retriever