i dont get jewish jokes?

Question

i never went to school so i know nothing about jewish beleifs and lifestyle.

all a jew is to me is somebody who ive never seen.....


i keep hearing jewish jokes such as , 2 jews walkin down street , 6x skinheads come walking up , one jew said to the other , look here i think were gonna get mugged , he said i think your right , anyway heres that 600 quid i owe you.....

and the other one with 2 jews talking , one said what would you do if you won lotto ? other said id give you half cos your my friend ,
he said what if you had 2 houses ? , he said if i had 2 , id give you one cos your my friend ,
what if you had 2 chickens ????????????????????
he said fook off , you know ive got 2 chickens,


what does this get at ?????????????

i dont understand these jokes at all

that is exactly my point ? whats that got to do with jews ?????

why not arabs or christians or us ????/

can somebody take me back to school on jewish history and culture please ????

Answer 1

Jews are cheap.

Answer 2

Well, jokes don't become funny after explained. But anyway, the first one is a joke because they are about to get mugged and they know it, and obviously one jew owes the other a lot of money. So the jew gives 600 quid to the other one so the other one will get mugged instead of him. It doesn't even have to be about jews. It could be 2 guys and the joke would be the same.

The second one is supposedly saying how jewish people make promises that they obviously won't keep. (WHICH IS TOTALLY UNTRUE.) But anyway, the jew is saying he would give half the lottery to his friend if he had it, give a exra house to his friend if he had it, (two things he probably won't have) But when it comes to things he actually could give to his friend, he would never give it to him. (the chickens.)

Answer 3

Pretty simple. There is a stereo type that jewish people are cheap. Like, for example, (and sadly, this is a true story) my ex boyfriend was working in a brewery that served some simple eats like hot dogs and such. Well, this heavily northeastern accented gent comes in and orders a hot dog, for 2.50, and asks my ex, "Now, if I don't get the sourcrout, or any of the toppings, will it be cheaper?" - Mind you, the guy had a nice shiny new benz outside and a rolex watch on. Sorta kinda ironic, ya know?

But it's about as valid of a point that white people are nerdy and preppy, and anyone with slanted eyes is super smart and usually runs the local liquor store, and indians all bob their heads side to side and say goody goody.

Basically, jokes are made at someones expense. They aren't meant to base your morals and values off of. They are meant to bring humor by making observations that can be interpretted in a funny way.

And if jokes offend you, don't listen to them. No one makes you!

Answer 4

I don't believe that you don't get them. You're just looking for an excuse to put anti-semetic jokes on here !

You could tell these jokes about any ethnicity .

The point of # 1 is that they're both going to get robbed. Since the first guy is going to lose his money anyway . . . . . if he gives it to the 2nd guy to pay the debt he owes him he won't get robbed AND still owe the money.

You would have to be very dense not to get the second joke.

BTW . . . . .I'm not Jewish . . . .I just don't like bigots

Answer 5

jews are known to be wealthy so many think they are crooked or shiesty. so what the jokes imply is that the first one- i owe you money and i have 600 bucks on me so here it is and i know your gonna get robbed but your paid back. the second one didnt make much sense to me.
you have probably seen many jews and just didnt realize it. jews are all over the world and could be religious jews or cultural jews.

Answer 6

It's an old stereotype that jewish people have money and want to hang on to it. They are also stereotypically, lawyers, agents and doctors, and run Hollywood (producers and the like). All jobs that make them alot of money. That's all it is. Same as any other ethnic joke.

Answer 7

The first one the guy is paying back teh money he owes his friend before they get robbed get it ???

The second Hmmm 2 chickens I wonder if they are talking about women cause the real jewish people think its ok to have a wife and girlfriend just as long as they never bring the girlfriend to their home PRETTY SWEET HuH........

Answer 8

i am of the jewish faith, some jokes about us are in good
taste and are funny.
you list ones that sound anti-semetic, those are not funny.
jewish people are not supposed to eat pork. good clean
jewish joke, jewish delimila pork chops one half price.
i hope i helped. god bless.

Answer 9

You just wanted to tell us, didn't you? I think they are good examples of Jewish jokes. Nothing wrong with jokes. Something wrong with your mentality. Go in peace and eat in good health.

Answer 10

This is what.

They ask you do you understand and you are able to break nut. You don't understand those jokes at all.

This is another what.

They ask you do you believe and you are able to break nut. You know nothing about jewish belief.

Wheather you understand or don't understand, you laugh because they are joking.

Regards

Answer 11

They are highly offensive. I wish I hadn't had that hate ingrained into me that I do understand where they came from. :( I am offended by those jokes.