So here's my situation. Me and my bf live together and have been together for over 5 years. We have 2 kids and 1 on the way. My baby is due in january and my brother asked to stay with us for a few months to get on his feet. He's been there since the beginning of september. He doesn't appear to be trying to leave soon. He has only given me 180 dollars since he's been there. He is taking up the room that will be my newborns room. He works practically part time and other then that he doesn't do anything. He's lazy and doesn't help much around the house. It's really stressful and hard on my bf as well. To top it off he brang some girl over last night and they had really loud sex. I mean it was ridiculous. My kids rooms are right next to his!! My boyfriend said something to him. Now he's acting like we've done something wrong. He's basically used up all of our other family members. If we make him leave I don't know where he will go. Any suggestions on how to tell him to leave nicely?
2007-11-10 06:50:06 · 13 answers · asked by ~*cHrIsTiNe*~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should have set down ground rule before you let him move in. Like no over night guests, a time limit on how long he could stay, him finding a full time job, paying rent and helping with the bills, and so on. Now that he is there, and you are not happy about what he is doing you may be stuck with him until you have him evicted. And honestly he is a grown man even if he doesn't act like one. But as long as he has people who will enable him to continue being an irresponsible person, he isn't going to change. Tell him it is time to go. Your kids don't need to be exposed to the things he is doing. And you have a baby coming soon, and need to get the baby's room ready. And tell him that you love him, but your kids have to come first. No matter how nicely you ask him to leave he will still probably be mad at you. But oh well, he will get over it. He has no respect for you or your home anyway. Do what is best for your family. its time for your brother to grow up and take care of him self. Putting him out may be the best thing anyone ever does for him, he will have to sink or swim. Unless he can find someone else to take advantaged of.
2007-11-10 07:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by cris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nicely? Honey, get up off of the floor where you are letting him walk all over you and tell him he has a week to get out. You don't have to give him any excuse other than, its not working out. He's not your problem. Your responsibilities are in this order: You and the baby you are carrying. Your two other children. Your b/f. Everyone and everything else comes dead last.
Look at this situation this way. You get prenatal care for your unborn child. You take your two other children to the doctor for check ups and shots. You make sure your b/f is clean, fed and happy. You protect them, that's your job as a mom and a responsible partner. This is a menace to your family, and should be treated as such. Why spend all that time protecting what you love and what loves you back only to allow this negative ungrateful and selfish being into your life? Your brother will not ever grow up until he is forced to. Help him by telling him its time to go and then making sure he does. You gave him the chance he wanted, he's the one who abused it. You're done.
2007-11-10 07:14:12 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that you are left with any options to make things justified for everyone. You arent your brother's parents, nor do you make the rules in the house. If you parents decide to do this, then let it be. I'm sure they are smart enough to not let things too out of hand. You dont know their motif on this situation. You should just go about doing your own thing and just being as independent as you can. Be a role model and/or positive influence towards your family. It will be noticed and hopefully your parents would try to implement the same lifestyle that you live on your brother. One last thing, I would also have a one time sit down with your brother and vent out everything that you feel about the situation. Give your opinions and dont leave him any room to talk excuses.
2016-04-03 05:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be blunt, he has worn out his welcome. I would draw the line at bringing someone strange into my house. I suggest that you tell him today that he will need to move by the end of the month. Where he will go is not your concern, he will survive. I realize that he is your brother but he needs to be supporting himself, and if you are providing for him he won't do anything to help himself. Besides if you due to have a baby in January I would think that you would be ready to prepare a nursery and if he is in the room to be the nursery then its time for him to move on.
2007-11-14 06:35:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why nicely.? sounds like you,r bro on to a good thing, he,s not a little boy now ,so how about Naff off and dont come back.Tell him to get a life and get a job the lazy scrounger.
2007-11-10 07:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by White Rose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him 30 days to move out, then change the locks. Sounds like tough love is necessary. And 25 is definitely old enough to take care of himself.
2007-11-10 06:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
word of advice from experience they will get over it but your bf and kids have to come first if u put him first will he take care of u and the kids No ss Right now he needs to be sent out on his own to get real hard look at like maybe that be help he needs don be hard on yourself some start life late and have to hit rock bottom to get their
2007-11-10 07:11:29 · answer #7 · answered by andrea g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that the room is for the babyand it should be vacant by December 1st and that no visitors are allowed to stay over.
Your house Your rules
2007-11-10 07:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by MissE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him you give him a week to get a place he used your whole family now hes useing you its time he grows up by you letting him stay there your not helping him in any way good luck
2007-11-10 07:07:13 · answer #9 · answered by master 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can do is tell the dude that his presence has created friction between you and your b/f and its starting to rub off onto the kids.
If you want to ease the big "kicking out", why not help him find a one bedroom apartment or something.
If you make an effort to help him, he will leave.
2007-11-10 07:05:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋