If you read some of my old post you will know that my now 17 year old committed a crime. The banks are NOT going to do anything because "she's" paying them back, but, I have taken away ALL her privileges: her phone, TV, computer, boyfriend (who also committed it with her), curfew and such. I told her that "jail" would be alot worst and this was nothing. At least she gets to shower everyday, in jail you get to shower once every 3 days! (LOL)
I think I'm being fair, but wouldn't mind other's opinions.
Oh, and I told her this will last until she's 18 (that's next year) LOL
thanks
2007-11-10 04:08:12 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
"mommy" LOL-for the next year I won't have to clean my house at all!! that's all on her!
2007-11-10 04:13:14 · update #1
No "Luna", I'm NOT paying them back, she is. She's still working for another month and will make enough money to pay it all back. I refused to pay it and if they had tried to make me because she's a minor, I guess I would have gone to jail because I WASN'T going to pay for HER stupidity
2007-11-10 04:15:14 · update #2
"Spirir"
Laughter is all I have if I don't want to cry. Sorry you feel that what I'm doing is far too much, but I work with "at risk" children for the last 7 years and the one thing I have notice in all of this is that "parents" are too laxed on their children, not holding them responsible for their actions and in the long run they grow up without morels or respect! You can't have it both ways...If I (an adult) did what she did, do you think the courts will think of themselves as "too hard" on me when I'm in jail for 5 years? If I had no heart for my child, or didn't teach her right from wrong, that's where I would be in the wrong, but that's not the case here. I raised all 3 of my kids with: respect, morles, right from wrong and the vaules of other people.
2007-11-10 04:25:18 · update #3
Apparently, she has commited some sort of bank fraud. Banks don't like for this sort of thing to be public since they think it gives them a bad name.
Fortunately, you are not afraid to be a parent. That has become more the exception rather than the rule nowadays.
Stand your ground. In my younger years my father was pretty strict and once the punishment was meted out, that was it, end of discussion. No time off for good behavior because that was what was expected in the first place. I didn't like him much then, but looking back, I realize today I had the best dad.
He was my dad, my parent, and I was expected to honor and obey him. I obeyed him then but I was too young to honor him.
Today, with my own kids, I honor him by being a parent to my kids in the same way he was a parent to me. I'm not very cool as far as they're concerned, but that's OK. They don't like it, but someday they'll appreciate it.
Don't back down; it'll come back to haunt you in some other way. Oh, and BTW, I think the boyfriend should be permanently banned from your home, and I'd tell him very point blank. Not just till she's 18 either. It's your home; your rules apply regardless of their age.
YOU GO, MOM!!
2007-11-10 04:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by criscoelectric 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Fair punishment, yes. I would make her earn back the priveleges. For each set block of time she is cooperative and non-complaining about her just punishment, she can earn back a privalege- which can be taken back at any time she becomes uncooperative.
How about assigning her some research projects? What the legal punishment is for an adult who performs various crimes- ones you feel she may have leaned toward?
Remind her that this is called tough love. If you didn't love her she would be on her own, but you do and want better for her than the choices she has made.
Stick with your gut, Anjel. She is lucky to have you for her mom.
2007-11-10 17:20:11 · answer #2 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Years ago a friend had 2 boys 10 and 12 who were picked up by the police. After a good scare the parents were called to pick them up at the police station. The father held back tears as he told the caller 'No, you keep them over night and give them nothing to eat but bread and water. I'll pick them up in the morning.' It made a permanent impression on their future behaviors. Kids will always have what I refer to as 'The last of the red hot temper tantrums,' where they have to take it over the edge. It is at that point that the parent begins to lose sanity. It will most likely fall into one of 3 categories: l. Faith and morals, 2. Sex, 3. Substance abuse.
2007-11-10 04:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take everything, and I mean everything, except the bed out of her room. Tell her if she wants to act like a crimanal she can live like one too. Allow her to leave the room only for school and work. Also, if you really want to make a point, take the door off her bedroom and put in a glass door where you can see inside. Make her eat dinner in her "cell" (her room). She is only allowed 1 hour of free time (in your house) where she can watch TV. She can also make one 15 minute phone call during her free time. This should make your point. Tell her that her sentence is 2 - 3 months depending on her behavior during the time. After she gets out of "jail" she is under "house arrest" for another month.
2007-11-10 05:30:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think its MORE than fair........I too ran into such a problem, "it worked" But, since I had to take on "having to watch him as a YOUNG child. There was no curfew, his butt stayed right here at home. Although the WARDEN did give a little gain-time for xtra things he did as a result of having nothing else to do. Good-Luck
Sweetie!!
2007-11-10 05:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a very fair punishment. She could've gone to jail and got lucky since she didn't go. You should make home like jail for her so that she learns from her mistakes. I like the punishment and I think it clearly fits the crime
2007-11-10 05:18:26 · answer #6 · answered by First Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That souns very fair. I haven't read your old posts, but since it has to do with a bank, I am guessing she robbed it or something. When you said "she", I am guessing you are paying it back. I would make her get a job and pay for at least some of it herself. WHen she is 18, kick her out, it sounds like she did something really really bad!
Good Luck!
2007-11-10 04:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
What you're doing is excellent! That's tough love, but it's still love and who knows WHAT would happen to her in jail from other inmates! It's nice to see a parent take control, and you don't need validation for your actions from ANY of us! Great job, Mom! She'll thank you for it later, plus you're showing her what responsibility is all about. Excellent!
2007-11-10 09:47:09 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She could be in Juve right now and I don't know what crime she committed but I am sure she should be thanking God that she is given this second chance and has a parent that cares.
2007-11-10 06:26:54 · answer #9 · answered by Veritas et Aequitas () 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
damn right thats fair. your daughter did a big crime and is pretty much getting away with it. i am asuming this is her first crime and for your childs first crime, you have to punish severely the first time so they know they wont get away with again. if you went soft on her the first time, she would think she can keep doing crimes with little punishment. this is how kids end up getting long criminal records. you really need to punish her severly because you really need to make a strong first impression
2007-11-10 06:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by Dougy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋